Quiting Work

you sound just like me 5 years ago......i worked at a bank for 8 years. I had a very good position and loved my job except for the fact that i had to leave my son. At the time my son was 3 and I was expecting my second son. I weighed my pros and cons and realized it would be best if I quit. I have been home now for 5 years and 5 months and love every min of it. I do in home day care and have been making a pretty decent income off of it. If you have the patience with working with other peoples children then I would give it a try. I haven't missed anything when it comes to my kids, I am at every soccer game....every football game.....every boyscout meeting and I don't have to worry about making sure I get my goals met or if my babysitter will show up on time or at all. It was the best decision I made.

If you can STAY HOME! There are so many wonderful things that you are going to get see your child do and you're going to love every minute of it. I know that if I was able to, I would have. Don't refuse it. This is a blessing. Not every mother can afford to stay home with their children. Take this chance and run with it. You will be glad that you did.

I had also worked all my life when I had my child. I had my first child when I was 40. My husband wanted me to stay home with the baby, as did I. I have never regreted that decision. My child is now 3 years old and I work 14 hours a week at a part time job.

I say if you can afford to stay home, go for it especially if you are unhappy at your job.

Enjoy your baby while he is still a baby. You won't regret it.

L.

If you can afford to stay home, do so. I know that is is hard to leave work (i thought I would go crazy) but it is so worth it. I work after my first and second were born but I got the chance to stay home with my third. It is amazing.

You don't want to miss out on all the wonderful things with your baby and you don't want to come home from work frustrated and angry, to hear your baby fuss or cry, it may make your attitude worse.

Talk to your boss. Maybe let them know what your are feeling... If there is no compassion, then I say drop the job. It isn't worth being upset all the time and missing out on all the great things being a mother offers.

If you need a job get a part time on somewhere, doing something you enjoy and don't have to worry about when you are at home.

It will a little crazy at first but as time passes you will see that no matter what choice you make it will get easier!!!

Hi S.:
I'm back to work too soon as well (came back part-time at 5 weeks, full-time at 7 weeks) and it was a tough transition. I had the same problem...things were different when I came back. A lot of fires to put out and people thinking they could do my job b/c they took some of my responsibility for a few weeks. But now, after 2 months, things have calmed down. So my advice is to wait a few weeks until you're getting more sleep and your hormones have leveled out a bit and things work themselves out on the job, then decide what you should do....keeping your eyes on the classified ads at all times!
Personally, I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom. It's too hard! :) I think working makes me a better mom because I value the time with my daughter so much. Granted, I'm fortunate b/c my husband stays home so I don't need to worry about day care. If I had the option to work part-time, I would so I could spend more time at home...but I too have worked a job since I was 15 and I just can't give that up entirely. I'd go crazy! It's a personal decision for everyone, one that you need to weigh all the variables carefully -- your personality, your career, your priorities. Don't be guilt tripped into staying home with the baby if that's not right for you. Unhappy moms are not good moms. But if things don't work out at work, do find a position that makes it worthwhile to leave your baby! Good luck!

Dont confuse history with obligation. you have worked a lot in the past yes, that is all you know, but you shouldnt have to work just because you feel that obligation to do so. maybe you could do part time or try talking to boss first before you quit, just remeber you have options!! believe me if you do stay at home, you can still work plus, you will find there are sooo many things to do and you are not limited to your home, you can go anywhere, i am a work at home mom and I babysit 2 other children it is great. think about it!

If you can get by on once income, I'd quit. Enjoy this time of your child's life because they grow up quickly and eventually will be in school all day, etc. There is plenty of time for working, and maybe a job out there you'd like better. I am working like 9 hours a week, and before I had my baby I was used to working full time and supporting myself for years, etc, so it was weird to not be making my own money or the money I used to, but I decided not to return to working full time and honestly I am happy I made that decision.

wow your situation was very similar to mine. I do not know if you have any "friends" at your job, if you do ask them what is really going on. If you don't stay strong for a little while longer and do the best you can until you can find a better job.
You only been back a week so you have to give yourself time to get back to your routine of things. I do not know how long you have been working at this particular job, but if all they do is bad mouth people and gossip, best you find another job. Maybe a part time job can work for you too. I am in the process of looking for one myself beacuse there is nothing like making your own money!! that way you can spend more time with your baby and make some money at the same time. let me know how everything goes and try not to show people at work your true emotions they sound like they might use it against you. Wish you the best!!!

I see that you quit your job and I don't know if you are doing any work from home, but if you are interested, I am an Avon representative, and I LOVE it. My website is www.youravon.com/akrutko and If you have ever thought of becoming an Avon representative it only cost $10.00 ! Your first four campaigns you make 50% commission! Think of the things you can get for your family with that.

