My 6 Year Old Told Me I Shouldn't Wear a Bikini :(

Updated on August 23, 2011
R.D. asks from Richmond, VA
25 answers

DD: Mommy, do they only make bikinis for grown ups?

ME: No, you saw Grandma's bathing suit, why?

DD: You should get a one piece.

ME: Oh yeah? Why?

DD: To cover that up (points at my stomach).

ME:... oh. Does it bother you? Do you think it's ugly?

DD: I just think you should cover that up.

OMG. My body looks pretty darn good... except my stomach. Some of you may recall I have a tummy tuck scheduled for April. I KNOW it's gross to look at (I just kind of don't care, my husband is the only one who sees me naked!! I'm not trying to impress anyone!) I don't even own anything but bikinis... what do I do? My self esteem did NOT need this right now :( I know I'm not a bathing suit model, but one pieces make me look like a short, white, oompa loompa.

Do I get a one piece? Keep trying to rock the bikini?

Man, I can't wait for that tummy tuck :(

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Oh, I wear modest mom-bikinis... she just doesn't want my stomach showing...

Someone said 'if you're having surgery because of the gut, don't wear a bikini'... here's the thing... while I have it, I'll embrace it; show the kids that INNER beauty is what's important, not a perfect figure and pretty face. I'm having the tummy tuck mostly for MEDICAL reasons; my abs are so split from 3 pregnancies that they need to be repaired, and it's cheaper and more efficient to have a tummy tuck (abdominoplasty... includes the ab surgery PLUS the tuck), than to just get my abs repaired.

Sooooo... yeah, there it is ;) I know my stomach is ugly, like I said, I just don't care what others think... I HAVE to get it fixed.

Featured Answers

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe she is just uncomfortable with seeing you in that. My kids make comments all the time, and I am far from bikini ready - I'm a chunky monkey :). I wear a tankini and my kids wouldn't care either way because I act like a kid with them at the pool or beach....but maybe she just felt shy about it. My 6 year old giggles like no tomorrow if he sees me in my bra and panties...not because of my ginormo belly, but because he rarely sees me that way. And he gets shy around pretty girls too! I wouldn't let her comment get to you! After having 3 kids and being as thin as you are!!!!!!!!

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C.W.

answers from Phoenix on

lol dont you love 6 year olds? when my daughter was 4 i got my hair cut short. she announced to the whole place "mommy you look like a boy!!!!" I was 6 months pregnant with her brother at the time. lol

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I say rock it in what you like!!! I always say if they don't like what they see, they can look away!

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More Answers

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

My 6 year old came up to me the other day, took my bottom in his hands, shook it and says "Mom, your butt jiggles when you walk". "Like this" (shaking it as demonstration).

I am a size 2 and weigh 120lbs and have little "shake" to speak of (although my husband jokes I do have a butt for a little girl). The point is, if I listened to my son, I would be taping my butt down to avoid jiggling! They notice things in a different way in their own little world. It is not how adults see it.

Do YOU think it is ugly? Wear what makes you comfortable. Why not sport a cute tankini until that tummy tuck? Or, rock that bikini if you are comfortable!

7 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

I am turning 49 and Look great in a bathing suit. Why? because I work out and eat right? NOPE. Because I tried different styles and got a bathing suit that covers what is jiggly and emphasizes what still looks great. If you care about your appearance enough to want a tummy tuck I'd love to understand why wouldnt you choose a suit that you look good in? the plunging neckline makes me look a tad taller, but fits loosely around my gut. the short short skirt keeps my legs from looking to short but covers the top of my thighs. Bought it at Ross's for about 25$

7 moms found this helpful

M.J.

answers from Dover on

R., R., R., she is 6 years old, Mama! My 10 year old has a tongue as sharp as a whip & can absolutely hurt my feelings when she wants to, but only if I LET her, right?

I am kind of with Sandy, though in that if you're so uncomfortable with your tummy that you're going to undergo a pretty big-deal type of surgery, but then you let it out at the beach...that part I don't really get, I'm going to be honest.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Your daughter is 6. I wouldn't let this bother you too much.
You were reading "it's ugly" into it. She didn't say that.
My daughter went through a phase of being very modest about me. I'm built like a stick and have never felt comfortable in a bikini so I've never worn one, but even something off the shoulder, she would say, "I don't think that's appropriate, Mom".
I got a beautiful gown to wear to a black tie function. It was off the shoulder and had a slit up to below one knee. You'd think I was running the streets naked.
She was 7.
I think it's fairly typical. Don't take it too personally.

Best wishes.

4 moms found this helpful

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

My son told me one time after a weight loss commercial I should get that. I was suprised, but asked why ( I don't think I look too bad, of course there is room for improvement but still!) he said because it says it helps you loose weight from the main things that can cause weight gain, stress and kids and you have them both. lol I told him maybe I should look into that. He huged me and told me he loved me and said he was just trying to help since he loved me so much. His heart was in the right place... I say rock it out. As long as your comfortable in it that's all that matters!

