Moving Has Caused Sleeping Issues

Updated on June 09, 2008
T.C. asks from Carthage, NC
10 answers

We recently moved to another state. Prior to the move and during the move (in the hotel), my 19month old son slept wonderfully. He would be put in his crib and go right to sleep.

We are now in our new home, have been for 2 weeks, and my son is NOT sleeping at all. He cries when I put him down for nap and for bedtime. He cries so much that he will not calm himself down....just gets more and more hyper. All the bedding in the crib is the same, as well as the blankets and toys. I thought something was wrong with his room, so I rearranged the furniture to reflect his old room...still the same. I have moved him into his brother's room...still the same. I am now driving around at night to get him to sleep and then hoping he will sleep thru the night. This is a dream because he always awakens at night screaming. I can't bring him in the bed because my husband needs the sleep for work. So I am out sleeping with him on the sofa or in the recliner. I am starting to become sleep deprived. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

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C.K.

answers from Nashville on

T. C,

Invest in a twin bed and put it in his room and sleep with him in the twin bed until he gets adjusted to the move, new house and maybe some anxieties he may be having. It probably would help him to cuddle up to Mommy to sleep for a while and you get to get some well needed sleep as well.

C. K

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D.P.

answers from Raleigh on

My son started this a couple of months ago after I went on a business trip to Detroit. Other than that, nothing has changed for him. Before, I could just put him down and he would drift off. We finally realized that he was teething again. Could it be something like that?
Could there be something in the new house that is waking him? Maybe you could look into getting some kind of white noise for his room? A fan? Or a air purifier what makes a consistent whir?
I would also suggest letting him play a lot in his new room throughout the day so he gets accustomed to his new surroundings, then put a nightlight in his room at night, if you haven't already done it, so he doesn't wake up and feel disoriented.
I hope things get better!

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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

Moving is h*** o* the little one. They get comfortable with their surrounding and then you change. I would think that it isn't helping with when you move things around and move him to his brothers room and sleep with him on the couch. I would think that has prolonged it even more. (just my thought)
I moved also when my little girl was 1 yr old. That may have been a little younger and that may have made a difference but what I did was make sure that I arranged her room as close as possible, even put stuff on the wall the exact same way as it was in the other house, the same furniture with the same things on the wall, everything as close as I could get it.
I think that if you did that, and walked in his room and picked him up and soothed him, talk to him and tell him it is alright that mommy has to sleep too and he needs to get his sleep and you can play in the morning, then lay him back down, pat his back or rub his back, give him a night light,cover him up and then say night-night and walk out gently and close the door and let him whine or cry for a little while, he will eventually stop and get sleepy till he falls asleep. Have a ritual before bedtime: bath before bed, bottle or snack or rocking or something that he can relate to bedtime. I think that it will be a pain for about 3 to 7 nights but after that, he will see that this is what he is supposed to do and he will learn to like his room. Also something else, if you play in his room with his toys during the day he will get use to that room, knowing that it is his and his toys, that will also make him feel more comfortable also.
I know this will be hard for a couple of night but a couple of nights is far better than for the next 6 months of no sleep.
Try this. I think that you won't be disappointed. By moving him around you are breaking his routine and showing him that it isn't the same and he wants a safe haven to sleep. He wants to feel comfortable. Also by putting him down asleep, he wakes up and is terrified because he isn't where he was when he fell asleep so he thinks that you have abandonded him. If you put him down when he is awake and you talk to him and tell him it is alright, he knows that everything is ok and he is safe.
I can even come in at night and check on my 2 yr old and cover her up and sometimes I will wake her up (she seems to be a light sleeper) and I will cover her up and sometimes she stands up and wants to be held and I will hold her, kiss her, swing with her in my arms and tell her night-night, put her back down and she goes right to sleep, no problem. I have trained her that way. She knows that is her bed and what happens when she goes in there. We have a routine at night. Da comes home, they swim in the pool for a while, we eat, she takes a bath, then her and her Da sit in the rocker and winds down while watching "jack's big music show' recorded from Noggin channel. Then they give me a kiss and he takes her and puts her in the bed. We have a monitor in our room and sometimes she will wake me up in the middle of the night talking and playing with her animals or reading a book to herself but she goes back to sleep on her own.
This isn't just her. I had 3 boys in another marriage 20 yrs ago before I had her and I did them all the same when it came to bed time and I have never had a problem with them sleeping. I did with the first one, this is what the pediatrician told me to do about the sleep and it has worked for all 4 of them, perfectly without flaws. So it works.
Good luck and if you need to talk, feel free to write.

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T.P.

answers from Nashville on

I've never tried this, but I've heard of people using a "scootch" method after moving.

Have you tried the crib in your room? The idea is that the child starts in your room (or bed if needed) for a few days and then you start to slowly "scootch" them toward their own room a little bit each night. If the baby sleeps in the living room OK, you could probably try the crib there with you on the couch to start. It may take a while, but eventually the child gets comfortable in their own room.

