Sleep Deprived New Mom Needs Help on How to Get a 6Wk Old to Sleep at Night.

Updated on May 13, 2009
L.L. asks from Falls Church, VA
35 answers

Hi,

My daughter is 6wks old and is not sleeping well at night. She was sleeping for one 5 hour period each night when she was a few weeks old, but now she is waking about every hour. I'm lucky if I get one 3 hour stretch each night. She is either fussy or very pleasant, just wide awake. She sleeps absolutely fine during the day. I'm not sure what has changed to make her wake so often. We swaddle her at night and she is breaking free of her swaddle which is another concern. She is also exclusively breastfed. I know I should be napping as much as possible during the day, but I don't want to spend my entire day sleeping!

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

The newborn thing is really rough. It's definitely my least favorite part of having a baby. When I had my second one I just kept saying to myself "just get through the first year!!" Anyway, try the carseat. My daughter slept in her infant carseat next to my bed for the first few months of her life. Worked about as well as anything. Good luck, and remember, she'll be in preschool before you know it!

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

L.,
I had great success with the book On Becoming Babywise, one of the author's names is Ezzo.
Best of luck!

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D.C.

answers from Richmond on

Welcome to the world of newborns/babies! :-) You can't "make" one so small/young sleep. Just hang in there and know that someday you'll sleep again......There's nothing wrong with her or her sleep patterns right now. She's just a baby....

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F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

Sorry, babies need to eat several times a night at this age, especially breastfed babies. Please do not listen to the response that say your baby only needs to be fed once a night at 6 wks, that dangerous. Please don't drop night feedings before 4 months without talking to your doctor. Also, you can work on adjusting your baby to day night to help lengthen some of those periods. During the day, make sure to try to keep your baby awake a little before feeding, so that she gets tired out. Also, when she sleeps during the day, leave the window shades open, don't use artificial light (it's bad for their eyes when they sleep), but allow sunlight to come in. Then at night, keep it as dark as possible and try to limit "playing". When my son was this age, I would use a dimmer lamp in his room, so it was just enough light for me to see to change him, then I nursed in complete darkness and put him back down. The more exaggerated you can be with light/dark, day/night the quicker the baby will respond. Remember in the womb, she slept while you moved around all day, then awoke when you slept at night, so she's backwards in the light cycle. Good luck!!

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K.C.

answers from Dover on

At about 6 wks is when I started putting my baby in my bed with me to nurse. I was very aware of her at first but after awhile she would just latch on and we would go to sleep. I never thought I would co-sleep but it was so much easier and I actually got some sleep that way. I just made sure she was in her own bed by 6 months old. She is 9 months and still wakes up 1 or 2 times at night. You just adjust to less sleep. Hang in there.

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

We used the SwaddleMe blankets from Kiddopotamus. If you haven't tried them I would highly recommend it. When our daughter was that age, up until she could role over, we used these wraps because we found that she was waking herself up through her involuntary movements (I hope I'm making sense :) Anyway, the swaddler has velcro which keeps the infant wrapped more securely- with swaddle blankets she would break free in minutes. Our little one would zonk right out as soon as she was in her SwaddleMe and stay asleep for hours. Without the swaddler, we were lucky to get 1-2 hours. Good luck.

http://www.kiddopotamus.com/p_swad.php

http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=s...

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E.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi,
Your daughter should be able to go at least 4-5 hours without feeding at this age if she is gaining weight appropriately. Although, this may be her 6 week growth spurt, which means she will need to eat more frequently. My son was terrible about getting out of his swaddle. The only swaddler that worked was the miracle blanket. It was the best investment I made. He could get out of the velcro swaddlers. The miracle blanket is about as close to a baby straight-jacket you can find. He would wake himself up with his jerky movements. I think if you get that swaddler, you will be pleasantly surprised.

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

L.,
I know how tired you are, and you probably don't want to hear this, but you'll be tired for a while. Babies change their sleep patterns often before finally settling in for longer stretches at night around 4 months. My daughter never liked to be swaddled, so we didn't do that for long (maybe 2-3 weeks at most). So, you can try not swaddling her and see if that helps. There is a growth spurt at 6 weeks, 8 weeks and 12 weeks, so this could be causing her to wake more and want to eat more. You should definitely nap during the day, although it isn't fun now, it will help you in the long run if you can get more sleep. Make sure you are feeding her every 2-3 hours during the day and on demand at night. This soon will pass, hang in there!

