So I have been here many times asking questions regarding my daughters weight. She was told by her PC at her 6 yr well visit that she was gaining too much. Then at her 7 yr, her weight jumped again, and I was told to take her to a nutrionist. Well, because I felt she was becoming self concious of what her PC was saying I went to the nutrionist myself to discuss what she was eating should be eating ect... This has always been a very very touchy subject for me bc I am a very thin women and always have been. My household is not filled with junk food, and we do not eat fast food ect... So this losing weight thing is all new for me. It is also very hard for my daughter bc she sees how thin I am and asks why she has a big belly, BREAKS my heart!!!!!! I tell her everyone is built differently and she is perfect. But then she says well if I am perfect why does the dr say I need to lose weight!!!! Such a hard place to be I am telling you. Soooo, my question is, for the ast yr she only drinks water, morning lunch and dinner, NO high fructose corn syrup in my home, lots of fruit, veggies with dinner, whole grain bread NEVER white. I am seriousely on top of this like you cannot believe, and I see NO difference!!!!!!!! What else can I do???? Oh and did I mention she plays soccer, 2 hr dance class, running club once a week, and is a child who rarely sits and watches tv. So for all these people who say its the parents fault their child is ovverweight what else can I do?????? Did I mention my husband was chubby kid????? Well back then thats what they called it, now they call it obese? What else can I do?
Do a full workup. Get her tested for nutritional deficiencies, thyroid problems, hormone problems, etc. There could be something completely medical causing weight gain.
Also, she might be simply eating too large of portions. Is she getting junk at school?
Amy, I believe every word that you have written. I believe that you are doing everything right. The reason that I fully believe you is that I have had the SAME experience with my own body. I did EVERYTHING right and still gained weight. Only after months of charting my food and exercise did my doctor believe me.
I had a problem with my pituitary gland and supplements solved my problem, but I think Amanda G. was right on and you should have her tested for food allergies or sensitivities. The suggestion to go to an endocrinologist was a good one too!
I am sorry that your daughter's doctor is chipping away at her self esteem. You are a good mama to feed her such healthy foods and to want to protect her self worth.
I hope you find an answer soon. Keep up the great work!
Take her to another Dr. Based on what you are saying, she should be at a healthy weight. There is something else going on. Could it be a possibility that she is sneaking food? Also, do you consider her portions. Even though the food she is eating is good for her, it may be too much. Not sure how many calories an 8 yo should eat, but that may be worth looking into. Good Luck.
As far as telling her she is perfect, I personally refrain from telling my kids that they are perfect. I tell them that no one is perfect and everyone has things they can work on. Explain to her, that while she needn't concern herself with her weight, she does need to be aware that too much excess weight can be unhealthy.
Since you are seemingly doing all the right things id start checking for allergies that cause bloat or weight gain....like casein or gluten sensitivities. Sometimes its JUST that simple.
Take care, that is such a key age for self esteem, even my rail/needs to put on a few lbs daughter is called out for having a "big butt" or tummy" right now when she absolutely DOES NOT i mean, literally these kids are just being mean.
Are you sure you are controlling this as much as you think you are?
She sounds like a super healthy eater and sounds like she's very active.
Still 1+1 is not equaling 2 here...
A friend of my mom's found empty bread bags and packages hidden in her boys' room. They were hungry so they were sneaking things out of their freezer, and sneaking it into & eating in their rooms....any chance of that?
I would push for a full blood CBC to rule out anything medical that might be causing the weight gain.
How close is her height to weight to ratio? If she's in the higher end of height it's only logical that she'll be in the higher end of weight on the charts. Some doctors are blind to this fact. They only see a child in the 90% or whatever for weight and automatically say they are overweight but don't account for the fact that their height is also in the 80 or 90% which means they are not overweight but in proportion. Is he using BMI or percentiles?
How much muscle mass does she have? Muscle weights more than fat.
I would push to see specialists to rule out any physical issues. A personal trainer type person that can check body fat measurements etc.
Have you thought of taking her to an endocronologist? Perhaps there is something going on that a regular doctor wouldn't pick up on.
Try doing that. I would ask the ped for a referral, and not take no for an answer!
Dawn
I agree, something else is going on here since you are doing everything right.
Talk to your daughter. Tell her that in order for our bodies to be healthy, 2 things need to happen. One is something she can control, and she can control what she eats. The other part she can't control, and that is how her body is made. Let her know you are proud of her for doing what she can to control what she eats. Now let her know the two of you are going to try to see if there is anything about how her body is made that needs help.
Let her know that lots of people have trouble with the way their bodies are made and it is not their fault. Some people are made with bigger issues than others.
She may need a detox (vaccinations can do it, so can a lot of other factors). She may have a food allergy. She may have a sensitivity. She may have a hormonal imbalanced.
Kids are not stupid. When you tell her she is perfect---she sees that she is overweight so she thinks you are lying. It doesn't help her self esteem.
Do let her know that it is much more important who we are than what we look like. Because we can control who we are, we can't always control what we look like.