If you are interested...go to www.start.youravon.com

my passcode is : akrutko

You will be on your way to earning $$ and making new friends!

S.,
If you have a supportive husband that encourages you to quit work, then take that advice and RUN!
You will find that staying at home offers more rewards than any pay check. There is also a huge support system within stay at home moms, it's just a matter of finding them.
Your daughter is the most important "job" you will ever have. You will never get the time back that you have spent at work. Relieve your stress, find your strength, and make your life much happier...consider staying-at- home.
Best of luck!

Hi S.,
I'm with the other moms! I have been a SAHM for 21 years.
Left a HIGH paying job to do it. At first yes, I felt like I wasn't doing anything significant. Fortunately, we didn't struggle financially on my husbands salary. It was the BEST thing I could have done for my family. Your son will be off to college so much sooner than you can ever realize. Take the opportunity to enjoy him and future children to the fullest. There are so many volunteer opportunities for SAHM. When your son gets to school, get involved there. Being at school parties or a teachers aide are some of the most rewarding things you get to do as SAHM. PTO's have tons of things going on that need SAHMs to help. Your child will see your involvement and will know that you are there because you love him. Get involved in a community service group.
When the kids get ready to go off to college and you need to go back to work, you will still have lots of experiences to put on a resume (you just weren't paid for them). That's where I am now and I am working back at my kid's elementary school. I have so much to offer my employer based on the volunteer experience I had while a SAHM plus they already know my work ethic!
Good Luck! You may struggle feeling like you are not contributing to the family but believe me there is nothing more important you can contribute to your family right now than time and availability. If your husband gives you this gift take it and appreciate him for giving it!
Enjoy your time as a MoM! K.

I agree with some of these moms. Having experienced some of this myself when I had my son (I have since moved on to another company) - you tend to get too stressed out over what you deal with at work and then you sometimes bring it home to cause more tension at home. While that is not the intent - you just have it as a burden. I had to deal with a lot of the negative things that were done to me because I WAS female. That didn't add to the mix too well either. Luckily my boss wasn't like that.

I think the question is, as someone stated, is do you really have to work? If so, do you have to work full-time; i.e. can you do part time work? Maybe take in another child or two to earn a little extra income.

Another thing - not to "advertise" - but is to look into other businesses that have supplemental income opportunities. My husband and I do this together - for the first time in like 12 years we are actually on the same page. :-) You are welcome to check out this site and let me know if you are interested - no pressure - just offering some information. I won't even know if you looked or not.

http://www.pksolutions.ltdteam.com/guest/home.asp

A little bit about me - my husand and I live around the Dayton Mall area. We have a 16 month old son and both work full-time. We are looking to get pregnant next year ... hopefully! :-)

Good luck with what you decide! :-)
K.

Hi S.,
It is so hard to leave a baby and then for things to be worse at work makes it even more difficult. So why not earn income that you create yourself and never have the situation you're going through now? I started working from home to raise our son and have no regrets. If you're interested, check out www.theglobalsuccessteam.com and watch the business presentation. I'll be glad to answer questions if you're interested.

In all honesty, 6 weeks leave is not enough for maternity leave. You're still so tired and emotional and I don't beleive anyone is ready to jump back into work. I was lucky enough to take off 6 months and now i work full time and finished school. If your husband has the means and money to be able to support you and your child without you working , then do it! You will bond with your child , you will also recooperate a lot better with being at home. Trust me, you'll get the itch to return to work in a while, but I think every mom should be able to stay home for the first few months. Maybe pick up a part time weekend job serving, or at a coffee shop.

hmm . . . i think i would try to talk to my boss/supervisor/whomever first. tell them about the negative things that were said, and explain that you feel there are some very unrealistic expectations for you. ask if there is someone who can help you out, as while you were on leave no one bothered to take care of the things you used to do.

as far as quitting work . . . i worked from the time i was 13 (am 25) now, and going from full time work, to full time mom was hard. i now work 3-4 days a week. eventually i ewould like to cut back more. if its hard or uncomfortable for you to just quit, maybe you can slowly cut back. that would also give your employer some time to find & train someone to take your place.

good luck, hope it goes well for you!

I understand. Family is the most important thing in life! You shouldn't have to compromise!!! Have you thought about running a business out of your home? Here are the two I run and if you are interested I would love to help!

www.richmont.net/angelightsgifts

http://www.themomteam.com/cgi-bin/mom.cgi?id=an502795&amp...

