Life Before Kids... the Things We Said We'd NEVER DO

Updated on July 20, 2010
L.P. asks from Uniontown, PA
26 answers

What things have you done with your children that, prior to having children, you said you'd NEVER do?

Before having a child, the only thing I really knew about babies' sleep was that allowing them to sleep with you was a complete NO NO, it caused SIDS, sleep problems, etc., it ruined your marriage, and it was utterly dangerous and stupid. Then my son was born. As it went, he never spent a single night in his crib. To date. And he's 4 1/2. We have co-slept since he was born. Partly for sanity, partly because I love it. I SWORE I'd never do it... but...

What heinous parenting NO NO have you done? :)

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M.L.

answers from Erie on

I said I'd never be one of those "crazy" moms that yells at their kids in the middle of a store. Well guess what? I now know what makes "those" moms crazy and I'm proud to say that I'm one of them! haha

3 moms found this helpful
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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I would never put a harness on my child... oh the weirded out stares I would give parents who did! Then I had a two year old who did NOT want to hold anyones hand while out for a while, running around like a little maniac... and really those monkey backpacks didn't seem so bad any more.

Also: working full time with a child under 3. No choice, someone's got to pay the bills.

You do what you have to.

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3.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I swore that my baby would "learn" to stay with grandma/grandpa or other trusted sitters so that we would have a "life" . I won't be one of those over protective moms......

Well my son is 2.5 has never spent the night away from us, and my "life" is him. We leave him to go out to dinner and I feel guilty the whole time and miss him. Even when he's driving me to the brink of insanity :)

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K.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Licked my finger, then wiped his face. Never thought it was possible.

7 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

ROFL... oh this is a GOOD one.

- TV & Computer. Thank the powers that be for them.

- Homeschool before middleschool. I'd always planned on taking him out in middleschool... but wanted the early childhood ed taken care of first, and his brain developed more so we could go "deeper" and have "fun" with subjects. I can't even EXPRESS how wonderful and amazing HS'ing starting in the end of K has been for the past 2 years. SO much fun!!!

- Be a SAHP. I've worked at least 20hrs per week since I was 11. Full time since I was 14. My mum was a "housewife" and the entire idea terrified me. I couldn't imagine it with anything except revulsion. And I absolutely LOVE and ADORE it. Rofl... go figure.

I sometimes look around me and think to myself "I've got everything I NEVER wanted, and am ridiculously happy."

5 moms found this helpful
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N.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wipe my child’s nose with MY clothes instead of theirs. Before I was a Mom, I saw a mom wipe her son’s nose with her shirt one time and I thought it was SO gross. She didn’t have any tissue handy, but she didn’t want to get his snot on his clothes. I get it now….

I’m a Mom of 2 kids…Been there, done that.

BTW, I co-slept with both my kids from birth (currently with my 4 year old)!! Wouldn't have had it any other way!

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

My husband and I had date-night every Friday, and I promised that I would keep it going after the baby was born. OTHER mothers might be reluctant to leave their babies with a sitter, but not me. Well, my husband and I still have date-night of a sort - we do carry-out and eat together one night during the weekend sans baby. But I have never hired a baby-sitter in my life, and I'm not ready to do it yet, either. Oops. I am that mother.

4 moms found this helpful

Y.C.

answers from New York on

Wow, where should I start, lol.
-I am never going to use stupid words like baba instead of bottle.
-I am never going to let my self go (I haven't cover my grays in 2 months!!)
-I will never use "Because I say so"
-I am NOT going to be like my mom was with me (lol, yeaa right)
-I am not going to let my kids watch TV
-I never said I wasn't going to eat from my baby's plate, only because I never thought it was even possible
-When my daughter has a boyfriend I am going to respect it even if I don't like him (my mom didn't like the "love of my life"..hmm, what was his name?) I haven't really going Through this one yet but I have see my daughter looking at a boy at school...are you serious? She deserves better, lol.
My kids are just 12 and 2, ask me in a couple years I probably will fill the whole page, lol
-

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K.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Before my Husband and I had children of our own, he always whispered back and forth to eachother all the little things that annoyed us when visitng friends and relatives, and sweared we'd never let our children;
- Leave the table during dinner and come back for a bite here and there.
- Eat in the living room while watching t.v.
- Make a separate meal just for them.
- Go outside without clothes on. Our son won't swim with trunks on. We're working on that : )

Sometimes I have to remind myself to choose my battles. If he's being good and getting what he needs, than what's the harm. They're only little for so long!

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J.F.

answers from Toledo on

I would NEVER push a shopping cart through the grocery store with a screaming baby and/or toddler in it, and anyone who does (did) is a very inconsiderate and selfish person***********Then reality set in, lol. My first two were great shoppers (and still are at 9 & 6), but my 2 y/o and 8 m/o are a whole different story, lol. It takes so much planning and prep work to make even the smallest trip to the store, I'm certainly not going to leave because "the princess" decides to throw a fit...I don't give a damn how annoying it is to everyone else around me :)

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I always said I would NEVER do the things my parents did to me growing up...until last week I found myself calling home to remind my kids to get their chorse done so we could have fun once I got home from work. They enjoy to help clean up the house and make the meals, because it gets us outside sooner, or on rainy days it gets the board games or WII's out sooner. I am still a little kid at heart though, and LOVE to do kids things with my kids...though I have turned into my mother. Which I have to say is one of the best things that could have happened to me or my kids, even though they won't see it until later on!

