"Lost" Pacifier, Now 2 1/2 Year Old Fights Bedtime

Don't give her back the paci. Don't rock her. Don't change her diaper. Don't take her to big bed. Give her the giraffe, the night lights and leave the door open.

You really have to let her get past this. If you waver, you'll have more issues with bedtime. If you stand firm and tell her it's time for bed and walk out, and don't go back in, then she will learn. If she gets out of bed, walk her back without a word. Over and over. Don't give in.

Good luck,
Dawn

The problem you have, is you already took it away. There really is no going back. If you do, then the fight will be even harder next time. She is fighting, because she wants it. Upon return, what has that taught? To fight harder. Giving it back will be WORSE the next time you would attempt to take it.

I think you just stay the course. She WILL realize, that you aren't giving it back. She may need a new nighttime routine, if her pacifier was a big part of that. When she begs for things, just put her back in bed. We went through a period of time like that, with my son. I would first tell him, that he needs to go to bed. The second time I would just say, "Bed time." Then, "bed." Then, nothing. It's exhausting to keep putting them in bed, but it does teach them a process. It does not take too long.

I know a lot of people say to quit it cold turkey, but I know my kids, and I can tell you that at least for our family, that would add a lot more stress to our lives than relief. I weaned my son off his paci over the course of several weeks, and it went beautifully, with no sleep interruptions. I plan on doing the same thing with my daughter. I don't know your daughter - only you do. But you might consider whether weaning would be less traumatic.

If you told her it was lost, could she be holding out hope that it will be found again? Just a thought that maybe you could "find" it, explain to her what a great job she did this week without it, have some sort of a final good-bye (maybe in a build-a-bear so it is never "lost" again?) and then move on?

Good luck!

Only idea I have is to maybe try 'finding' Paci but cut the tip off. She can have it for comfort, but may decide to give it up herself when it doesn't bring the same comfort.

Otherwise, just stay strong...she will come around if you don't give in.

There's no going back at this point. My daughter only wanted this ONE paci, that was discontinued. Trust me, I looked high and low and cursed Gerber many a time. When she bit through the sacred paci, that was it. She would take no substitutes, so we were forced to wean her off. It was bad for a couple of weeks, but she soon started to adjust. Hang in there. Just take her back bed, say night-night, love you, and repeat. It sucks right now but it will be ok. :)

Perhaps you can take her to choose a NEW lovey. Tell her that since her pacifier is gone, you would like to get her something a big girl can sleep with, and she gets to help choose it.
Then do it.

Keep going don't give in & buy a new one.Do your routine for bedtime leaving her door open is that an issue with you,turning on a nite light is common this age goes away closer to 4 for some reason when mine hit 21/2 closer to 3 for about a year the afraid of the dark happens not to make a big deal of it it will only feed into the childs fear of being afraid of the dark.When she comes in for a visit ask her what can I do for you hugs and kisses then walk her back to her room tuck her in then leave.

Since you lied to her and told her it was lost, she probably thinks there's a chance it will be found again. So find it. Then you have to be honest with her and tell her that it's time to stop using them and replace them with something else.

The lie is the root of your entire problem. I guarantee it.

You cannot go back. You need to come up with a a good bedtime routine and just really make it like clockwork and do not let her lead to distractions.

Quiet dinner, calm dim bath. with lots of good rubs, like a massage. Her room darkened and maybe some quiet music. no running around or tickles, no TV sounds in the other room.. just calm.. Then read her a story.. with dim light or with a book light. Do not engage her.. rub her back.. our daughter liked her head or ears rubbed.

Kiss her good night, make sure she is tucked in with her lovey and tell her it is time for sleep.

Do you close her door or have a gate? Just quietly walk her to her bed and and again just say, time for sleep. Stay as calm as possible.

Hang in there mama! It will get better. Hard to see it now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I would like others suggested start a new bedtime routine. Perhaps with a story. Just make sure you keep the same routine going. Also when she gets out of bed don't allow her to do any of those things, address all possible issues before hand.

For better or for worse, our DS never took to a paci, so we didn't have to wean him off of one. I just want to warn you about creating new sleep associations which are going to be difficult to break. Be careful about the amount of opportunities you allow for her to get out of bed, as this might institute a new, and undesireable routine.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

My son had one and the last one. The nipple part came off and he was crying. I told him that Binky was all gone. He cried for several days but I did not buy another one.

It is rough when there is change but it will work. Just don't give in. As others have said start or change the bed tiem routine a bit. Don't let her get in your bed because you will be writing us on how to get her out of the bed. Walk her back to her bedroom. If need be put up a baby gate so she stays in the room and doesn't wonder the halls at night. It is time to learn how to self soothe.

Be strong and be tough. Be a united front so she can't get between you.

Good luck. This too shall pass.

The other S.

If you still have it, toss it so you won't be tempted to give it back ;)

Set limits, if she didn't exhibit certain behaviors before let her know not to do them now. Don't answer her when she calls out, except to say good night, so she can develop new self-soothing techniques on her own, rather then needing you and daddy to soothe her.

And what about telling her that now that she's a big girl that doesn't use a paci anymore she can pick out a new big girl toy? Sometimes moving forward needs a little help.

i don't have to be a dictator over a pacifier. I learned the hard way that if a child wants to suck on something bad enough they'll find a finger or a toy to suck on. I'd rather have them suck on a pacifier that is shaped to their mouth than a finger that is connected and harder to get rid of when they even get older. Plus their thumb will really really really make their mouth mis-shaped.

I say make life easier, give her the pacifier or be prepared to try breaking her of thumb sucking for the next few years.