Starting a New School!

there is a great American Girl book about starting Middle School - it helped the little girl I take care of tremendously - it even has a chapter on lockers! there is also a book on "How to Deal with Sticky Situations" - also a must-read for Middle Schoolers. Good luck!

I have also heard good things about the book- "Smart Girl's Guide to Starting Middle School". It is from the American Girl library and is supposed to be very helpful for girls moving up to middle school.

You may also want to talk to the guidance counselor or one of your daughter's teachers. My sister is a 6th grade teacher at a middle school and she says it helps if she knows ahead of time so she can be more aware and intervene if a child is showing signs of becoming stressed or overwhelmed. She also says most 6th grade teachers understand that this is a big adjustment and try to be sensitive by making the first few days as non-stressful as possible.

Pray for your daughter and that God gives her teachers the wisdom to say and do exactly what your daughter needs, when she needs it.

Good luck and God bless!

Hi,

I know this is a lot easier said than done and I'm not totally sure it will work, but I work with high school aged kids who have varying diffiulties with school. In this type of circumstance, sometimes I find that sitting down and helping them to set just 1 or 2 realistic goals for the school year can help: things like get to know a couple of other kids that I like, or keep my grade in math up. Then, once she's targetted a couple things talk about a few things she can do on a daily basis to get there: join a club, ask at least two questions a day in class... I find it helps to write it down so you can go back to it every week or so to check in. Sometimes this works because it makes the kid feel like they have some control over a new situation rather than feeling like everything is out of their hands and just up to chance or luck.

Also, I'd check and see if there's an advisory program at the school where there's at least one adult who gets to know your child well outside of just being their classroom teacher.

I guess just prepare well and hope for the best. Middle school is a tough time and the kids are awful when you're the social underdog. Hopefully, she'll get to school, see that some kids she knows are in her class, and thrive.

Is she afraid of becoming a "big kid", harder work, or the social part? Maybe remind her that each year of school is harder but built on what she already knows so she's prepared even if she doesn't feel ready. I really hope things go well! The best of luck to you!

I understand you don't want to use homeschooling as an excuse for her not to attend middle school but don't rule it out as an option. Homeschoolers do NOT, as my husband will attest to, stay home all the time and never interact with others. We homeschool. In a typical month we are away from home: 3 Fridays for Co-Op classes, 1 Friday for a field trip (yes, a field trip every month), 1 Monday for an Earth Science class, every Thursday for Japanese, Violin lesson, and Orchestra. Other families that we know are away from home for team sports through the local Recreation Department, gymnastics, Karate, dance, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, etc. My son participated in the local Homeschool Science Fair and went on to Regionals (which is for public, private, etc. schools). Another student we know went on to the state level for History (I think) Fair of some kind.

A child does not have to go to school to have a social aspect to their lives.

Since you are praying, listen hard to the answer. It might be homeschooling or it might be being there to listen to and support your daughter daily when she comes home from school (which might also lead to homeschooling or might lead her to a wonderful year in middle school). Good luck and let us know what happens.

My son is 11 and started middle school also. Yesterday, as a matter of fact. He was very nervous. He even shed a few tears. I simply reassured him that being nervous was okay and all of his classmates were feeling the same way he was. I also told him in life we will face new challenges and middle school is just the beginning, always remember who you are and who's you are. That evening he shared the treasures of his day –he told me his day was very enjoyable. This morning he could not wait to go to school. I too am praying for good, solid, positive relationships for him- which I know in time, will come.

I plan on doing something fun this weekend to allow him to ease back into the routine of school, homework, etc.

Good luck!

A little about me:

I am happily married 17 years in November- Mother of a rambunctious eleven year old son whom I love very much.

You are on the right track by praying with her over it. The biggest thing in my opinion is to try and instill in her the fact that she is precious and no other person can make her do something she doesn't want. Also let her know that no matter what, she can talk to you. Kids begin to see and hear things in middle school that they most likely have been sheltered from up to this point. It's important to keep the lines of communication open and nuture them through it but not do it for them. I hope this helps!
K.
www.balterbaby.com

Going to Middle School is a tough transition! Bless her heart (and yours)

We gave our neighbor girl this book and SHE said it brought her some comfort. Below please find a synopsis of the book. I hope this is helpful...

