Picky Eater - Hollywood, FL

I have an almost 5 year old, who luckily will eventually try most things that we serve him.
It hasn't always been this way. I have to say that I disagree with the responses who say to fix him something else for dinner. This will most likely lead to him wanting "something else" every night! Kids try to "work you" if they think they can get away with it. For instance, right now my son is trying to get me to carry him out of bed this morning. He is in there whining and saying he is afraid he will fall. He gets out of bed every day with no trouble at all (until now??).
I do agree with having him be involved in the prep process. Maybe asking him what he might like for dinner sometimes or give him a choice between two things. Then, he can help make it with Daddy (which could be fun for them!).
I found a couple of kids cookbooks that have good easy meal ideas that actually look really yummy for grown-ups too! They are published by Taste of Home and have a website: www.tasteofhome.com.
Good Luck to You All!!

try to have your husband have him help him make the meal-
sometimes it goes better when they feel they made it!

also: have him try one bite for every year he is old, so 4 bites (can be tiny bites!)
then praise him for being so adventerous, etc!

I find myself giving in and making other food for my
little guy, too. he'll be 5 in july.
but I try to make foods that I know he'll like- so if it's a chicken dish, I'll take out some chicken before adding in the sauce/spice, etc. for example if I make a chicken curry, he'll get plain chicken and a veggie & rice...

some nights he just eats a hard boiled egg and some toast and a handful of almonds...we do what we can!
hang in there!

Don't feel bad, we all go through this at some time or another. My son used to be very picky and when he was a toddler up until early pre-school, I used to make him something else if I knew I he wouldn't like dinner (we eat normal food - chicken,fish...he was just being a toddler). Well, I stopped doing that because I realized that he would never eat what we're eating if I always make him something special. Now, If we have something different (mex.food/thai..) then, I would still put it on his plate but maybe a variation so he would like it better. He is 4 1/2 now and will eat pretty much anything we eat - we have always insisted that he at least try what is on his plate - last night I made sauteed zuchini and put a piece on his plate, but also put peas because I knew he would eat those - at the end of dinner, everything was gone but the zuchini - I asked that he take 1 bite and he did but didn't like it - and I said thank you for trying it. There are times when I have said to try something and he really likes it - he may still only have 1 bite, but the next time we have it he gobbles it down. You know, if they are hungry, they will eat. They will not starve by not eating 1 meal. You might try making his dinner look fun - by making it into a face or name veggies fun names. Also, my son insists on using ketchup w/meat and some veggies - as much as I hate the high fructose corn syrup, at least he's getting lycopene from the tomato and he's eating his dinner. Some of my friend's kids like ranch dressing - you know if it takes a condiment to get them to eat, then whatever. Kid's palates are actually diff. from a grownup's...
Anyway, checkout the books in the parent section of a bookstore - about cooking for kids - just to get ideas on how to make food more fun.
Also, though, he may just be trying to assert his independence - they will definitely test you at this age, to see what they can get away with.
Be strong - you're the mommy and you make the rules! (ok, along w/daddy :-) HTH

It's normal for kids to be picky. You really can't make a kid eat so I would try not to make it an issue. Give him a choice. He can eat what the family is eating or have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (or a bowl of cereal, basically, something that takes little prep work so you or your husband aren't acting like a short order cook.) He's certainly not going to starve himself. Maybe you can have a try one bite rule. If he doesn't like it, then he can have the sandwich or cereal. I'm sure you'd rather the mealtimes be relaxing family time rather than a food battleground.

I hate to tell you, but you might have to cater to what he will eat for a little while. All children go through phases where there are certain things that they will eat and they won't try anything new....my daughter is 3 yrs, 8 mos and is finally starting to at least take "one bite" of new things to "try" it, but when I cook meals I make alot of the same stuff over and over because my children like certain things................One thing that might work is when hubby is getting ready to make dinner you can involve your child in what he makes by giving him TWO choices....if your child has a little bit of decision making he might eat it? Good luck, kids are fun, huh?!?!?!? LOL!

Dear L. V.

What type of food will your son eat. Give me an idea. Creole food can be spicy I think. For a 4 yr old that is not the type of food you can expect him to eat. Be happy he eats.

Last night I would of made his a waffle or cereal just so he ate. Please don't punish him for not eating your husband's meal he prepared.

Make your son foods he loves.

Keep me posted.

Sincerely,

G. H.

This is a normal thing, all of mine have done it. They go through periods where they barely eat, and other times they eat everything without complaint. I was told by a pediatrician that this is all normal and not to worry, they will not let themselves starve to death. Their bodies store extra fat anyway. With my own, I serve them what we are having and that's it. If they don't eat, they don't eat. I do not want them thinking they can take advantage of me or get special treatment when there are 5 other people in this house to feed. Most of the time now they eat just fine, and they are open to trying new things because we have a "try one bite before you leave the table" rule. So even if they don't eat, they've tried one bite and decided whether they will eat it or not.

