Peer Biting at Day Care -How to Stop

Sometimes a change in daycare/environment will resolve the issue. He could be feeling like he isn't getting enough attention and he is acting out because of it.

I hate the idea of subjecting a new group of children to a biter if there is another way. Because he is not biting at home and he is not biting with relatives, then maybe it really is just something in his current daycare that is eating at him.

Do you have any family that could do it for awhile? Maybe pulling him out, giving him a few weeks to unwind and trying again someplace else may help?

I honestly do not believe that it's fair to say that the other child did something to cause or instigate a biting attack. I have seen biting many times happen right before my eyes and at times when absolutely no fight or problem seemed to be happening. I have had children attacked that were the sweetest, nicest kids around. One little girl was repeatedly attacked and she would give her toys up before every fighting over them, she's quiet and friendly. There is NO way this child did anything to warrant the attacks.

Recently a child started biting and he chose just one child to bite. True, it's easy to believe that this child was singled out for a reason. But this child did not do anything that every other child his age does. The boys are about a week apart in birthdays and they both get on each others nerves. But the biting was only happening in one direction. The child being bit started to defend himself eventually and he chose pulling hair as his way to defend himself against the biting.

Somtimes in cases like this it really is just a problem that will work itself out. But it's so frustrating while it is going on.

In another scenario.. My daughter hit a boy today and I heard her tell him "see, that's how it feels to be hit all the time". He has been hitting her. I don't agree with what she did so I had to time her out. But while she was in time out I gave him a good talking to because she would not have hit him if he hadn't been so mean to her in the last week. I did not condone what she did and I told them both that.

It's not right to assume that the daycare providers are doing nothing to try and fix it or that they are being one sided in their discipline. We do our best to handle it and it's just one of those things that will happen and takes a bit of detective work to figure it out, if it can be figured out at all.

Suzi

I would take him out of daycare. He is pretty old to be biting, so it sounds like there is something else going on there. Many kids don't get enough attention in daycares.

I know with my kids the only times they bit someone was when the other person was bugging them and would notleave them alone, and they could not verbalize the frustration of how this other person bugging them was upsetting them; maybe talk to the day care and ask them if this is happening. I'm sorry this isn't a better help my kids are 12 and 7, and if I can remember the 12 yr old is the one who bit her cousin and she was only 2 at the time. Good Luck.

Usually, biting is a sign that he can not express himself verbally. There are a lot of questions that need to be answered, before one can figure out why he is biting. Is there something going on at home, that he is carrying over to his daycare?How are his communication skills? What happens at daycare, when he bites? What is the teacher doing about it? Is there good supervision?
At daycare, and at home, he needs to know that it is not okay (bad choice) to bite his friends, and encourage him to use his words. He should also make amends (say that he is sorry, help attend to the child that he has biten), with the peer that he has biten.

A.

I used to work at a daycare and we had a little boy who would bite frequently, it was to the point the daycare administration had told the parents he would need to be removed in 2 weeks if the issue was not resolved. The parents took him to the doctor and asked for suggestions, the Dr recomended that each time he bit someone we placed a tsp. of vinegar on his tounge (the Dr said tobasco sauce works to but we didn't feel comfortable with the tabasco) it only took about two times of recieving the vinegar and the biting stopped. Hope this helps. My sister also did this with my nephew and it worked.

This is a really common issue with little ones. They get overwhelmed and don't use their words when they are frustrated or excited and instead they bite. Teach him a "rescue" word to use if he is getting frustrated, such as FREEZE or WAIT and let the daycare teachers know his word so they can intervene and let the other kids know to leave him alone when he says his word. That way they can help him calm down and cope with whatever issue is causing him to feel like biting. He is definitely old enough to realize it's not a good thing to do and to use alternative ways of dealing with stress.

Biting is such a hard thing to figure out sometimes. I can understand the daycare's view, they have to keep the other kids safe and I'm sure they are getting pressure of parents of the kids who are getting bit. As a parent who had a biter I understand your view too. Of course my son has been the victim of a biter aswell.

Kids bite for several reasons, most of the time it stems from frustration. Other times it's just they have figured out it's a way of getting a toy or something they want.
Then you have a few who bite for no reason.

I know for my son he would bite out of revenge, a kid would take his toy, so he would bite them. He was around 2. With the help of the daycare provider we were able to figure out any triggers. And was able to determine his trigger. Once I knew it would out of being angry. His daycare provider and I were able to curb it by teaching him to say "I'm mad". Once she heard him say I'm mad, she knew a situation was happening and get is resolved.

Thankfully my son was able to find another outlet for his anger besides biting pretty quick.

I really think the best thing to do is trying to figure out what is triggering him to bite, remember it could be anything. If it is out of anger or frustration then he needs to be shown the correct way of handling his frustration. I think at 3 1/2 he can understand and comprehend he is inflicting pain on the other kids.

Best of Luck

Best of luck.

Hi,
In my opinion when it comes to biting, kids will use whatever defense they can come up with. So there is a reason he is biting it may be because of another child or one child in general. I would talk to them again, find if it is all of them he is biting or just one. Is there a certain time of day.
Daycare seem to single out the child who is biting but do nothing to a child who may instagate a situation. Just my opinion though, W.