It's so hard to leave your baby, especially at only 7 weeks old, and then to have issues at work, too? That would be so hard. I agree with the other moms that ask if you absolutely have to work to get by. My husband and I both worked full time until I had my daughter, and now I just work part time, a few days a month. This works out well for us because we never have to pay for daycare. One of us is always home to take care of our daughter. I don't have the worry or expense of daycare, and I get to spend a lot of quality time with her watching her grow up. She changes so fast, and even though I see her every day, I feel like she is changing right before my eyes. It was a huge change for me to go to part time, but I love it and wouldn't change it for anything. I never thought I would like being a (mostly) stay at home mom, but I love it. We also weren't sure how it would work out financially, because we never seemed to have a lot extra at the end of the month, but we just watch what we spend, cut a little here or there, and it's worked out just fine. You can never get back these days when your children are young, and you can always work. In fact, you can go back to work full time when your kids are in school if that is what you want to do. If your current job doesn't allow you to work full time, maybe you could work somewhere else part time to allow you to be home with your son more.

Remember, raising your kids is the most important job you will ever have. It's the one job that no one else but you can do. Any other job out there can wait a few years. Trust me, when your son turns one, and you look back and wonder how that year could have possibly gone so quickly, you won't regret it.

If you are worried that you will be bored or feel like you need more interaction with adults, you could always volunteer, get together with friends or other moms on a regular basis, go to the park, go for walks with a friend, get in a Bible study or other group that meets regularly, do play dates, get a hobby (scrapbooking his pictures, crafts, sewing, photography, beadwork), organize your house, actually cook that meal you've been wanting to do forever, or a number of other things to keep yourself busy. I admit that sometimes I go to the mall or the park just to get out of the house, but I don't mind, because I'm getting something done in the process (errands, walking the dog).

Just think about what is really the most important to you, and then find a way to make it happen. It sounds like you have a very supportive husband, which is wonderful. Best wishes.

It's a wonderful opportunity to get to stay home with your baby. But, too much time without adult interaction can drive you bonkers. Just makes sure to get involved in playgroups, meet other stay at home moms, or get a hobby. Another option is to change to a part time job that you like more.

S.,
First, staying at home with a baby full time was more work for me than when I worked a 52 hour a week management job, so don't think you'll be bored! I was so thankful that I made that "sacrifice" ( which is actually a blessing) because I realized how many little milestones that happen that I never would have witnessed had I left my daughter - and the later, my son, in daycare, and I would have even known I had missed them. I don't regret staying home to take care of my kids and knowing that no one could care for or love my children better than I do, made it an easy step to take. Do you really want someone else to spend all that precious time with your newborn? You'll never get that time back, so relish the experience now.

Having just had a baby, your emotions are going all over the place and you probably feel pulled in all directions. You might want to find a few moments to yourself (yeah right!) and write down everything that is going through your head about working vs. staying at home. Pro's and Con's type thing. That might help put things in perspective. Ask your husband to help contribute to the list too!

I worked hard for 14 yrs and left after I had my son. It was hard, but I've never regretted it. OK, maybe sometimes! Now, a few years later, I am applying for jobs because it feels right.

I wish you well.
B.

first question i guess i have is do you actually want to work or do you just feel that you have to becuase that is what you have always done? becuse if you don't want to be there then really, it can be just as if not more fullfilling to stay home. I've done both and I am now a home daycare provider, it gives me a sence of financial independance and lets me stay home with teh kids, we have 5. it's hard to stay home, so much of your identity can come from what you do for a living and if it's a rewarding career or something that makes you happy it can be very hard to want to stay home, but if it's not, if it's just making you unhappy then maybe it's time to find something new to do, be it you stay home or you find another job somewhere more to your liking. you have more demands on your time now and different expectations outside of work and juggling both can be harer and it's even harder if you aren't happy. not all moms can stay home and it doesn't make you a bad mom if you can't, i worked for 6 years after my kids because i never thought i could do this and not lose myself. but you have to be doing something that makes you happy otherwise you aren't any good to yourself or to your husband and new baby. good luck with whatever you decide. take care. Kari

I have four kids and worked full time till I had our third, I quit while I was pregnant with her and now I know how much I missed with our first two I would not trade staying at home now for anything but before I quit I worked full time sometimes two jobs since I was around 15 it was a little tough to adjust but I would not trade this time with my kids for anything and I have the rest of my life after they are older to work full time.

Make sure you get involved in Preschool PTA and any other activities you can find. I went from working two full-time jobs and going to school full-time to being an at-home-mom and for the first few years I was so depressed that my life had gone to being all about naptimes, feeding times, and getting the bathroom clean. Find other at-home moms to connect with. It really is a joy once you are able to let go of the outside job and embrace being with your children. Good Luck