Good luck. My son's the same age and I know they're stubborn little things!

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S.U.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi T., sleep disturbances (as well as setbacks in potty routines, etc) are very common with big changes. Stop trying to accommodate immediately and decide what YOU want his norm to be. Decide where you want him to sleep and how you want his room arranged and give him a lengthy chance to get used to his new environment. It will become his security again eventually. You may be confusing him with all the changes to try to make him happy! Start a very specific routine with his new situation and stick to it rigidly (ie lay him down, cover him with a blanket, give him his bear, start a small music box). He may scream and balk it for awhile, but all this will eventually become 'cues' that it's now time to go to bed. Consistency will win here. Do not give in to him or he will manipulate changes and it will drive you crazy. Do not lay with him unless this is something you want to do for the next 2 years! LOL The key is, you pick the way you want him to sleep, be consistent and he will adapt. Maintain the control, as he has learned that he can control it. Good luck!

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

I would say that as long as everything's safe in his room, you just put him in there, console him that everything's OK, and let him cry it out. One or two nights should do the trick because he is obviously sleeping SOME or he wouldn't have the energy to fuss so much about it. Kids WILL sleep (or eat, or void, or whatever else they might refuse to do) if they get tired (hungry, bladder full, etc) enough! Nature has a way of DEMANDING these things sooner or later. If it's already been 2 weeks, then one or two nights of him crying shouldn't be intolerable for you considering it should give permanent (or at least difinitive) results.

P.S. You might want to think it through or have it tested to notice if there's something in the new house that he could be allergic to such as new carpeting (or old carpeting that may be harboring bacteria); paint, varnish (or other 'finishes'); molds; dye in curtains, etc.

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T.C.

answers from Nashville on

Don't take this the wrong way, but stop changing everything! he is so confussed right now. Starting tonight, start a bedtime routine and stick with it for example (this is our routine:

Dinner 6:00
Bathtime/brush teeth 6:45
Storytime 7:00
Bed 7:30
I also play a lullaby CD alnight long to associate sleep with this lightly played music. (I like Fisher Price Rainforest Lullaby.

Of course, the time is off most of the time but its doing the same thing every night in the same order that will work. I would also ask your husband to start sleeping on the couch till you can get the baby back into a sleep habit. or you might want to get your husband to go console him then lay him back down. I know your husband has to work, but its not like you are getting naps during the day-so take turns at night. When he does wake at night either pick him up cuddle him a little then say its time to sleep and lay him back down. If this does not work take him to bed with you but try and get him back to his bed before he wakes in the morning. I have moved 3 times with babies this young and you son is very normal. They don't like change.

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L.S.

answers from Nashville on

Not so much suggestions, as sympathy.

Mine also had a terrible, rotten time sleeping - naps and nights - around this age. Granted, he was never a great sleeper to begin with, but still. In fact, we were reduced to just driving around at random (interstates were best, it turned out) just to get him to sleep. I hated it. I was pregnant and hormonal, on top of it. It was rotten.

I eventually figured out it was probably part of the 18-month sleep regression, which is tied into the verbal/learning-to-talk development thing. He was too excited about this giant coginitive leap he was in to waste time sleeping. The regression is not due to bad mothering (wish someone had told my tear-adled self that sooner), but just a phase that the family has to endure.

And we did. It lasted 6 or 8 weeks, if I remember correctly. It's completely possible that your move happening around the same time has aggravated it. A consistent bedtime routine can't hurt. Since I'm strictly in the gentle parenting set (read: no cry-it-out), I ended up just laying down with him at nap/bed time. It was the most painless way - all snuggled next to my little boy. This is a little more of a trick with the new baby now - but that's my problem, not yours! But one day he didn't wake up in the middle of sleeping anymore. It was nothing I did or didn't do. Just something he had to grow out of.

My 2 cents.

Good luck, L.
Also a mom to two boys :)

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

he got used to the comfort of having you right there whiel you guys stayed in the hotel. so now he's back in his own room and is probably having some night time separation anxiety. why not try putting a port-a-crib in your room and letting him sleep there. gradually start moving the crib farther away from you until you have him back in his own bed.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

It's crazy, but our oldest son did the same thing around that age too, after being a great "crib sleeper" since he was 6 months old. In our situation there was no changes or anything(somebody said teething, that might be a good point I did not even think about it...dah:)). I still kept putting our son in the crib though and let him cry, only because I was 7 months preg and sick as a dog, and since my husband was working 80 hours a week, I had nothing left by the end of the day. He ended up climbing out of the crib at 21 months, we started laying down with him to go to sleep.....ah it went down the hill from there:)(he still would not sleep by himself)
But anyways, check if your son is teething(they have great tablets for it) or maybe he is ready for toddler bed???
I know I am not big help here:(

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