Hello All! My little boy is now 9 weeks old and I was wondering what his bedtime should be. I have been putting him down at 10pm so he would sleep longer at night in the beginning. I know I should be moving up his bedtime but am not sure exactly when or how to do this. Any advice?
I read a great book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It tells you for each stage of life, i.e. birth to 3 months, what their sleep habits should be and how to get those habits. It's long and a little boring, but has great chapter reviews that you can skip to. It's great! I know so many people who have "sleep trained" their children to nap and go to bed without crying.
Hi C., I'm not sure what the "right time" to go to bed is, I think it probably varies for all babies.....but here's what I did.....I have a 6 and half month old who currently goes to bed at 9pm. Originally he went to bed at 10:30, I did the same as you trying to get him to sleep longer. Slowly, I would move up his night time ritual before bed, which is a bath, a little light playtime and a nursing (or bottle, I do both). I would move it up about a half hour, every two to three weeks, but most of the time he would tell me that he needed to go to bed earlier by getting crankier earlier and rubbing his eyes earlier. As they get a little older and start to become more active they need more sleep and will naturally become more tired. You sort of need to feel out your own baby to see when he's ready to go to bed earlier. Hope that helps...
My personal opinion is that it varies from child to child, just like most things. We had read all the books when our first son was born but it didn't take long to figure out that if we put him down earlier than 9:30 p.m. he would be awake around 4:00 a.m. Our second son is very similar to his brother in that aspect.
Now that our oldest is 9, we have found that his bedtime needed adjustment. He now goes to bed at 9:00 p.m. and we may up that to 8:30 p.m.
My advise is to see how your child does at an earlier bedtime and then adjust it from there. The main thing is to be consistent once you have decided which time works best for him.
I seem to have had different experience with babies. It did not seem to matter the bedtime, the wake up time seemed set. If for some reason we don't keep our strict 8 p.m. bedtime for Bert, he still wakes up between 5-530 a.m. So I put him to bed at 8 anyway - and he knows it is bedtime.
I have to be strict as I have three children with hugely varying ages (10 y.o, 3 y.o. and 11 mo. old) . They all go to bed at the same time and listen to the same bedtime stories. Bert gets his bottle during story time and is put in his bed when his bottle is done and the girls are in bed. The oldest will sleep later if kept up later (late for us is 8 a.m.) but the little ones wake up at 530 and 6-630 no matter what bedtime. So I recommend just moving the bedtime back about 15 minutes every few nights until you have the time you need them in bed.
That way you have some time in the evening for quiet grown up time to relax etc... for yourself. Good luck
Hey C.,
I have a 4mo old daughter and I agree w/ the advice given to you. Each baby will have their own sleep time, and it will usually change (mine did anyways) We TRIED to encourage our daughter to sleep around 6 weeks w/ the following: For us what worked well, was turning down the lights, TV, etc around 9ish. It would then take roughly an hour or so to get her into deep sleep, so usually she would sleep by around 10 or 10:30. This time worked well for me, because then she wouldn't get up till around 2 for a feeding, and then another one around 6ish, which by that time I was up anyway. That said, this "routine" was very flexible, as some nights she just wouldn't be tired until 11 or sometimes even 12, although we always did the lights off, noise off at the same time.
However,I do want to let you know that the actual sleep time varied greatly. At around 3 months, she decided, either out of comfort or hunger, that she would wake up 3-4x a night to nurse. So, even though we kept her bedtime the same, she is waking up more frequently. After talking to her Dr, and doing research, she is doing what most infants at this stage do. Apparently at this age, she is so intrigued by her world, that she is not eating as much during the day, and therefore compensating at night (I still try to feed her every 2-3 hours, but sometimes she only eats for 5 minutes) To counter my new found time awake during the night, we decided to try getting her to sleep a bit earlier. Coincidentally we also noticed that she was getting more and more fussy earlier in the night, so we proceeded to start the same routine (lights, sound) at around 8:30. So far so good. It seems like she is getting used to sleeping at this time, and doesn't require that much coaxing (i.e. nursing,rocking etc.)
The main thing I can tell you is don't get too set into a particular time, because as your baby grows and develops it will all change, and as all babies are different it's hard to predict. Just listen and pay attention to your baby and experiment with what works best and you will figure it out. Good luck!!
In our house, bedtime is whenever the baby goes down that will allow her to wake up at 8. Every time she woke up late 2 days in a row, we'd back her bedtime up by that amount of time. 15 minutes was about how much each time. Trust what he tells you and know there isn't a rule that you have to follow. My baby is 13 mos and goes to bed at 8:45. She sleeps until 8 and has two 1 1/2 hour naps. We couldn't be happier.
K.
I agree with Vanessa. Your son is so little to have a set bedtime. Do what works for you. I didn't worry about a bedtime for my kids until they stopped taking naps. That is when you really need to make sure they get enough sleep. Until then do what works for you.
I feel confident in the idea of watching the baby and not the clock. Your baby will know when he needs to sleep. I think that at that age, as much as we need a routine, schedules are too rigid. Let your baby tell you when he needs his sleep! It will strengthen your bond too, as you watch for what he wants. I love the attachment parenting motto, "Watch the baby and not the clock. Watch the baby and not the calendar!" Every baby is different! Some sleep for hours at a time and some only a couple at a time. Congratulations on being a mommy!
