Miscarriage :(,... What to Expect...

Updated on May 08, 2013
K.R. asks from Puyallup, WA
19 answers

Hello Moms

I discovered at my 10 week Dr. apt last week that our baby no longer had a HB & was measuring about 9 weeks, I have decided to give my body the time to "do things naturally". More than a week has past and I have started to have intense back & menstrual cramps in the evening for the last 2 evenings... But nothing else ... I was wondering if anyone can give me any insight on what to expect.

My OBGYN has given me some medication for pain and nausea, & she wont be concerned about needing the D&C until 1 month passes. She also has left the option open for D&C at any time if I feel I don't want to wait.

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

ive heard itsjust like an intense heavy period.
I had to have the d and c after 2 weeks because nothing happened on its own. i was 12 weeks and the heartbeat stopped at 11 weeks

2 moms found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I'm very sorry to hear this.

I went through this in November. I opted for the D&C. I wanted to get it over with quickly. My kids didn't know about the baby, so I didn't want to be bleeding a ton and be stuck in the bathroom all day or all night and have them wonder what was going on.

The D&C wasn't bad. I had some cramping the same day, and a little the next day. I had some bleeding for about a week afterwards (like a heavier than usual period)

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Mommie:

I'm sorry. I really am sorry.

I think I would go to my doctor and schedule the D&C and get it over with. I give you many kudos for trying to handle it naturally.

As the back pain and cramps continue - expect bleeding and larger clots....maybe other things...please talk to your doctor about what to expect. It can be distressing to see things in the toilet or in your underwear....

Remember not to use tampons. Use pads only. If you bleed through a pad in one hour - you need to go to the emergency room.

I'm sorry for your loss.

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P.N.

answers from Denver on

I'm so very sorry for your loss.
This will most definitely not be like a heavy period. You have substantial amounts of tissue inside your body, and will likely pass some things that will force you to the bathroom for up to an hour at a time.

I'm with WildWoman here-schedule the D&C. It is completely painless, and you don't have to have your heart broken over and over as your body passes all the fetal tissue and uterine contents.

I'm infintely glad that I chose that over naturally miscarrying with my twins.
(((hugs))))

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

So sorry for your loss. I've been in your shoes twice. I'd get the D&C. Naturally can take a very long time and be very painful not only physically, but emotionally. Hugs to you.

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J.O.

answers from Corvallis on

Hi,
I'm sure you have gotten a lot of great responses already. I am SO sorry for your loss. About two years ago now I had a miscarriage at about the same time as you are experiencing. Like you I experienced some cramping, then some bleeding. One night I woke up and felt ill - nauseous and like I needed to get to the bathroom. I got up used the bathroom - sorry if I get too graphic for you - passed what appeared to be a large clot. I went into the kitchen because I was thirsty and still feeling ill. Suddenly a wave of nausea came over me and I ended up vomiting in the sink. I felt a wave of sadness come over me because I knew it was over... it is all very sad. Then it just seemed like a normal period followed.

I applaud you for letting your body do what it knows how to do rather than relying on modern medicine to do it for you (and that's coming from a doctor =))

Over the next couple of months, be extra gentle with yourself, the miscarriage was not your fault and your body and mind will need time to adjust to the change.
Take care.
-Jenn

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M.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Sending (((hugs)))) your way. I am so sorry you are going through this loss.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I am so very sorry. I am saying a prayer for peace for you. Like the other mama's I would say make the appt. otherwise it will be so h*** o* you. not just the physical but the emotional to go through i t over and over till it is all done.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I went through this not too long ago and I am very sorry that you have to do the same. Everyone is different, so it's hard to say whether or not what is best for you to do. I had mine naturally and it was very painful, physically and even more so emotionally. If heaven forbid I had to go through it again, I would opt for the D&C. Good luck to you mama and God Bless.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I'm just sending you hugs (hugs)

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C.B.

answers from Reno on

I am so sorry for your loss. I went through this once and I chose the D&C.
I am sending prayers your way

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❤.I.

answers from Albuquerque on

So sorry for your loss. I've been there. I decided to let it pass naturally. Every experience is different. When I went throught it, it started as bad cramping and then I just felt something drop so I knew it was happening, (can't really explain it) this was in the middle of the night. I took the brunt of it that night (I didn't look into the toilet). After that it was like a heavy period for about a week and my levels were down to 01 after that week. Your OB is probably going to want to follow your levels down to 0. I wanted to avoid a D&C, I think letting it pass naturally helped bring some closure. Sounds like you're pretty close since you're cramping. Wishing you the best, take care.

