To Color or Not to Color!

Updated on November 23, 2010
R.S. asks from Upper Sandusky, OH
31 answers

Ok- I'm looking for your opinions! What would you do? I'm 29 years old and pregnant with our second child. My hair is about 40% GREY! Already. I'm certain I've inherited this from my mother as she's 48 and 100% beautiful silver. She's been turning a lovely shade of silver since she was about 15 and has been all silver since she was about 35. It looks wonderful on her too! I can't tell if I'm going to be lucky enough to be as nice and silver as hers (she originally had a very dark brown hair and I on other hand have my fathers dirty blonde).
However, regardless of which color I'll end up having I'm not sure if I want to look 10-20 years older than I am! I don't want to look like my kid's grandmother instead of mommy. You know what I mean? After the baby's born should I consider coloring or go au natural? What would you do??
And I have to add that I'm new to this site and completely addicted! I love asking you all for help and opinions! I wish I had found this sooner! Thanks in advance! :)

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies!
You know, some days I really like it because I feel unique, than other days I feel washed out and old! I used to color A LOT when I was in high school and college. The last 5 years or so I've had highlights off and on to try and blend the grey in which worked for a while. I think I'm going to have my mom (she's a beautician!) just put me back to my natural color. Maybe later on I'll try something a little more funky! Who knows how I'll feel after baby two is born! Might need a sexy new me pick me up!! ;)

My friends and family says it looks good on me, but I think they also don't want to hurt my feelings! That's why I like asking people that don't really know me! The truth is most often easily answered when it's not face to face and when feelings aren't involved! :)

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

I'm all for coloring. My husband says he'll make fun of me if I dye my hair, but that's just dumb. I don't have to go grey if I don't want to. Just like he could go to Hair Club for Men if he didn't want to be bald.

My MIL didn't dye her hair for a long time. She's just started now that she's a grandma. She had her last baby at the age of 40. FIL is completely grey/white, so you can imagine that everyone thought my poor little BIL was a grandchild. There's no reason they all had to go through that! MIL just never really cared about how she looked (and doesn't really now, either).

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My friend was in the same exact situation at you, except at 25. She had two kids, and got it from her mom. She has been coloring her hair ever since. =) I have to admit I color my hair anyway, but if I were going grey I definately would.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

Hi Rachel, I like you am going gray fast and am only 32. I dye it. I have to do my roots every 4 weeks. I am not brave enough to just let it go, lol.

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T.M.

answers from Bakersfield on

Well, I've been using color for-evah! My mom let hers grow out and hers looks good on HER, but I am so not ready to look like my mom yet and I'm pretty certain my husband doesnt want me lookin like her yet either.
I say color on.... sounds like you arent ready to be a silver fox yet either ;)
My gray is pure snow white, I'm sure it will be pretty when I'm ready for it.... I'm just not there yet.

3 moms found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from Dayton on

Hello,
If I were in your shoes, I would clolor my hair. However, I would wait for awhile after the baby is born. At least until your hormones are back to normal. Years ago, I got a perm about three months after my daughter was born. The perm was completly gone out of my hair after only one week. Before my daughter was born a perm would hold for almost two years. I have not gotten one since then. Those crazy hormones will do crazy things to our bodies. Good Luck, T.

2 moms found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Redding on

All I know is that there are several ladies that I work with (older mind you) that have colored their hair for years and have gotten tired of it, the process is de-coloring it is almost worse. It takes a long time and your hair looks odd through the process.
I can't say that I wouldn't die my hair at your age, but I just wanted you to concider the porcess to undo the color. Especially if you love your moms color.

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N.

answers from Dallas on

You are young and you will look older with gray hair (even pretty gray hair can age you) so unless you are happy with your hair color "au naturale", you should color it. I'm terribly lazy when it comes to coloring my hair so I go partially gray every few months or so, but I always feel better after I color again and I think, why didn't I color sooner? LOL

Blessings,
N. :-)

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A.H.

answers from New York on

i would maybe do some types of streaks.. which may make it look summer like.. or ask at a salon what they would do. I wouldn't want to be gray just yet. My daughter is 12 and already has a lot of grey.. not sure if it's her heritage.. she is adopted from Korea.. but I feel badly for her.. her friends started to notice... and are like is that gray.. so i had the girl we go to for haircuts... add some lighter streaks than her hair color is.. to cover up the gray.. it looks so nice... she is happier.. and she don't feel like a granny! I think letting your hair go somewhat gray in your 50's is ok.. but before that it's hard... good luck.. you'll be a great mommy...