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

I SWORE I was NEVER going to let my child run around in only a diaper. Well, my daughter is 18 months, in Dallas heat. It turns out watermelon and other snacks are just easier to clean up when she's outside in only a diaper. haha I also swore I would be the cool mom and be smoking hot in a bikini mere months after my daughter was born. I am still working on that one although I still will NEVER WEAR MOM JEANS! :) haha

2 moms found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

LOL. I used to live with my friend and her daughter. The little girl used to offer her slobbered on food to me, it was sweet, but totally grossed me out. I always said I would never take slobbery food from my baby. And of course, as we speak, she's handing me her cherrios. =)

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My kids from day one slept in their cribs and I put them in their awake. From birth they slept 12 hours straight until they were almost 3!

However, the first week home from the hospital, my son would wake up at 1:30 every morning and I thought "what is wrong with him???". So I called the doc, after laughing at me, he said to try a pacifier. I was NEVER going to use a pacifier...I hated them and didn't wany MY kid to be running around with one hanging out of his mouth. My daughter never needed one so I didn't think my son would either. Well, I tried it and it worked! And my worst nightmare came true! HE LOVED IT! I couldn't get rid of it until he was almost FIVE! So I swore my kids would not have one and it ended up that one did!

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I said I would let a baby cry it out. Then I had my 3 and I never let them cry for long. I never saw a reason not to comfort my children and to rock them to sleep.

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J.J.

answers from Erie on

This doesn't give you any No No's but it is my favorite email.......

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or knew the words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

I was always going to dress my daughter in the cutest clothes. Well she now wants to dress herself. She will be three in October. I fought with her and now I just let her pick out whatever she wants to wear. Sometimes it is a little scary what she picks out but hey as long as she is dressed. My mom said she fought with me too and that my daughter would be the same way, and now she is.

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C.S.

answers from Columbus on

Let's see...

I, too swore I'd never let a baby sleep in my bed. Then I had my daughter and found out how wonderful the family bed is.

I said I'd never lick my thumb and wipe it on her face to clean something off...done that!

I said that I'd never have the tv on when my baby was awake...oops!

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

GREAT post!

I said I'd never cosleep or put a baby on his/her belly to sleep. We've coslept (part-time as I call it) with my daughter since she was three months old! She still crawls into bed with us in the middle of the night! My son (does not like cosleeping) has only slept on his belly since he was three days old!

I said I would never leave my kid(s) in the car to run in and get milk. Did that one time and ran into a friend and felt HORRIBLE that I explained my daughter was sitting in the running car outside waiting for me. Luckily we live in a small town but STILL! Have not/will not do that again!

I said I would only use spanking when there is immense threat/danger (running out into the street, touching a hot stove, etc) with my kids. I have spanked my daughter a few times for other things. Not proud of it, but true.

I haven't used one to this day but I always said I would never use a harness on a child...but now that I have two small kids, I realize how much they probably work!

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K.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I bribe my children all the time. Not for big things, like don't run into the street and I'll give you a candy bar, but minor things. Like eat your dinner and you get dessert. Pee on the potty and you get a Hershey kiss. Sleep in your own bed for a week and you can get a new Wii game. There are a ton of rules I don't follow, but right now that's the big one.

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N.H.

answers from Harrisburg on

I remember watching my sister let her kids play with things like knick knacks, etc and damage them and I remember thinking that she should just discipline them - I'll never do that! Yeah, right. Now I figure if it entertains them and whatever they're playing with isn't too expensive or irreplacable I let them play with it and sometimes they do destroy/damage. Anything I don't want them to play with I put where they can't see or get to. There are a few things I can't remove from the room that they can't touch and it's hard enough to get them away from those things - I choose my battles!

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E.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

This is an interesting question, and I've enjoyed reading the responses. I'm pretty much the mom I though I would be. I wish I were more patient, or less easily frustrated, but that's just me-- they didn't implant a patience chip when they took my son out! We did an enormous amount of research before my son was born, and I've babysat since I was 12, so there haven't been too many surprises-- since we've been very lucky and he's healthy and developing typically. I'm glad we didn't have too many "hard and fast" expectations-- can't break them if you don't have them! :-) We just try to go with the flow here...

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

Well first and foremost.........i have to correct your former "kidless' self....the incidents of sids are signifigantly lower in babies that bed with mommy.

can you tell im a avid supporter of bedding with baby!

I said id never make my daughter eat what she didnt want to(my parents made me eat things we all found out i was actually allergic to), but sometimes i buy all her favorite foods and she no longer wants them and ill say 'too bad" (whoops)

I swore id never cuss in front of my child (whoops)

I swore my kids would never walk in on me having sex(whoops),,, that one is so embarrassing btw

1 mom found this helpful

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

We never said never on the co-sleeping, but we did it just like you. I wouldn't have done a thing differently because it worked very nicely for us. Something I cockily always proclaimed before having a child is that I wouldn't change my lifestyle for my child. HA!!! Of course I did just that -- and willingly -- after our daughter was born. :)

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

I said I would never let my son cry himself to sleep and that we would co-sleep, but after months of sleep depravation with a baby who didn't like sleeping with anyone (or even sleeping in general) I found myself unwilling/unable to get out of bed and just let him cry himself to sleep in his crib. I felt terribly guilty and oh, so beautifully rested in the morning! My mom always bragged about never letting us cry ourselves to sleep, but then she confessed that 2 of the 3 came home from the hospital sleeping through the night and it took my brother 2 whole months! We're having a second here soon and I'm not going to feel guilty this time--if it wasn't for CIO we would certainly have an only child...and I'm not kidding in the least.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

hm i have pretty much done what i knew i would do. like never hire a sitter. never have.
or make home cooked meals-i always do.
wash their clothes every day even though they have clothes for every second of the day.
but one thing, one thing i said i would never do is 'deal with buggers.'
they gross me out so bad. i do it of course but afterwards i gag pretty bad.
the bugger thing. totally gross

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