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O.O.

answers from Kansas City on

Oh...wow... So very sorry.
I had 3?mc with D&CS for two of them. ( the first was very very early on & I didn't realize what had happened til later.
I just couldn't bear to let it linger on like that...that was me...you do what's best for you. I'm sorry, can't help with what to expect in this situation. Just wanted to offer support & sympathy.

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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm so very, very sorry. :(

I'd consider the D&C. (Been there, at 12 weeks.) Not as traumatic or emotionally overwhelming. I honestly couldn't wait up to a month. Prayers and best wishes.

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B.E.

answers from Washington DC on

I had a 12 week miscarriage. I took cytotec to induce. It was painful but bearable. What was so h*** o* me was feeling the baby and stuff come out and seeing it in the toilet. Not knowing what to do or think. It was pretty horrible but I think it did bring some closure a d&c might not bring. I'm not sure but I'd probably do the same if I had another. Whatever you decide it would help to talk online and in person if possible to women who have been through what your going through. It helps and you will find most women have. :( **hugs** <3 it takes time to heal but you will feel better. It helped me to plant a tree and get a statue as a memorial.

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L.M.

answers from Seattle on

I am very sorry for your loss. I went through this @ 10 weeks as well. My doc advised me to wait it out and let it pass naturally. The lab tech who did my ultrasound advised me of the D&C option. I was so relieved, I didn't have to wait it out or anticipate it. I could move on and try again and not have to witness the loss, which was too Much for me to bear. I found another OB and w/in 5 days of finding out, I had the D&C. Some cramping the following couple days, but very bearable. This is what worked best for me, even though my doc didn't support it. Our friend opted for the natural way and she ended up hemorraging and wishes she wouldve done the D&C. You have to do what's best for YOU. I just know waiting can be absolutely tramatic. I'm glad you have a doc who gives you options (unlike mine). Hugs to you. Best wishes.

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My heart goes out to you for your loss. I, too, went through this at 12 weeks along. I chose the D&C because my doctor said it was the easiest and least painful way to go vs. naturally (drawn out and painful) or they can also give you a drug. My SIL did the drug, however, and she said it was excruciating hell and she'd never do that again. Sending you hugs and strength.

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L.*.

answers from Houston on

I too miscarried 2 yrs ago at 8 weeks. I'm still sad abt it as it was a fiasco to get preg in the 1st place. (We did IVF) no HB ever was present & even though the doc wanted 2 do a D&C I said I'd like to wait & have it pass on its own. I experienced the same symptoms & passed a large clot. Sorry for your loss.

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C.S.

answers from Seattle on

I am so sorry for your loss. I wanted to respond as I see you have received a lot of information on D&Cs, but not a lot of personal experiences of doing it naturally. I miscarried at 9 weeks at home. Since then I have given birth naturally and it felt very similar. My miscarriage was much less intense and was a lot quicker than giving birth. It felt like immense menstrual cramps that would not go away and ibuprofen didn't help. I felt pressure, so ran to the bathroom and passed a lot of blood and tissue. This is one of the things I remember being surprised by, just how much blood there was. I did not look in the toilet, I didn't need to know. It lasted for a couple of hours of feeling crampy, feeling pressure, running to the bathroom and feeling ok, then repeating. I then passed some tissue a few days few days later. I remember my doctor saying it's not fun to do this at home. It wasn't. But, I also wasn't waiting and waiting for it to happen. I think if I had gone for much longer, I may have opted for a D&C, but am happy my body acted quickly, so I didn't need to make the decision. I also googled for women's experiences. I can't find the site now, but I found one with all kinds of experiences. it was helpful to just hear what others went through, so I wasn't too surprised. In the end, it wasn't too bad and it gave me confidence that I could handle natural birth in the future. Good luck with your decision.

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