Would You as the Parent Prefer ........

Updated on November 28, 2011
D.G. asks from Mansfield, TX
43 answers

My niece will be 4 months old at Christmas. I know she will absolutely have no idea what is going on so her presents are more for mom & dad than anyone. I have thought about getting a can or 2 of formula and some diapers for her for Christmas. Her mom and dad are young and don't make alot of money. Plus with rent, car payments, etc. I know it gets tight. Would you as moms prefer that or a toy for the upcoming ages (6 months) or clothes for spring ? I know she will need some clothes also as she is outgrowing everying ! Thanks for all your opinions !

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

I would think a small toy and a gift card to Walmart or Target for what ever they might need for the baby. If I were to receive formula or diapers for a Christmas gift I would feel kind of embarrassed to know that the person is doing it because they think I don't make much money.
That's how I would feel anyway and I come from a house with not a lot of money.

3 moms found this helpful

A.R.

answers from Houston on

In my extended family when a couple couldn't afford things it was usually the extras like toys or nice clothes. You might want to consider that aspect before proceeding. I bought a huge bag of toys for my sister in law and she was so thankful since they just didn't have the money for age appropriate toys for their daughter. Although I love the idea of adding the formula to a family care basket/package. That makes it fun since everyone is included in the package - food and beverages for mom and dad with formula and/or diapers for baby.

2 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I always tensd to take the practical approach--especially when someone is clearly in need: some combination of some basics: diapers, wipes, formula and also maybe a play clothes outfit or set of sleepers in a bigger size.

2 moms found this helpful

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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

My MIL has always gone overboard for things SHE thinks we need. I'm super practical. I'd rather have the stuff we need when we've been up against the wall and esp. with littles. Or for the super fun stuff that I could never afford to do (family passes to the museum/zoo, lessons, etc.).

I like the gift card idea...maybe a generic Visa one. Who knows. Maybe they have diapers that week, but are low on groceries. Maybe they are struggling with buying Baby girl a present of their own and could use your GIFT of money to pick out a present for her. It's a win/win.

Depending on how much you want to spend, maybe attach the gift card to a case of diapers.

Maybe they would like to have a photo session for her 6 month pictures?

Is she on Wic or anything like that? She may already be getting formula. Clothes and toys are super easy to find second hand or on clearance. However, I do love it when the Grandmas buy the super cute outfits that are out of my regular price range. They are usually the ones I have my kids photographed in and save.

Bless you for looking out for them.

2 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Hmmm...when I was young and broke and had a young baby I would have LOVED a gift certificate to a second hand store. Probably one that specializes in baby stuff...we have a lot of them around here. Plus, I think formula and diapers is a great idea. Maybe wipes? Gas card? My problem was that if I ever got a Target/Walmar/Fred Meyer card I would use it as a family card and get groceries as opposed to getting just something for the baby.
L.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Denver on

I think if you did a little "baby care package" it could be cute. Maybe one outfit, a small pack of diapers, some formula and a rattle all put together. Then it seems more like a cute "theme" rather than possibly hurting their feelings by it looking like a handout.

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

i think that if I were in her shoes - I would LOVE clothes for the future and a toy or two!

Formula and diapers for me - that would be something I would put in a CARE package for them.

how sweet of you to do this!!

1 mom found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is great and I would have loved it, very thoughtful...Diapers and formula do add up!

I would probably do a case of diapers and like 4-5 cans of formula plus maybe an outfit and a book, if I could swing it!

Good job Auntie!

1 mom found this helpful
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N.L.

answers from Chicago on

I think getting her an outfit/toy would be great. As a mom, I know I would do whatever it takes to keep my kids fed and dry/clothed...but I wouldn't spend any extra money on toys if things were tight. I'd love it if someone else could provide the "extras" to make the holiday special if i had to focus on the "needs."

You could always add a small gift card for them to use "as needed." :)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Diapers and clothes are a necessity. If they are really looking for help with things like that, definitely do that. But if you think parents make enough to buy the necessities for the baby, I would say buy something that they can't afford right now. There are number of things a baby could use which also can be helpful for parents. Depending on your budget , you can buy bouncer (my son LOVED it at that age and it's not very expensive) , exersaucer (we had the baby einstein - around the world, my son would spend lot of time in there while I got things done in the house) , high chair (baby will need it once they start solid food). Other than these, you can get teething toys, bath toys , peekaboo books etc. You can also get crib sheets and comfortor set (you can find good ones at walmart for lesser) . Buying diapers , clothes etc is very nice but it would be nice for the baby to enjoy these other things as well since the parents can't afford it.