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R.S.

answers from Terre Haute on

I would do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable and confident about yourself.
I have been told by several women that since I am over 45 it is expected I cut my hair short. ---I have not -----I get so many compliments on my hair now -----It looks the best it has ever looked ----and yes I have the grey hidden and highlights put in but that is what I feel most comfortable in.
I think as women we have to be comfortable with the skin were in --or hair color----you can always change it --LOL
Good luck and enjoy:)

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J.T.

answers from New York on

I have been covering my grey since I was 27. Now at 41 I am soooo tired of doing it (right now I have a skunk stripe).

Go natural at first, then if you don't like it you can color it later. Once you start stopping is hard...

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Well I have friends, who color their hair... using a color that is like their own natural hair color. Then it is not so obvious. Or they highlight it. Or use temporary color... not permanent.

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B.R.

answers from Columbus on

You are so young-color it! There are many products that are gentle on your hair and the temporary ones are easy and last about 6 weeks. Then you redo, but not leaving it on as long on the ends which have a tendency to absorb more color.

However, the temporary ones may not color gray very well, so you may have to try another more permanent product. Still, you are young and probably should not go natural yet. There's nothing wrong with that if you want to, but you will probably look like his grandmother and not his mom, unfortunately.

And congratulations!

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K.Z.

answers from Cleveland on

Warning--I tried a temporary color on my partly-grey hair and it NEVER washed out.

I have colored mine twice and just live with it growing out to part grey again. My view is "it's fun while it lasts, but the real me is ok too". But I am a lot older than you (53), and yes, when I was 36 and walking with my oldest son (then 2.5), someone thought I was his grandma (but to his credit, he apologized immediately upon finding out I was the mom).

Whatever you do will be fine! Congrats on the soon-to-arrive new little one!

K. Z.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

How does it look now? I would say that after the baby is born (you may have to wait longer if breastfeeding since you will still have hormones, but I dont' know for sure), just look in the mirror and decide if you want to color or not. You can always do one of those that fades so that if you decide to go natural, it will happen more "naturally". I think that there are plenty of women our age with grey hair, but it is such a taboo that everyone dyes. I know that when my mom finally went natural, it looked so much better!

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would say color it.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

At this age I'd say color it but I can't stand women in their 70s, 80s, 90s that color their gray it just doesn't look right colored at that age.

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L.

answers from Cleveland on

I have always wanted to color my hair some unusual shade like blue or purple. Now such colors are available and I am pretty old (59) . My hair is still not grey at all, but my natural blonde has darkened some, so I spritz my hair every couple of days with a mixture of water and hydrogen peroxide (50/50) to give it that sun kissed look all year round.

If I were younger, I would definately use a fun color and go for it!!

PS, I adopted my kids when I was in my 40's and often had people ask me if I was their grandmother...sometimes people are just rude!

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm NEVER going grey. I know it won't improve me. Most people look washed out with grey, although a few people look fabulous. It's your decision.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

Nothing wrong with beautiful silver hair! Love that.
If you do decide to color, remember that a permanent color is just that and will not gradually wash out. And if you decide to stop coloring, well you have to let the color grow out and that can take a while leaving you half and half. I would suggest using a temp color or highlighting/low lighting that makes hair look more natural. I think that the older you get the more you really stay away from the dark colors. They really tend to appear flat and put years on your face.
Early Congratulations on the new baby,
C.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

If it were me I would color my hair.
Its chance to try a new look whatever color you want to be. Could be fun and interesting.
Also if your concerned try a temporary wash out color first, then if you like it try a permanate one.

p.s. I am new to the site too, and wish that I had found it sooner, and completely addicted as well :)

Best of luck!