Dear L. - I have three kids, ages 5, 4 and 1. My picky eater is my 1-year-old. What I've learned is she is a huge breakfast eater and often eats two or three times before lunch. That's actually the healthier way to eat. Dinner should be the smallest meal, but our culture has put our big meal at the end of the day. Children are naturally drawn to sweeter and saltier foods by design. Thousands of years ago when we didn't have processed foods and ate raw fruits and veggies, poisonous plants were bitter. That's how many veggies taste to kids...bitter. And that's why they often stay away, b/c years ago bitter often meant poison. Taste buds do change as we get older. One thing I've learned with each of my kids is they love dipping foods, cutting things and finger foods. So, I've learned to try to adapt things...apples get cut up and served w/ peanut butter and honey on the side. They get whole wheat crackers with healthy cheese that they can cut w/ those dull spreader knives themselves. Roasted chicken is often offered w/ ketchup or bbq sauce. There may be some happy medium that can let your husband explore his culinary talents while letting your son not feel like he isn't being hammered to eat. We also have employed a trial rule in our house. My kids must try everything if they want an alternative to what's being served. I will not cook them a separate meal. If they try it and say they don't like it (after swallowing) I will offer them a very simple (and healthy) sandwich as an alternate. And they must eat a bit of everything before they can consider dessert. One more bit of food for thought...I have a great whole wheat pizza crust recipe, that my kids love. It's something I love to create and they love to eat. They also go to local "pick your own" places and have helped me make salsa, pasta sauce, etc. Try to get your husband to get Lucas involved in making the food...he might be proud enough to eat it. My kids started eating caesar salad b/c I would give them their own lettuce, dressing and cheese (in three separate containers) and they had to put it together. I definitely find they're more willing to at least try things when they're involved in making them. I wouldn't threaten or yell - then it's a stand off. Keep it plain and simple. This is what's for dinner. If you try it and you don't like it, then you can have a sandwich. But only a sandwich. Otherwise, you'll have to wait until morning. But make him sit at the table with you irregardless. That's our rule. There's no yelling involved. We don't all like the same foods. And get Lucas involved maybe in the menu planning as well as the preparation. Maybe he loves peanut butter, and you can find some fun adult foods with peanut sauce (thai is great). Who knows, maybe your husband and Lucas will both enjoy cooking and eating that much more. Good luck!

Hi L.,
I do not have any advice for you because I am goiong through the same thing with my three year old son. There are maybe seven foods that he will eat. He will eat crackers, yogert drink, chicken only in nugget form unless I fight with him and a couple of fruits. I can not reason with him to take a bite. If I put something in his mouth and he does not like the way it feels he will immediatly spit it out. He also has a speech problem, and seems to have some issues with his mouth. He likes to bite his shirt, chew his straw. I do not know if all of this stuff is related. I am interested to read the advice you get. I just wanted to let you know that I am right there with you. I have two other children that will eat anything you put in front of them. Anyway, Good luck to both of us!!!
S. R

Children go through different stages. One of them being picky food eaters. There is nothing wrong with spaghetti and meat ball, fish sticks, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cheese sticks...etc. Just try to get the healthiest possible like Organic high quality foods. If you are worried he is not getting proper nutrition then get supplements. Gummi or Yummi Bears make very good ones...they even have Vegan/ Kosher if you are.
Eventually they grow into more adventurous eaters...just takes time. If you know he eats what he likes then why not make it...remember he is still only 4:)
Great Luck!!!

As for frustration...if you get frustrated then try to exercise or talk it through with a friend or your husband. Children watch us closely as examples and create their own habits. If there is too much emphasis on any are they may develop unhealthy habits...such as eating disorders... it also goes for ALL areas of growth...relationships, learning to cope, etc.

I have a son 4 1/2 year old who was extremely picky. I've had tremendous success with him exploring new foods. I have a completely hands off approach. If he doesn't want to eat what I cook, I give him a healthy alternative. Eventually he started requesting whatever I was eating. This was a process. It took a few months. Now he will ask for everything & eat anything. I am elated! Your approach will turn eating into a battle & a very unpleasant situation. A 4 year old should not go to bed hungry, that's very sad. I know your doing is not intentional, but it is a form of punishment. Give your child the control, let him think you don't care. This is 99% the battle, at this age.

Not only does my son have a past existing medical condition (acid reflux) which caused fear of food, but also he was a very picky eater. I am speaking from an Occupational Therapist viewpoint as well. I am a therapist who works with children.

