My 8 Year Old Has Been Lying for About 1 Year.

I have a step-son who is 12 who will lie to the very end. Even as I'm walking up to the teacher with him beside me...I don't understand either. When we found out (after failing) we got him tutoring and he's doing much better but he still lies about behavior...if you do get any suggestions would you please share them for me?

I have the same problem with my 11 year old girl. She lies and keeps lying even when she knows she's caught..I don't understand it...I've taken her to a psychologist. There are reasons our kids do things, sometimes it's just hard to figure out why. The best thing to do is just sit and talk to your son about it and tell him he shouldn't be afraid to tell the truth.

It's hard to say, Mom, but since homework seems to be the only area that involves lying....I'd suggest rewarding him on the days he is truthful about his homework. Instead of scolding him or making an issue of him lying on the other days. Just something simple like thirty minutes extra at bedtime or offer him something bigger if he is honest each evening for a week....a trip for ice cream or letting him pick a movie to rent, etc. Nothing really expensive. Whatever he shows an interest in. *Sometimes* focussing on the positive instead of the negative is enough of a switch to make a difference.

I know there are so many times by the end of the day that I just don't want to have to do anything else. And, maybe it's just a bad habit. But, look to see what it is that he's in such a hurry to do each evening. If it's play outside...then let him have half an hour of playtime for a break. Or, if it's the computer....give him extra time on it if he's truthful and does his homework first and without a fuss. Same way with television.

I am wondering if he's a third grader?? Seems to me that with my own children and now my grandchildren....that third grade was a difficult year. Not just accademically...but in emotional development, too. That was the year of more arguments, and such. Things settled down after that year. But, you can't let him get away with it either.

Good luck and God Bless.

Hi! I'm a former teacher. Have you asked your 8 year old why he's lying? What does he say? If he says he's not lying, ask him what his teacher *really* said? If he's still denying that he has homework (and you know better) then ask him "What about this?" If he says it's already done, as to see it. If he says he left it at school, take him back up to school. In other words, call his bluff. Then, ask him what *he* thinks his punishment should be for lying. If he's not hard enough on himself, ask him why. etc. He's pushing the envelope. The only thing you can do is constantly push back. Good luck.

This is something you need to stop ASAP. As they get older they get smarter and won't be able to fool you. You need trust in every relationship in your life and if you can't trust him you guys are going to have rough times.My daughter has tried to lie before and she knows that I am very passionate about not lying. Here are my suggestions....
Ask him how it makes if feel when he lies....good, bad are you proud of yourself for lying? See what his response is to that and go from there. It shouldn't make him happy because lying is bad so he will probably be remorseful. He is old enough to take responsibility for his actions. Tell him it hurts you and also hurts his little brother. Ask him if he would be proud of his little brother if he started lying and he was the one who taught him. You can always ground him or take things away. We also pray in my family, my daughter knows that God does not like it when you lie and she always wants to do the right thing for God, if not for her parents. And last but not least we pinkie swear, this is super big in my family.....we know you cannot lie on a pinkie swear. So, maybe you caould start something like that of high importance, and be able to tell if he's trying to lie. I know this is a lot I hope some of it helps. ( : Good Luck to you! Be strong and patient, you will get through it.

I went through this with my 6 year old for a few months... I finally went to www.dogpile.com and typed in "why children lie" and just started reading. There were several good websites it pulled up. It's so hard to understand their little brains...and no one wants to raise a compulsive liar. I was afraid he had no conscious of not telling the truth...so we went and bought at bookstores and also checked out books from the library on honesty and stuff... just so he could see the big picture and how big of a deal it was to ME.
So, I don't really HAVE advise... just wanted you to know that you're not alone...and that I'll be thinking of you and your little guy!

I think he is probably trying to get away with as much as he can.

You might try taking things away from him or grounding him if he continues, soon or later he will not have anything left and stop the lying.

Good Luck

Does your child attend after school care? I have 3 children. If they attend after school care, they are required to do it at after school. That way I don't have to spend what little time I have with them struggling over homework. Or, meet with his teacher, and see if she can withhold recess if he doesn't do homework. That takes you out of the middle and eliminates the lying. It will make them responsible for remembering and completing their school duties as they get older and the homework affects their grades.