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T.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi L.,

My little one caught a bad cold at around 6 weeks, she had terrible post nasal drip which caused her to gag when she laid down. Our doctor recommended we allow her to sleep in her swing in a reclined position that would provide just enough elevation. We put her in the swing that night, right next to our bed...viola not only did she not gag....she...who had been getting up every hour to two hours since birth...SLEPT for 8 hours. I panicked when I woke up because she hadn't gotten up all night but she was perfectly content swinging away. And you know what....I slept much more sound as well, I was always very terrified of SIDS, I was afraid Maddie would roll over or get tangled in the blanket, or even scoot down under the blanket and suffocate. Well I didn't have that fear with the swing. We swaddled her and placed her in the swing, she would be lulled to sleep in a matter of minutes. Maddie spent the first 6 months in the swing at night before moving to her co-sleeper for 6 months, and then her crib in her own room at 12 months. (I know that seems like a long time...like I said, I was a worrier, it took us 12 years to have a successful pregnancy...I wasn't taking any chances, truth be told I would have kept her in our room forever..lol...I loved the sound of her baby snore.) Try the swing, see if you have the same luck that we did. Maddie's been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks old. Good Luck!!

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S.W.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi L.,

Good for you for nursing your baby!!! Do you sleep with her? I find that helps out TREMENDOUSLY, you just need to roll over to nurse then roll back over to sleep, at least that is how I survived. That and you really must try to follow that 'age old' advice of sleep when the baby does, this is survival mode time :) She will grow out of this waking up so much phase and into some other one. In the meantime you HAVE to take care of yourself too.

Hang in there!!
S.

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D.M.

answers from Richmond on

I went through the same thing. Try to keep her up more during the day I know it might be hard cause she wants to sleep and so do you, if she is that tired during the day just let her sleep and you should get a couple naps in to. The first few months are going to be hard and sorry to say but right now shes probably going to keep you up until 4am. Eventually she will get the hang of it and start staying up in the day and going to sleep at night, she just has to adjust to her new environment. My daughter is 6 months now and is finally giving me 6-8 hours a sleep at night. Start When your daughter is 3-6 months old and when she gets tired at night or its around your bed time make sure you gave her a bath, fed her you know the usual stuff to get ready for bed then leave her in her crib by herself and tell her goodnight, make sure her surroundings are quiet and then leave the room. Shes going to cry but eventually she will stop and fall asleep, if she keeps crying for a long time go back in her room and reasure her that you are still around. Crying herself to sleep is a good solution, it will make her more independent and you will eventually get your sleep. Its working for me!!!

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

My dear Mommie:

Keep her awake more during the day!

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Your baby has her nights and days mixed up. It takes about three months to get a baby onto a regular scedule. You will have to try to keep her awake in the day more and don't cater to her wanting you at night. She should only need one feeding during the night. You may have to let her fuss herself back to sleep at night. You need your sleep so be consistent to getting her on scedule. AF

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi. My daughter used to do the same thing. I would start her out in her room. Then when she woke up, I would take her into the living room with the tv on QVC, on low - no commercials/violence. I would hold her while on the sofa making sure that her head was against the back of the sofa so that she couldn't fall. That went on for about 2 weeks. Then all of a sudden she started waking up less and then would sleep all of the way through the night. Took about a month total to get her on schedule.
M.

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B.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Well from my experience I would eat a very heavy mealwhich in turn is like her eating something heavy...It helped quite a bit. And also try to keep her awake a little longer during the day to encourage her w/understanding the difference between day/night. If all else fails take joy in the moments b/c they won't last forever...soon you will be back to your reality and miss all those snuggly moments with her that were sometimes unpleasant but worth it all the while!

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

L.:

I'm sorry I didn't respond yesterday. You are not alone.

you need to ask for help. Ask your husband to wake up with your daughter so you can get sleep. Since you are breast feeding - lack of sleep and stress will directly contribute to a decrease in milk supply.

You can do things with your daughter - even at 6 weeks to keep her a little more awake during the day so she may sleep longer at night.

Waking up every hour is not normal - at least for mine it wasn't - my youngest had inner ear problems until we had tubes put in his ears at one year. Then he was the sweetest baby!

Talk with your pediatrician. See if there's a medical reason for her to wake every hour.