Do yourself a favor & your child and lay low. If you think about it; all of that begging, threatening I'm sure gets you nowhere. We never win in the end, it's just an unpleasant situation. I promise you this will pass. Preschoolers are picky eaters, they eventually change. Ride with wave. Good Luck!
D.

Hi L.,

Sounds like you son is normal - asserting himself with some power plays. He will come around. My daughter and one of my grandsons have been the worst of the worst picky-eaters - extremely challenging and strong-willed children. Phew, I have seen it all. Both have improved enormously. Both could still do better - you never stop being a mom!

Keep offering your son your the prepared meals - little bites of each food. When he refuses, just take it away. It is best not to keep offering him alternatives, even in the middle of the night. If he wakes up hungry because he would not eat dinner, give him water. He will survive. Odds are he will eat a good breakfast out of need. The number of times one needs to offer foods to kids when they won't eat is around twelve. For example, if your son does not like peas, keep putting a pea on his plate night after night, over and over. One day he will just eat it. If and when he throws it on the ground or fusses about it, simply remove it - no reprimand. There are some foods he will never eat. My number one vegetable that I would spit out as a kid and I won't consider eating today is lima beans - sends chills up my spine just thinking about it!

Another factor that plays into all this is that kids are born with more taste buds than we end up having as adults. Thus, the taste of food become more bland as we get older. Your sons taste for foods will change- his repertoire if foods will grow as long as they are continually offered to him. It is clear that kids that are introduced to a range of foods are better eaters as adults.

There is one other factor that can play into enticing kids to eat better foods. Different foods fuel different part of the body. Pop-Eye demonstrated that to us with spinach. Play to your sons dreams - does he want to be a fireman, soccer player or be just like daddy when he grows up? Whatever his passion, help him to see that he needs strong muscles, sharp eyes, a smart brain to fill his dream. Then point the foods he is being served will make him strong and smart. There is a chart in a CD cookbook, Mom, I'm Hungry. What's for Dinner? that tells you what foods fuel your muscles, brains, eyes and more. Once kids see that eating foods is about giving them what they want, their attitude changes - it is now about them, not you!

Do your best. Don't stress. My husband is the chef in our home. Now my kids and grandkids chant for his meals. Your son will chant for his daddy's dinners one day as well. We are so fortunate to have married men with this culinary gift.
Enjoy!

... for the health of your family,

E. Briggs
Family Food Experts
www.BetterFoodChoices.com
www.GoMillionMoms.com
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I am having similar problems. Cognitive behavioral therapists would tell you not to make a huge fight out of it. It may mean the child goes to bed hungry. Perhaps have a family meeting and come up with a compromise plan for nights that he does not like dinner. Like he has to try dinner, that dinner will always include one or 2 condiments he would like (applesauce and bread with butter), what not.
Also give let him be involved in making dinner, he might be more interested that way.
Overall he is probably trying to assert more independence. If he doesn't like something, don't fret just let him know that when he is older he probably will like it....so he better keep trying it from time to time. Meanwhile plan on having good breakfasts available. And give him choices or more responsibilities in some areas that he presently doesn't have choices to perhaps help him feel more independent. Good luck! He won't starve!

Hi. I have a son that will be 5 next month. Here are my ideas ... get him involved in the cooking, shopping and planning meals, give him a choice of items - peas or carrots for example. Put him in charge of something so he has control over something.

We are fortunate that our son is a good eater, but he does like the kid version of foods - he isn't big on pastas with a lot of items in them or casseroles, meatloaf is a challenge since it looks different than a meatball, but is essentially the same thing. We tell him that he has to try new things - 1 bite - and then we have items that were prepared without all of the fixings or seasonings for him. If he wants plain pasta, we say he has to have a serving with sauce, then he can have pasta with butter. It works for us and he has discovered he likes the new foods. Yesterday we tried chicken quesadillas - it took forever to get him to try this kid favorite and he actually liked it. I have heard that you have to give a child something 20 times or more before you can rule out they don't like something. My son does not like grilled cheese, but we still keep trying. He likes cheese and bread, but not melted and grilled for some reason. Also, just last year he started liking potatoes - mashed and baked. He loves veggies and we had spinach tonight. There is a book called "Little Pea" and it is about a pea that has to eat candy every day and all he wants is spinach - this is how we introduced spinach to our son. I get the baby spinach, steam it and add a lot of butter and salt. He only has to have about a tablespoon, but he is so proud. It is a challenge though, and we have our fair share of tantrums and timeouts, but don't give up. We made spaghetti squash once and that was fun - baking it and then scooping it out, serve it with butter of course. Try salad with italian dressing or slathered in dressing he may like. Again, this works for us, but it isn't easy. Good luck!