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Go for it!!! Grey hair always makes a woman look older.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Buy a box of color and try it. If you don't like it, wait for it to fade and grow out or try another color.
I have died my hair off and on for 10 years for no other reason except that I get bored and it's cheaper than a new hair style:) But I'm starting to get gray hairs so I plan to continue dying until it's weird (my 90-year-old grandmother has a weird brown-green color...it no longer makes her look any younger :P lol)
Anyhow, it's totally safe to dye your hair now, you don't have to wait until after you give birth.
My friend teaches as a beauty school. She told me that they use Loreal and there's almost no difference between what you buy for $10 at Kroger and what you pay them to do for $50+ (a lot more at a high-end salon). It doesn't have to cost that much, if you color your hair every 6 weeks, you're looking at around $100/year, less if you get coupons out of the paper and buy when it's on sale.

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D.F.

answers from Cleveland on

If I was in your shoes, I would want to color my hair. It could get costly, so only if you can afford it. I'm sure you would be beautiful either way :)

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

We have a rogue white gene in our family. I was REALLY hoping to get it (starts in puberty, snow white by highschool grad), but missed out. So I dyed my hair platinum (almost pure white) for some time in protest. Especially since most of us are deeply tanned with light eyes (blue, green, gold, hazel), when the white gene strikes... it's just that... strikingly beautiful. But the transformation process is icky. Half and half just looks "old", no matter when it happens.

That's definitely an option for you. Go lighter and lighter blonde, until you're at a good platinum to let the grey blend in completely.

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A.C.

answers from Chicago on

hey hun...I would color it...you're still young! ;) no reason not to unless you really want to. Im a hairstylist and im also a color specialist (and Im 29 weeks pregnant with my first...I color my hair every 5 weeks) so if you have any questions feel free to message me and ask if you'd like!

Updated

hey hun...I would color it...you're still young! ;) no reason not to unless you really want to. Im a hairstylist and im also a color specialist (and Im 29 weeks pregnant with my first...I color my hair every 5 weeks) so if you have any questions feel free to message me and ask if you'd like!

Updated

hey hun...I would color it...you're still young! ;) no reason not to unless you really want to. Im a hairstylist and im also a color specialist (and Im 29 weeks pregnant with my first...I color my hair every 5 weeks) so if you have any questions feel free to message me and ask if you'd like!

1 mom found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Seattle on

I say color it...you have plenty of time to be your natural color, when your older :)

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I had a teacher with beautiful silver hair and a very young looking face (though I think, looking back, she was 40ish). But that is not typical. If I saw a lot of gray at your age I would probably color it. I don't know because women in my family go gray pretty late (grandma wasn't all gray until her mid 70's, my mom is in her mid 60's and only has a little around her face, I have only a few strands so far.) My aunt has dark brown hair and had some gray in her 20's but she went for funky, young looking colors and cuts like an asymetrical cut with plum highlights. Do what makes you feel good.

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J.K.

answers from Evansville on

Honestly, I would check with your OB. I'm really surprised that no one else had mentioned this. Mine highly recommended that I did NOT color while pregnant. I didn't use permanent color (just the 28 day stuff), and she still recommended waiting. Not only can the fumes be a problem, but more importantly, trace amounts of the chemicals can be absorbed through your scalp and can be harmful.

I'd say don't risk it right now. Why take chances? Color away, sweetie... just wait a couple of months :)

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I would never go gray. It always makes you look older than you are.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would say color it. But who you should really ask is your friends and family. Thats a hard call to make without seeing you.

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

It's a person thing. . I started going gray in my 30's (thanks to mom too). I started with the over the counter highlighters until my gray got too bad. I think I have been permanently coloring now since 35 or 36. I am now 47 and have discussed it with my kids and husband. They have said they are not ready for the whole gray yet. I will probably think about it again at 50. My hair is much easier to take care of colored because the gray hair acts differently than the colored hair. I don't know what I will do with my hair once I do let it go gray. (out of control and coarse) Whichever you decide to do, be happy with your decision.

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