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B..

answers from Dallas on

The good news, is adults notice way less then kids do. Nothing, escapes a kids eye. I was getting changed and my 2 year old was in the room, he pointed at my boobs and said, "balls." At least, he thinks they are round?? I'm not going to be dressing in front of him anymore...now that he's noticing things. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it. You know you're getting a tummy tuck, and you know your body looks good!!!

4 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Here's a spin for you. I can't remember who told me this but I do remember someone telling me that her young daughter told her she shouldn't wear low cut blouses. When asked why, it was because guys were checking mom out and it embarrassed her.

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

How funny,but your going to let a 6 yr get your self esteem down.Take a good look in the mirror what do you see?

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Honestly when I worked out my abs were perfect. No way in heck I would put my kids through me in a bikini. It isn't a matter of does it look good, it is a matter usually that it does. Kids do not like having people look at mom that way especially teens.

3 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

My kids want me to be way more modest than I actually am. I don't think it's about whether it meets standards, but more of a "your my mom" thing.

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

ooh my!!! that was really nice of Maddy!!! (not!)

You know what? Do NOT let this bother you...it's a blip on the screen!!! The more you stress over this the harder it will on you...

If you want - get a tan-kini...do what makes YOU happy!!!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Sorry -that's why I don't wear a bikini! I need a tummy tuck first! You are doing yourself a disservice if you have loose or flabby skin, stretch marks or cellulite deposits that you are displaying. That's what people's eyes are drawn to! Get yourself a tankini (my fave) or one piece until next summer after the tummy tuck -THEN you can rock a bikini! Children are very honest, even though it can hurt!

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E.J.

answers from Lincoln on

I know you're sad, but I had to laugh at this b/c my son is always telling me things. He's told me I have a big butt, he's called me big mommy, he's complained that I'm sweaty, he's told me I have stinky breath. (and I'm in a healthy weight for my size and height)

I just laugh it off when he says stuff... from the mouth of babes they say. You wear what you are comfortable in. I'm a fan of the tankini myself. Like some other mommies have said, its about what works for your body.

laugh it off, I'm sure as she gets older you will become even more embarrassing. I know when I was about 13 I would've rather died than be seen with my embarrassing mom!! haha :-)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

She's, what? 6...7? Take it with a grain of salt.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

If you rock it and you feel comfortable with your body... GO FOR IT.

I still wear a bikini and my daughter went through a stage when she was about 13 when she hated everything I put on. I don't dress like a hoochie mama but for some reason all my clothes bothered her.

I later learned that she confided in someone that she didn't like having the "hot mom" at school...... bottom line is lessened her attention I guess.

Anyway, she is over it now. We are both going on a model shoot this afternoon after school and she is fine with that.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Kids! They have no filters!!! She might see the other moms in one piece and wants hers to be the same too. Get a tankini.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

...at least you can get rid of the extra with surgery...my belly swells up after I eat ANYTHING and stays tense as a drum for HOURS. The other day my son goes: "Mom, your belly is huge!". Sadly...he was right!

1 mom found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

My son has always been excruciatingly honest in telling me if he doesn't like my clothing, hair style, etc. Starting around 6 years old. Which is when I think he began noticing other Mommies. Eh, sometimes he was right, or sometimes it just indicated that I was different than other Moms. Sometimes it made me take a clearer look at what I was wearing and I would realize that he was right - and my outfit just didn't look good. Sometimes I just shrugged it off and explained I felt good in whatever it was. He is 15 now, and I actually ask his opinion sometimes. Dang kid is usually spot on. Weird that.

Go ahead and rock the bikini - the lessons you are teaching her about self acceptance are more important than if she thinks you should wear a 2 piece or not.

God Bless

1 mom found this helpful

B.F.

answers from Toledo on

We are our own wost critic...and really if you were able to get out and enjoy the sun while on vacation, let it reach you anywhere it can! No one knows you there ;-)

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wear the bikini. It's your tummy, not her's. She will have to get used to all sorts of bodies. All bodies are wonderful.

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Sure get a one-piece. By this time next year you will be able to wear a bikini.

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Provo on

Try not to read too much into it. I remember telling my mom that her pores were big and ugly when I was about that age :( She has always been really sensitive about her skin, so that was a pretty crappy thing to say! But looking back, I bet I said it only because her skin was different from mine. I mean, 6 year old have baby skin still! I know my little ones will say things like "Mom's boobies are disgusting" and yes, it kindof stings at first, but my boobs are NOT disgusting! They are regular ol' boobs. But kids don't have them, and they look weird to them. Keep rocking your bikini unless you can find a 1 piece you really like.

BTW- one of my good friends showed up to the beach in a 2 piece. She had stretch marks that looked like knife scars all the way down her belly. She still looked beautiful. I was always so impressed that she didn't let her battle scars hold her back. And her 2 piece was super cute too!

***Make sure you let us know how the tummy tuck goes! I have been considering one for years and would love to know if its *that* bad.

1 mom found this helpful
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