1 mom found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

1 can of formula, diapers, and a 6 months+ toy

I personally think that most of us have too many clothes for our kids, and they can be gotten quite cheaply at resale shops. But toys end up in the kids' mouths, so I prefer to buy new ones

1 mom found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

You are a very thoughtful aunt! Yes, find out what brand and size of diapers they use, give them a case, but also give the baby something cute like one outfit and maybe throw in a gift card to a store like Target as well. The parents should really value your thoughtfulness.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Gift card to somewhere like Walmart/Target - then they can decide how to spend it.

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Ah...challenging! I would have cried if my baby didn't have good gifts for her at her first Christmas...I'm more practical now. So if she needs more things for her, then get those. The mom and dad will appreciate it!! But if you can, toss in a little toy or outfit for her too.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

So sweet! I think they are all nice. If they are short on money then I'd probably go with formula and diapers. But maybe you could do just one of those and then some spring clothes or a small toy, so it's still "fun" for the parents to open plus something useful!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would like a nice outfit for spring or a toy. Toys and cute but frivolous clothes aren't top of the heap when you have little to spare.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

Do the parents get WIC to pay for formula? If they dont and are short of money.. they should sign up for WIC and that will provide most or all of the fomula.

Diapers are expensive adn you always need them. A nice case of diapers ($30) would be a great gift..You might want to ask what brand works best.. my kids were skinny and huggies leaked.. but pampers never leaked.

A practical outfit in a bit larger size would be great.. not some frilly dress taht she wont wear but an outfit taht will work for a real baby everyday wear..

1 mom found this helpful
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3.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I think all of the above are great ideas! At 4 months they of course have no clue. And if money is tight for the parents I would definitely do diapers, larger sized clothes, money for her piggy bank, gift certificate for pictures.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Most parents budget for food and diapers. The "extras" are the things that get cut out when money gets tight. I would do a couple of mix-and-match items for spring (6-9 months) and a couple of board books. You can find great deals on these items at TJ Maxx/Marshalls. I would then attach (if you can afford to do so) and gift card to Target or Walmart as a "family gift" at let them buy what they need.

When my niece and her husband had their third child, it was not planned and they could not afford to have another child. The above is what we did for them for Christmas that year... something small (but new and cute) for the kids and a gift card to Target. I found out later that they used the gift card for toiletries and other items that they could find there and that it was helpful to not have to worry about shampoo and soap for a month or so.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

I wouldn't buy for the future...the diapers and formula sound good and maybe add a fancy little rattle or something babies that little hold.

1 mom found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

I would have preferred a gift card for the family and a little toy for the baby. A stuffed animal or shape sorter or something, nothing too extravagant. That way I could use the gift card for whatever was needed and wouldn't have to worry about returning spring clothes that don't fit come Spring or diapers that are the one brand that my daughter leaks through, etc.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

Toys and future clothes for the girl. Babies need things to do. A gift card to Target for the parents - let them provide essentials for their child.

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

diapers & clothes definately.

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I'd get that stuff and a little outfit. Those things add up FAST money wise and at the age gifts aren't important to them.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

Can you do both? I think a little fun and a little function would make the perfect gift. Maybe a pack of diapers or a can of formula, as well as a cute rattle or toy with a set of clothes. Target and wal-mart have very cute and cheap toys and clothes, so you could probably get a toy and an outfit for the same price as a pack of diapers. Hopefully that wouldn't break the bank. If you can't afford both, then I would say go with toy or clothes, because those are still "necessities" but more fun for Christmas than diapers or formula would be.

Added: I did not read all responses, but I have to strongly disagree with the comments I've seen that toys are not needed at this age. I am a pediatric physical therapist, and this age is PRIME for developing grasp and hand/eye coordination for getting hands to mouth (all critical skills needed in a few more short months when they need to start feeding themselves finger foods). Keep in mind, a toy can be a small set of baby teether rings or a rattle. But some homes literally have NO TOYS. I go in to see baby and the baby lies on a blanket with NOTHING to look at or hold or reach for. If I ask for a toy, the parents will often bring a broken toy car or book or McDonalds toy that belongs to older brother/sister. If they already have a handful of toys for your niece, then I agree to skip on the toys for now. But if they truly don't have anything for her- and it's more common than you would think- I highly recommend getting a toy. Little rattles or teether toys are small, cheap, and very important developmentally to learn how to hold, grasp, manipulate, and get items to mouth, and will last for several months before she outgrows them. Babies DO NEED toys at this age (I think many of us who have a living room full of toys, stuffed animals and baby gear overlook that we have more than is necessary and could get by with less, but some homes truly have nothing appropriate for babies).