If you have family nearby - see if someone come in during the day to care for her for a three hour stretch so that you can sleep, shop, get a manicure, pedicure, etc. Just because you are a mom doesn't mean you still aren't you. You MUST take care of you too!

I hope this helps. Please know you are not alone. But you MUST take care of you!

God Bless!

Cheryl

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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Do not let your baby sleep all day. Slowly incorporate your schedule onto her schedule. you will find that your baby will start to sleep longer at night. Of course a few naps per day is normal for a 6-week. the goal is for your baby to be on a regular schedule by the time you return to work or within 6 weeks. your baby being on a schedule will also be a nice touch for your husband since so far he has been "deprived."

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T.C.

answers from Washington DC on

if she isn't crying, i'd leave her -- she may fall back to sleep, but not if you pick her up or check on her. being exclusively breastfed means she'll probably have to feed more often, like maybe every 3 - 4 hours, but not every hour. could be she's going through some major learning and is processing it at night, which is why she's waking up, but if she's not crying, i'd leave her.

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R.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Probably her 6 week growth spurt. Please don't try to feed her solid foods to make her sleep. Unfortunately, it's really common for babies to not sleep through the night for a very long time. I have no real advice except to nap as much as possible.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It took quite awhile for my son to get his days and nights sorted out. When you are pregnant, and moving around during the day, the baby is lulled to sleep. When you're trying to sleep at night, the baby wakes up and the kicking and squirming make it hard for you to settle down. This carries over after they are born. My son wanted to snooze all day, and party all night. I found he just didn't like the swaddling after the first few weeks. You might want to try a Halo SleepSack Wearable Blanket (you can find them all over the internet). It's a very safe way to cover a baby without loose blankets which might accidentally cover her head. With only one child, I never quite got the hang of sleeping when the baby sleeps, but I should have - I was an absolute zombie trying to do too much. Also, breast feeding can be quite exhausting, so get rest whenever you can. Make sure you drink lots of water. If baby is not getting enough milk (or falling asleep before she adequately fills up), she'll wake up hungry after a short period. I use to have to strip my son down to his diaper to keep him awake long enough to get a good feeding in him. If you have relatives nearby, maybe Grandma can tend the baby for a few hours during the day or evening so you can get a little more solid sleep.

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M.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a 6 week old too, my third, and I think this time around I'm finally getting sleep. I read Tracy Hoggs Baby Whisperer, one of the points she makes it that you have to give up long daytime sleep to get nighttime sleep. So I don't let my baby sleep longer than 3 hours at a time during the day, and I encourage a lot of awake time especially in the hours before bed. It is hard if I am out running errands, so it keeps me home, but it is worth the sleep at night. Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi L.,

Looks like you've gotten lots of advice already! We've used "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth as our sleep "Bible" for both our kids. I strongly recommend it--lots of good advice and testimonials and lots of Q&A where you can look up whatever your problem is and get some help. He gives you lots of options depending on how much crying you want to deal with, which I really appreciated. We got this when my first child was 4 months old (after a friend recommended it), and I still pull it out to make sure we're on track with both kids (older is now 3-1/2 and baby is 10 months). Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi L.,

It sounds like your baby may be going through a growth spurt. Is she gaining weight well? Is she having at least 4 good stools a day and at least 6 wet diapers? If she is having plenty of good wet and dirty diapers she is probably having a growth spurt.Babies go through a growth spurt between 3-6 weeks of age. During that time they usually nurse alot especially at night. They do this for several days up to a week and then things settle down again. The best thing you can do is keep doing what you are doing...the more you nurse her the more milk you will make. The quiet alert time at night ...if you keep the lights dim and let her know it is time to eat and go back to sleep...kind of keep it back to business or just enjoy that time with her happy and awake and take a nap during the day. It will get better. Have you thought about joining a breastfeeding support group? There are several in the area. La Leche League and some of the local hospitals offer them. You are not alone in the growth spurt situation...but it is comforting to meet other moms who are going through the same thing. Hang in there you will be back to your 5 hour stretches in no time at all! However she will go in and out of these growth spurts at different intervals throughout this first year. It gets better...I think your baby is telling you she is growing and now ready to communicate more with you. Is she starting to coo yet?

Take care

K.