'A Smart Girl’s Guide to Starting Middle School"
illustrated by Angela Martini by Julie Williams
Middle school is all about change. This book, filled with tips and quizzes, will help girls feel more confident as they anticipate and adjust to the changes of middle school. Includes insights and information on what to expect, plus advice from other smart girls who’ve already made the grade in middle school.

96 pages 5.5" W x 9.5" H x 0.375" D
Ages 10 and up

Book Format QTY.

PB 978-1-58485-877-5 $9.95

Did the new school have an open house where you can go visit the school? My 14 year old started high school this year. She was actually looking forward to it but she was a little nervouse because after leaving middle school where you are the veterans, you have to start over being the new kids! Also the high school is very big with different wings. You may have a class in one wing and then your next class is in two wings over or on the other side of school. The school had an orientation for 9th graders last school year and then the school took all the 8th graders to visit and tour the school. Last week we went to open house and went to all her classes and then I sat down and made her take her schedule and go to all her classes on her own to make her feel comfortable.

does your daughter not have friends that are also going to the new scchool? She may just be apprehensive but once she goes, she'll be fine.

HI R.,
I am not going to be much help here, but thought I would just add that the anxiety your daughter feels may be well founded (but a good play therapist could benefit her dealing with that if you don't have another solution).

Many moms I know that homeschool do so for middle school girls and then send them back in high school because of the large degree of problematic social issues in middle school. Boys are developing at different rates, the hormones are creating issues, and the culture is not that helpful. If you have any thought to homeschooling (there are lots of social networks, you would not be alone), now might be a good time to consider it. When I homeschooled my K and 1 grade (now they are in school), I was amazed at the 11-14 year old girls, how well mannered, well adjusted, look you in the eye, have a great conversation with you type girls they were. They cared for the younger, laughed with each other, conversed with the adults with none of the negatives I usually see with teenage girls. Now, I was not at home with them, so I am sure it was still there, but it was a drastic difference of how relaxed and confident they were.

Just a thought for you, J.

Both of my kids are home-schooled. One is a senior this year the other a freshman!! We have a very strong home school community in our area. My kids have taken Chemistry classes from a college professor, Interior Design from a professional interior designer, just to name a few of MANY!! There are even home school sports, we have done tall flags, drum line and golf. My kids are definitely not unsocialized. People that say home schoolers are, have been uniformed.
My very good friend just pulled her daughter out of a bad bully situation last school year and put her daughter in the same home school group. Her daughter is now happy, excited about the next school year and has great friends that are also home schooled. It was a very healthy move for her. I wish my Mom had this option when I was a teen.
The biggest thing is keep praying and be willing to do anything!
Public school is not all bad. It is just not the right fit for every child. You know her best, I honestly never thought I would be home schooling but I feel it is where God led us.

Have you even looked into homeschooling in your area? I know you've already got some feedback saying "don't" but for those who know nothing about homeschooling they have no idea what they are talking about.
There is usually a huge network of people that homeschool and more activities to do with other kids than you could even possibly do.
My kids are doing great! We are in the lower grades but we are done by noon, they are involved with lots of other kids and as far as raising your kid with God in there lives, there is nothing better.
Just thought a view from a homeschooling mom might help. Middle school years are hard. I don't think it would hurt to explore your options in your area just incase she really wants to do it.
Good luck!

Dear R.,

Just keep walking it out with your daughter and don't homeschool unless down the road, middle school is detrimental to your daughter. To quit now, however, would never teach your daughter that she can indeed live without you and that she can actually do middle school. It's part of growing up...doing new things that scare us to pieces, and then seeing that the fears were not warranted and God did indeed supply all of our needs and be our strength and take care of us, as we were forced to trust Him with something.

Hang in there, and look forward to rejoicing in her growth and new friends, etc. at the end of the year!

L.
A little about me...Happily married, mom of three children and stepmom of four children and two stepgrandchildren. Six call me mom.

You begin Thanking God for allowing your daughter to have succeeded in elementary school and now going to MiddleSchool. Thank God for the great teachers she will have and for the new friendships she will make. Try to get her to pray the same prayer morning and night. Once she is there the wrinkles will come out and you just continue Blessing God every day for your wonderful daughter and her opportunities. V.

Listen to her real good, help her write down her feelings about going to middle school and afterwards approch each worry . do not try to sell her on the idea, let her resolve ecah one with your help. Get involved by letting her see you around school before or after school and start having get together with her and some potential friends or start attending middle school sports events together. encourage her to get into drama classes or art or music or band. Good luck, this is a very difficult transition for this age grp