Pooping in the Potty

Updated on June 29, 2008
L.U. asks from Davenport, IA
13 answers

How do I get my 3 year old to poop in the potty or toilet?? He has been potty trained for 3 months, but is scared to go poo in the potty chair. We have bribed him with presents, treats, etc. He won't do it, but he will tell me right after he poops his pants!

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

Hi L.! Not to disrespect some of the advice given but I would think grabbing a child, quick getting pants off and sticking them on the toilet while they were trying to poop would be a little traumatic. I agree with those who say to let it go for now. In no time he will be pooping on his own!
Good luck!

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V.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

This was a frustration for me too. I don't know if my son was afraid to poop in the toilet, but he wouldn't consistently do it either. I started making him help clean up his underwear. He hated that! He thought that was so yucky! It didn't take long at all and he went in the toilet all the time. Obviously he couldn't do the cleaning completely but it was enough to spur him on to go in the toilet and not his pants. If he is telling you right after he goes, then chances are he knows/feels when he needs to go. This worked for me. Good Luck!
V.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

L.,

I did what Candi did.... waited until he had started to go, then grabbed him, whipped off his pull-up and set him on the toilet (with his potty seat on there), then gave him TONS of praise and a new toy for pooping like a big boy. I did this twice and we were done with pooping in pull-ups. Before that, he would hold it in and ask to wear a pull-p when he had to go.

He was fully day-potty/poop trained within a week after that... we started with peeing at his 3 year birthday, I'd say it took 6 weeks total.

Jess

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A.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

This is going to sound crazy, but it works!

Week 1 (or step 1) Let your son wear his diaper to poop, but have him sit on the potty, in his diaper, while he does it. When he gets comfortable with this and has been doing it for several days move on to the next step.

Week 2 Cut a small hole in the back of the diaper. Let your son continue to wear his diaper on the potty to poop. Cut progressively larger holes in the diaper as the week progresses and as your son is comfortable with it.

Week 3 Cut a large enough hole in the diaper for the poopies to fall through into the potty.

Week 4 Pooping in the potty, no diaper! Yay!!!

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J.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Some kids are scared to poop in the potty or toilet because they feel like they are loosing a part of themselves when it flushes down the toilet. Weird I know, but I've been reading a lot of books about potty training lately ;) You may want to try having him poop in his diaper then having him watch you drop the poopy into the toilet and flush it down. It shows him that he's still ok even if the poopy goes bye-bye. I agree however with everyone who says to just let it go. The more you push, the more he'll resist. Keep trying in a relaxed way and it will come in time.

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Let go L.. This is normal. I know several children at the age of three that would not poop in their potty. Bribes don't work. Letting go will. Once he has an incentive to use the potty - a pre-school program he wants to attend or a party he wants to go to, he will start to rethink his strategy. In the meantime, patience and loving kindness is your best bet.

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C.K.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi L.,

Does he do his job about the same time everyday where you could consistently have him on the potty about that time? All it is going to take is one or two times, and he will figure out how much nicer it is. This is not an uncommon problem, so hang in there.

C.

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D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

L.; you do it with time and patience, i have 3 boys, and every one of them did not get that poopy control, until they each were 4, so be patient, and when he poops just say good boy , not lets go in the bathroom and take care of it, and sometimes i would drop their drawers and set them on the toilet and wipe thier little butts while on the toilet, to clean them, it just takes time and patience, they say there is two things we cant control with a child, thats what goes in, and what comes out, dont worry about it, seems like hes right on track, it takes em a while, continue to be a great mom full of patience, hahaahah we wait four years for them to the hang of it, and sometimes our men that are in our lives still cant pick up their dirty underwear from off the floor, just continue what you are doing and enjoy life, D. s

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is very common and what you actually need to do is just back off and give him more time. Stay positive and encouraging. My older son did this to the extent that we actually sought professional advice. The counselor told us to just give him a pull up or diaper to poop in when he needed it, calmly clean him up without reacting when he was done and then put him back in his underwear. We read books to him about pooping in the potty and told him he would do it someday. I think my husband finally succeeded by "bribing" him with a new toy he really wanted. He had just turned 4. Sometimes the more you push them the more they will resist and some of them start holding their poop (which is what my younger son did even though we didn't push him). That can be a nightmare and a situation you really want to avoid! This topic has come up before on this website and you'd be amazed at the number of kids who go through this. Good luck.

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J.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son did the same thing for over a month. Finally, he is doing both potty/poop in the potty comfortably. Here are things that helped us.
First, we discovered that he didn't want to get his potty chair dirty. So we focused on getting him to comfortably go potty on the toilet.
Second,we set M & M's by the potty and he would get 1 for trying to poop and 5 for pooping.
Third, we went shopping for some favorite character underwear (as I had bought plain undies at Walmart). He did not want to get poop his cars and mickey mouse underwear.
Fourth,I use to make him sit there and try and he hated that!! I learned to say "If you have to go potty or poopoo go in there so we don't have an accident on your cars or mickeys. I believe he felt he was in control of it and not me anymore.

Good Luck...be patient...make the biggest deal when he goes in the toilet, we'd sing a potty song I made up & dance!

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C.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi L., my daughter did the same thing, but she would ask for a diaper to poop, so frusterating, I just knew when she was about to go and told her I didnt have a diaper, and when I knew it was to late, stuck her on the toilet and she went and she got all the Candy she wanted that day(maybe not the best way but it worked) I know our daughter was afraid of it too, and for a while after she started to go in the toilet she would have to take all her clothes off, she didnt want any on her clothes.
Maybe just fallow him around for a day or so and know when he is going to go and put him on the toilet, it may take some work but I know when Ellen did it she was so proud of herself. Good luck I hope this helped.

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A.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had the same problem and my pediatrician told me to let my son sit on the potty with his diaper on and poop in his diaper. He did this several times. Then we opened up the back of his diaper but left the front covered to ease him into the strange feeling. This combined with his knowing he would get toy he really wanted upon several successful potty poops worked.

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L.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi L.,
I'm having the same problem with my son and if I even mention anything about going in the potty he'll hold it sometimes for days and when he finally goes we all seem to pay for it - he has gone in a toilet... I think almost 6 or 7 times but he always seems to revert back to the nappy because it seems the only way to make him go! So I'm curious to see the other responses! - Sorry I don't have a solution, but I thought sometimes it's nice to know you're not the only one with this problem. Cheers, L. Mom of beautiful daughter 4yr & handsome son 3yr old!

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