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Y.L.

answers from Richmond on

Who told you a 6 week old should be sleeping well at night? Up to about 6 months old most babies still need to nurse 1-2 times per night. A 3 hour stretch is good at 6 weeks old for a breastfed baby. I know that's not what you want to hear but that's the truth. And some babies just don't like being swaddled. My boys never liked it. Do you co-sleep? That might help her sleep a little longer or at least have her crib next to your bed so she knows you are there.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hello some times you just have to sleep and couple of hours during the day when the baby is sleeping it will help you at night! I would swaddle the thing the holds the baby still so they cant roll it looks like tubes on either side and cloth in the middle! that may help then baby out to feel more swaddled at nite!! my daughter didnt sleep through the night till she way almost 3 months old! Some times it take time!! I understand you want them to sleep it will get better! My son was sleeping through the nite at 3 weeks old so was luck with him! You can try to pump in the day time and see if you can give them a bigger feeding to feed her before bed! that way help!

Hope this will help!

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

All 3 of my kids were very different in their sleep patterns, but none of them slept through the night until later, the youngest was 7 months. Other people are lucky and their babies sleep through the night early on, but I don't think that is the norm. Have you tried letting her co-sleep with you? My husband and I kept all of our babies in the bed with us for at least 2 months, the fact that they were exclusively breast fed also made that easier on everyone. I was able to feed them and for the most part stay asleep. Maybe try that. But don't get too frusterated. This is not abnormal :). Good luck and enjoy your baby!

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M.S.

answers from Roanoke on

She might have her days and nights mixed up. I would try and keep her awake more during the day so she sleeps better at night.

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B.W.

answers from Norfolk on

Have you looked at the book BabyWise? It will help you so much about scheduling your newborn and helping her to sleep through the night. I recommend it HIGHLY! Until you get it, the gist of it is feeding your daughter on a schedule of every 2 1/2 to 3 hours smoosh and patterning it like this: feed, awake time, sleep, feed, awake, sleep time. Some times your daughter may cluster feed in the evenings... but it sounds like she is cluster feeding in the middle of the night. YOu need to get that switched around by scheduling her more.

At 6 weeks old, she doesn't need to be swaddled any more. The swaddling may actually be waking her up. So, lay her on her back and make sure she is warm enough, but don't restrict her arms down any more. That will aggravate her at this point. Babywise helps with getting a young baby to sleep through the night. It was helpful to me. And although I didn't get my little girl to sleep through the night at 8 weeks... I was able to get 6 hours straight by about 8 -10 weeks and then by 16 weeks, I had her down for about 9 hours a night. That was totally fine for me for a while. Now my little one, 11 months old, sleeps 11 hours a night. it is awesome.

Hope this helps.

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A.E.

answers from Washington DC on

I have 3 children and each of them has been very different. I remember from my second how hard it is when you don't get your sleep and how this affects your ability to enjoy life and your new baby. I recommend 2 books to you
The baby whisperer by Tracy Hogg
The contented Little baby book by Gina Ford
The first I used with my second she was colicy and fussy and the second I used with my first- both worked butthe success depends on whether the book suits you
My third baby was a dream so didn't feel the need to refer to the books
Good luck

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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes babies need to eat during the night when they are that young. Sounds like she has her days/night mixed up. To help her recgonize day vs. night, have her stimulated during the day while feeding her (tv, music etc.) but at night when it is time to feed, lay her down with you and feed that way. You probably only need a night light to make sure she is latched on. You dont want to stimulate her at all. After she is done feeding lay her right back down, even if she is awake. If you hold her b/c she is awake, she will think that this is normal and continue in her ways. I did everything I said above with my daughter last year and by eight weeks she was sleeping thru the night. Hope this helps.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

L. - How much does she sleep during the day? If she is sleeping a lot more during the day she may have her days and nights mixed up. I am sorry I didn't have this issue so I am not sure how to correct if that's whats going on. Maybe one of the books suggested below may help with that.

Other things to consider:
Is it extremely quiet in the area she sleeps at night? How does it compare to the daytime noises? For many young babies if its too quiet they can't sleep because they are still used to all of the sounds they heard in your womb. You may consider using a noisy fan or a white noise machine. If she is fussy, is it possible that she is feeling gassy? Have you tried mylicon (sp?) or giving her some time on her tummy before you put her down for sleep? If you do find that she is feeling more gassy at night - reconsider the foods that you are eating for lunch and dinner and see if there is anything that might cause gas. One of my friends' daughter was waking up every night around 2am and she found out later that her daughter was allergic to dairy so my friend cut out all dairy from her diet until she weaned her completely and then her daughter eventually outgrew her allergy too.

