Picky Eater - Minneapolis,MN

My picky eater has sensory issues. Might be something to think about or look into. It's hard to know without more information about how, why and when she's picky. My son will actually gag (or when he was little vomit) when he tries something he doesn't like. Good luck. I know how frustrating it is.

You didn't mention how old your daughter is, but I'm guessing she's more than 2 because of how she's communicating. I have an almost 4 year-old who isn't terribly picky, but she has definitely been exerting her will at mealtime!! I am pretty lax with breakfast and lunch (she has a peanut butter sandwich almost every day - I get the natural stuff, so I figure it's fine. :)), but at dinner, I've planned and cooked a meal, and we are all going to eat it together! I've managed to get plenty of spicy foods into her by toning it down with plain yogurt or sour cream, and she was doing pretty well overall, but meal times were taking F O R E V E R ! Soooo.....

A friend recently shared this "game" with me, and it has been a hit at our house! For every food on your plate, ask 5 questions (to go along with 5 or more bites).
1) Is it hot or cold?
2) Is it crunchy or soft?
3) Is it sweet or salty (savory is a word we'll try to teach, since it's more accurate for some things)?
4) What food groups are in this? You can make a fun game...like if it is chicken noodle soup, you have meat, grain, veggie, maybe even dairy if you've stirred dairy in!
5) Would you like to have more?

You never ask, "Do you like this?" but instead focus on just getting them familiar with foods. Last week I put roasted brussels sprouts in front of her, and she said, "What's that? I don't like that?" proving that a lot of times kids assume they won't like something simply because it is unfamiliar. We played our game and by the 4th bite, she looked me and said, "Mommy! I LIKE the Brussels Sprouts!!" She didn't want anymore after 5 bites, but who cares??

This game has mealtimes so much more fun, and she's learning about food, which is exciting. I will say this: Until she was about 18 months or so (and had plenty of teeth), I still made her some veggie purees to eat with dinners when we were having a veg that might have been tough for her to eat. I never pushed the issue on lettuce, but invited her to help me tear it. Now she loves it - just hates salad dressing (better for her anyway!!). She helps me prep green beans, and now they're her favorite. Sometimes getting the kids involved with prep gives them ownership.

Hope there's something in there that helps! :)

Your kids are picky eaters. How do you get them to try something new? Or just eat their veggies?

1. Allow your kids to help plan the menus. If they have voice in their meals, they are more likely to accept those meals.
2. Have your kids help you prepare the meals. Let your kids see how the meals are prepared and what the ingredients are. If your kids want to “tweak” a recipe here or there, give their suggestions consideration. For example, does Timmy want to add cashews to his orange roughy? It’s an unusual combination, but it may be good. Give it a try and see if you like it.
3. Ask lots of questions and provide reasonable accommodations. “Janey, what is it about that veggie that you don’t like?” Some concerns can be addressed by minor modifications to the dish you are serving. Is the broccoli “too boring”? Ok, top the broccoli with melted cheddar cheese. Is the stew “gross” because of cooked carrots? Ok, substitute a different veggie for the carrots or reduce the quantity of carrots in the stew. (TIP: some moms are tempted to finely chop the carrots and “sneak” them in the stew, but when your kids find out about the sneaky carrots, and you know they will, they’ll distrust other dishes that you serve thereafter.)
4. Get creative. If Little Pat doesn’t like cooked green vegetables, would Little Pat be willing to eat raw green vegetables? If Timmy doesn’t like plain orange roughy, would putting it in a casserole or adding a small amount of drawn butter be more appealing to Timmy? Would Janey like her carrots if they were in chicken noodle soup rather than stew?
5. Have patience. Don’t approach food with a disciplinarian perspective. If kids feel that mealtime is punitive, that will encourage them to approach meals with caution. Instead, embrace their right to like or dislike certain foods, maintain your own right to inquire non-judgmentally about what their specific concerns are about the disliked foods, and seek to remedy any concerns expressed by your kids.
6. Don’t provide unreasonable accommodations. If you prepare only the dishes that your kids already like, you will encourage them in their picky eating and discourage them from trying new foods.
7. If your kids say that they don’t like certain foods because they make them feel “icky”, take your kids to the doctor to determine if they have food allergies that you need to be aware of. If a food allergy is present, your doctor can recommend alternatives. For example, lactose-free milk can be purchased at most grocery stores.
8. Making trying new foods fun. Make mashed potato mountains and valleys with gravy rivers. Have a broccoli forest (stand broccoli on their stems). Make a sandwich smiley face (remove crusts in a rounded pattern and cut in a smile and two eyes). Have an international foods dinner periodically, and let your kids learn about news foods (and cultures) via that experimentation.
9. Consider nutritional supplements. Vitamin and mineral tablets come in kid-friendly shapes that entice kids and encourage kids to accept taking them without fuss.