Find out together why her weight is off, but in the meantime praise her daily on the things she can control. Ask her what she likes about her friends--is it how they look or who they are?
Kids handle better with truth than with sugar coating or lies. They recognize truth.
Good luck to you! And try a natural doctor or homeopath. They will help you in a more natural way.
I have been in the same boat.. except it's been with my son. like you, no junk or high fructose, not even juice.. TONS of water... and exercise.. HOWEVER, that which we needed to get off completely were grains... whether good grain or bad grain.. when you've got belly fat (which my son did) you've got to cut back on those as well.... nowadays, there are plenty of of no gluten choices.. Since we have been cutting back on those (to almost virtually nothing) I have finally seen results... he is slimming down. additionally, you 've got to mix up the exercise.. as you probably know, the body acclimates to exercise rather quickly.. can you get her a jump rope? since my son has been doing that, it's also working..
oh check out, wellnessmama.com << good article on there why grains make you fat.. it's worth a good read..
I wish you all the best
Hi Amy,
For some reason her body is not absorbing the nutrition you are giving her. If she is overweight there are toxins built up in her system. Toxins don't have to be eaten, they can be absorbed the lungs and even through the skin. They also won't simply go away because she's not getting anymore. Toxins have to be removed. Detoxing is absolutely a must. It should be relative inexpensive and painless for you and her.
I was a kid on meds and had to deal with the same thing. Everyone in my family was thin but me. I'm thin now because I got the toxins out and keep them out. I can walk you through what I did if you're interested.
God bless,
M.
How much she weighs is dependent upon two things - energy in (food) and energy out (metabolism, exercise). So she is consuming more calories than she is burning, even if where they are is not obvious to you. I would absolutely take her to see the nutritionist. Likely they will recommend keeping a food diary - most people are unable to accurately recall everything they ate 24 hours ago and most of us are very poor judges of portion size. Also - she is 8 - what is she eating at school, dance class, after soccer, etc? My son's Montessori feeds them 3 snacks a day (supposedly healthy but 3 snacks, plus 3 meals is a lot). I am sure this is heartbreaking but it will be easier to fix at age 8 than when she is older.
There is a child's weight... and then there is the BMI. (body mass index).
Which one, does your Pediatrician say, is too high????
And, how is your child's 'weight' and height.... as compared to genetics??? How is your or your Husband's... body frame???
I know people who were chubby as kids. And are NOT now as adults.
They just naturally got lankier. Not because of them doing any dieting or exercise.
Her weight doesn't make you a bad mother, and this is the impression I am getting from you, that you think people may think you are. You need to toss that thought aside and not care what "all these people" say, and simply do the best to your ability to care for your daughter and help her to develop and keep healthy eating and exercise plans.
Possibly the best thing she can do is to eat a healthy diet, set up by you, her, and a nutritionist. But you won't know that until you try it. I would have taken your daughter to meet with the nutritionist when she was 7, because it's always easier for a child to follow a program when they are part of it's implementation and feel they are involved. The nutritionist could have helped (and still can) set up a meal plan around the foods that are good for her and that she enjoys. Serving sizes are as important as what she eats. Along with weight are tests that determine her glucose level, how her kidneys and other organs are working, etc., to determine how healthy she is and what risk factors she could be facing.
You can tell her that the reason the doctor wants her to lose weight is because sometimes being overweight, even as a child, makes us more susceptible to developing certain diseases such as high blood pressure and diabetes (World Diabetes Day is Nov 14 so I'm sure there will be much attention in the media) and that it is always best for us to be as healthy as possible. Diabetes Type 2 has increased tremendously in children as young as your daughter, and it can have life-threatening complications.
To compensate for any low self-esteem your daughter feels you can always have her talk to a therapist, so she is made aware that her feelings have value and that the circumstances in her life do not make her any less perfect. Also remember that this is not about you, as much as you care for your daughter, it breaks your heart, and is a touchy subject for you, you need to not relay this to her, but stay as positive as possible, follow doctor's recommendations and do what's in your daughter's best interests, taking all factors into consideration. {{HUGS}}
Lots of girls look just like their daddies. So, if your hubby is thick boned and chubby she probably has his genes and will never be thin like you. She can get reasonably thin with diet and exercise and it will take time.
You need to see a good nutritionist that will count calories for her growing body and explain to you about food combinations that promote fat build up.
Above all, do not lie to your daughter that she is beautiful and perfect - she will know that you are telling lies and will lose her trust in you. Better to acknowledge that she has some sort of metabolic problem and to help her to become the best she can be.
Well, it could just be the way she is growing. My cousin was a very chunky kid...very chunky and round with big round cheeks. Then when he was 16 he shot up and got incredibly tall and lost all his chunkiness. It was such a shock bc the next time I saw him I did not recognize him. Share this story with her if you want - she might grow more and thin out when she is older bc it sounds like she is eating right and exercising. It is most likely just her genetics and she is doing everything right and is probably very healthy. We all have different body shapes and even if she is never thin she can still be strong and healthy and that is what matters...not how thin you are.