Just a few ideas to help you through this rough period...hope it helps.

Good luck!
M.

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N.T.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi L.!

Congratulations on your baby girl! I think your daughter might be going through a growth spurt at 6 weeks old. She may need feeding every 1-2 hours for few days then resume her feeding every 3-4 hours. I think a bedtime routine started around this time also helps to make the little one sleep better/longer. But dont expect a full night sleep for some more months... Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

There may be a couple of reasons for this:
1. She is a newborn and this is completley normal (welcome to motherhood) babies do not sleep in circadian rhythm until about 4-6 months of age.

*what you can do- nothing just wait it out, it wont last forever, know that in a year she will be walking and sleeping alot more (how much sleep, who knows but more is better) she will be older before you know it enjoy her cuteness and smallness while you can. I know, I have two daughters one 4 weeks and one 20 months, I am enjoying my second a whole lot more because I know how fast it goes.

2. Since you are breastfeeding she is probably going through a growth spurt and needs to suck on your breast (all the time) which increases your milk supply.

*what you can do about it - keep her up as much as possible during the daytime, keep the lights on while she sleeps, don't let her sleep more than 2 hours without waking her up. She can go back to sleep, but wake her up and break the sleep cycle. Then at night breastfeed as much as possible, the key is to fill her up like a thanksgiving meal before she goes to sleep. Keep her sleeping upright, you can buy things she can sleep on to keep her at a slant.
Or you can sleep with her in your bed, buy a co-sleeper or just have her sleep next to you, just be really safe, dont sleep with blankets on you and keep your pillow away from her head and face and get a gaurdrail for your bed. Check out co-sleeping online, I slept with both of my daughters it works great!!

3. She has colic and digestive issues, newborns have very sensitve digestive systems.
*what you can do - massage her rectum area, give a warm bath and massage her belly area gently to stimulate poops and toots! Her gas causes her pain so help her.

4. she is adjusting to life outside the womb (a womb wich was tempature regulated and cozy and safe and not so noisy.

5. it is somthing you are eating that is causing her to be a bit gassy.
Figure out what it is if you want to take the time and elimanate it from your diet.

Last,
just enjoy the time you have with her, and know this wont last forever, it gets better, (way better) with time.
Have fun!

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L.Z.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi L.,
What a pretty name. I would try a swing, but only when really needed. And when she is in the swing I would use a wrapped blanket or something and make sure her head is straight and not tilted. Also try keeping it dark when you want her awake and keep a little light on her when you want her to sleep. Her eyes are sensitive and will close when the light is on her. She will probably pick a comforting device of choice. Each of my kids choose something different. A soft fluffy blanket (we have four) for one, a binky for another (we tie ours to a bandana, to help find it), a receiving blanket for my youngest daughter (10 mnths, thank god we have lots of those and I think she like the smell of us on it. And try the same music when you want her to sleep, Mobiles really don't work (esp. in the dark), try one of those fish aquariums that attach to the side of the crib, all mine love those and fall alseep on que., when it is played. Good luck and keep up the great work, don't wory it doesn't last very long. You can do it!!

L.

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A.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Sorry to say it, but that's pretty typical newborn sleep pattern. The earliest that a little one will sleep for a long stretch is 4 mos. and the earliest they get on a regular napping schedule is 6 months. Welcome to the club of the sleep deprived mom! It will pass by quickly, don't worry and these days will all seem like a distant memory. Do you have anyone who can help with feeding or care in the middle of the night? Also, please take to heart the advice to "nap when your baby naps"--it really might seem silly as an adult to nap during the day, but with all the sleep you are missing at night you need it. Especially since you are breastfeeding too--this requires extra rest and hydration to keep up your supply. So don't feel guilty about it at all!! Another thought--have you tried co-sleeping? We used a co-sleeper which fits right next to your bed and makes it so easy to pull the baby into the bed in the middle of the night and nurse. This cuts down on the number of times you have to get out of your bed (even to go across the room to a bassinet or into another room). Co-sleeping really is a lifesaver. I don't know how I would have survived w/o it for the first few months. Good luck! -A., mom to a 19 month old, who can only vaguely remember the first few months of constant nursing and little sleep! :-)

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