Try buying some cookbooks for kids and let her choose what to make for dinner. If she has some choice and can help cook she might eat better. We have a Betty Crocker cookbook called Kid Favorites Made Healthy. Even though it is "kids food" it is also adult friendly. Our daughter will look through it and choose what we should have. Earlier this week she chose lasagna. I've never really seen her eat lasagna before, but she devoured it! My kids also love to make their own pizzas (we often times use the sandwich thins) and their own tacos. They seem to eat much better on the nights they help to decide what to eat.

I have found (depending on the child) that there are two good ways to overcome this.

1) Give the food, if the child does not eat it, tell them it will be the next meal/snack. & follow through. Eventually they will decide they do not like eating their supper for breakfast or having cold veggies as a snack & just eat what id presented to them.

2) give the child a choice. when making supper ask them, do you want beans or peas? This gives them a sense of control.

A combination of this also works.

If your daughter is young & it is a problem introducing new foods, remember that it often takes several tries before they decide that a new food is ok. Continue to offer. Even if it is just one or two bites each time, eventually the familiarity will come & she will put up less of a fuss.

Kids like what they like. I think that as parents we do have a responsibility to expand their food universe with wonderful yummy foods but the truth is that they are not very likely to try new things until they are older.

She must eat so you are going to have to include her in the meal planning. If she wants fish sticks and french fries you'll have to offer her something green to go along, needs some color in my minds eye...lol.

She may not eat it but the meal will be much more enjoyable and she will have fond memories of the time together while enjoying food.

Kids DO NOT eat when they get hungry. They get sick, they puke due to an empty stomach, they get hungry. That is not the way to make her eat. She will just learn to hate food and that is has power.

My granddaughter has a geographic tongue. Her taste buds change sometimes daily. One day all she wants is macaroni and cheese, maybe that's all she has wanted for a couple of days. Then she goes to take a big bite and starts gagging and puking it up. Her taste buds have changed and it tastes nasty to her now.

I have learned the hard way to let the food time drama go. It is not good for anyone. Trying to prove you are the parent and can make them eat is not very kind to me. I have seen this happen over and over again.

I have a lot of years in child care where we had the clean plate frame of mind. Then they realized kids were being traumatized by this way of thinking.

So, in my opinion kids need to have a voice. They need to have boundaries of course but giving them a chance to tell you what they would like allows them to speak up for themselves and to verbalize what they like or don't like.

I often ask the grandkids what they'd like for dinner. If they both want different things we pick the one that didn't get his or her choice the day before.

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I didn't say they won't like it. My grandson eats anything that I put in front of him. His favorite food is broccoli, any way he can get it.

I am just saying kids will not eat what ever they are ordered to eat if they get hungry enough. They will not eat it if they don't like it and why in the world should a parent choose to make this a huge battle. There are all kinds of ways of getting kids to eat stuff that is good for them that gets around the fighting about food.

Think about spaghetti sauce. It has tomatoes, onions, garlic, herbs and spices, etc...plus grains from the pasta. What kid doesn't like spaghetti? Most do anyway.

Put that with some garlic bread and a side veggie they are getting almost a serving out of every food group without having an argument at the table and it becoming a battle over food.

You didn't give a lot of background about why she won't eat it.. When I was 3 I got a horrible stomach virus, I was in the hospital for weeks and they weren't sure what was going on.. When I got home I'd literally only eat fried chicken, McDonald's, burgers, pizza the usual. If my mom tried to get me to eat say salad it was the end of the world for me, I'd seriously have a panic attack and I just couldn't do it. I had/have selective eating disorder and the harder anyone pushed, the worse the panic got... if she's just being stubborn then push back. Put food on her plate and that's what she can eat, if she doesn't then there'll be breakfast in the morning, but if you can tell this is a deep seated issue where you can see the panic in her face then get her to a therapist.... I didn't eat salad or any type of veggie until I was 18 :( now that i know what the issue is it's easier for me to work through it.

And I disagree with Gamma G, my 2 year old eats anything we put in front of her so not all kids are like that.. she likes all veggies, salmon sashimi, steak, any food you can imagine.. as a snack she begs me for salad lol..