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

I would prefer books or a toy at that age.

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J.G.

answers from Dallas on

When my youngest was a baby at Christmas (4 mos) I actually asked for diapers. He was my 3rd boy so I had lots of clothes and more than enough toys. I think it will be very appreciated. Clothes is always a great thing especially if you get some that are different sizes.

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S.O.

answers from Amarillo on

Skip the formula.....I'd do the diapers & clothes!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Toy, and a good gift card for them to a grocery store near them. My ex gave me the best present one year. It was $100 gift card to Walmart, I bought groceries and all kinds of stuff we had been wishing for and not able to afford. It was the best gift ever!

The baby would love to have some teething toys, something to encourage crawling and/or tummy time, etc...even non breakable mirrors for the baseboard area of their play room. Look in child care supply books and filter it down by age or skills, like gross motor development.

http://www.ecmdstore.com/Product/ProductList.aspx?categor...

And of course there is always little tykes. We have always had some sort of climber in the kids bedrooms. They need the gross motor play during hot or cold outdoor days.
http://www.littletikeschildcare.com/

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

I always preferred clothing for my children when they were that young.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I also have to vote for the gift card. That way they can get whatever they need and may be able to get both formula and some clothes with the after Christmas sales!

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

1 small toy/cute cheap outfit/stuffed animal and a gift card to Walmart/Target/the grocery store. I LOVE the gift of CHOICE that a gift card like that gives! If I run out of gas/toilet paper/milk the night before pay day I can use the gift card, if I want to splurge on a steak dinner and a new toy for the kiddo I can use the gift card!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Diapers and formula are gifts for the parents, not for the baby, IMO. I would get her spring clothes, books and/or a gift card so that they can choose clothes or baby equipment that they needed. I would have found formula and diapers to be an odd holiday gift for a baby, to be honest. I know that you mean well, but just because they don't make tons of money does not mean that they want to be seen as the poorly relations, and I agree with those who say that sounds more like a handout than a present for the baby. When money is tight, the parents are likely supplying the baby with the essentials but cannot afford any luxury items, so I'd pick something that they're not likely to buy - a fabulous dress that she can wear for her first Easter, some really nice books for baby, etc.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

I would go with clothes. Even though they may need formula and diapers, Christmas to me is a time for indulgences not necessities. Clothes are kind of both. They get the spring clothes they will need, but they also get cute little outfits for their daughter.

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I would agree with a gift certificate for a supermarket (or Target, Walmart). This way they can get food, baby stuff etc. I would also get a little something for babies first Christmas, like an orniment or picture frame.

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R.M.

answers from Dallas on

Diapers or formula are always good, as well as clothes. You might also try cash or gift cards. I bet they would appreciate anything.

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am a practical person, so I vote for wrapped packages of diapers and a cute spring outfit or two. At that age, I wouldn't worry about toys.

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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

Since money does not seem to be as big of an issue for you as for your niece's family, I would suggest a toy. I have found that baby toys are very expensive! You can always go to a thrift store and get used clothes (most are in great condition since babies grow so quickly), but some people do not want to give a second hand toy to a child who puts everything in their mouth.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I would so much rather have the diapers, or clothes, formula, or essentials for my child then a toy. They can survive without a toy, but not clothes etc. And if they dont have a lot of money for things, then yes, I would so much rather something that can be used multiple times then something that my child MIGHT play with.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Do a little of both or gift card. J.

E.A.

answers from El Paso on

I second the idea of a lil baby care package.

Maybe in a cute basket put a baby's firt Xmas something and a lil toy and baby lotion or a cute outfit idk be creative :)

To me that would be a lovely and super thoughtful gift.

Ooh maye even a diaper cake?

A.G.

answers from Houston on

Clothing.......the formula and diapers would obviously be a handout

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T.Z.

answers from Dallas on

my mil gives us a membership to someplace so we can take the kids places during the year...at our request! it is perfect. we can send her pics of the stuff we do, we dont have to worry about money when we do it, it doesnt require any cleanup or storage space in the house. we have doen the arboretum, zoo, heard muses., there are the places at fair park (childrens muse., discovery gardens, aquarium,,,) All the places have educational opportunitues and hands on experiences...i think my kids are old enough now (2/4) to try the sci tech center...

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