IF You Could Tell 1 Person off Who Would It Be and What Would You Say?

Updated on April 02, 2011
S.!. asks from Boulder, CO
22 answers

I feel like venting today and have no one to vent to. So, lucky mammas... who has an ear to lend? My SIL is driving me batty. She is a very self centered person and with my own 3 children I just really do not have time for her immaturity and silliniess. So, if I could just tell her how I really felt and not worry what family drama I would create with it this is what I would say:

"It is is a bit ridiculous to thik that I am "mad" or "jealous" that you are pregnant. I married a man with 2 brothers and 1 sister. Do you really think that I would expect no one else to have children? I am not like you. I do not tell people how to live their lives or what to do with their lives. So get over yourself, grow up, and realize you will be responsable for someone else in the next few months besides yourself!!"

This vent is bc she is still mad that we didnt tell her about our kids tubes being put in or tonsils removed. She has called my husband crying and MIL and I have had to hear it from everyone else how mean we were to keep it from her. Really... we only told the grandmparents b/c we didn't think it was a big deal. She is also mad b/c we don't call her daily to check in on her b/c she is pregnant. She is 32.. sorry, thought she was a big girl, lol. (And there is way more to the story then everyone knows, so please no "give her a break")

So, to the main question... if you could tell somebody off who would it be and what would you say?

Have a nice day!

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So What Happened?

Lucky - you are right. I have absolutely no intentions to ever saying this. But the question is more focused on who would you be ale to tell off it you could with no problems to deal with after the fact.

thanks.

Dawn B - Yes... she has always been this way. She made her parents take a 2nd mortgage out for her wedding when she was married at age 30 just b/c "she is the only daughter". She always has to have things her way and she is the type of person who only compliments someone just to get hte compliment about herself back.

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A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I would love to be able to tell my 2 year old that I really don't give a rats a** that his cousin is touching his stuff.

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R.L.

answers from Roanoke on

This gets the star for favorite post of the day.

To 2 coworkers in their late 30's, who I just told I am pregnant:

Stop telling me horror stories and that I don't know what I'm getting into!! And STOP telling me I'm too young to have kids! I'm 26, married, a homeowner, with a master's degree and a good job for goodness sake, so maybe the time is RIGHT for US! Just because you waited until you were 38 to have kids doesn't mean that I will be so unprepared and know nothing about having a child!! So be happy for me or SHUT UP!

Whew. I do feel better.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

The PhD who I sort-of work for...

You're a snivelling, backhanded little troll, and I hate your guts! You try to act so nice in person, when other people are around, but then the minute you get back to your little cubicle you send off a vicious, disrespectful email and cc everyone, making me out to be a total slacker and you to be totally perfect. There's a reason your family is a shambles, and your professional career is a wreck, and your Dean has pulled your funding...AND IT'S YOU!!! Look in the mirror, you smug, cowardly, brown-nosing. subhuman prig.

Whooo! I feel better now! :D

10 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I have a beast of a SIL too. I have been choking on some choice words meant especially for her. I would never do it, out of respect for my brother. But I could singe her eyebrows with the stuff I'd like to say.

My step dad kept all my mothers jewelry when she died. Including her wedding ring. She was adamant and vocal our whole lives that she wanted me, her only daughter, to have her wedding ring when she died, to pass it down. I don't want to be petty and start arguments about "things" so I dont say anything. But don't you know I've got a few things to say to that miserable old bastard.

I'll hold my tongue and hope Karma takes care of those two.

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M.D.

answers from San Angelo on

I actually have told people off. Honestly, I imagined they would be shocked, angry, hurt, and then repentant and change. The repentance and change never once happened and now I understand why people say never to do this. Also, I imagined they would stop crossing boundaries once they heard what I really thought. I still have to say "It is not appropriate for you to question my sex life with your son. It is not appropriate for you to try to call our doctors, childrens' teachers, church leaders, neighbors, friends, or relatives for the purpose of being more involved in our lives."

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Y.C.

answers from New York on

Well, of course I have my own thing with my no so nice In-laws, but to be honest, what ever it needed or wanted to say I have done it.
So if I would have to say something, I am like Theresa, it will have to be myself.
Something like:
"come on, get your butt out of mamapedia and keep packing!"
or
Did you really HAD to eat all those butterfingers last night! Really? I don't think so! Give me 10 push ups now!!!

Anyway, good for you to vent, probably better then scream at her... I know so for a fact...but it felt sooo good, lol.

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

Hmmm, I'm not really mad at anyone but myself.

But if I stood in front of the mirror and had it out with myself, from the next room you would hear mostly BLEEP BLEEP and BLEEPIN' BLEEP!

:)

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

What is it with the SIL's? I've had issues with mine since before I got married. I'm coming up on 19 years in May! My SIL married to get out of the house from an abusive and dysfunctional family. I'm fully blessed that my husband (her brother) is nothing at all like her. I have vented to my SIL through letters, with my husband's approval and blessing. She married a man from a family of money yet she moans about being broke. She lives about 45 minutes from us, never visits, never calls. Dropped off Christmas presents on our front door and then called us after they drove away to let us know that "our gifts were at the door." How rude.

I am currently pregnant with our 4th baby. We never intended to have more than 3 children, but this is what God has blessed us with. I am due in 4 weeks. When my husband called his sister months ago when we found out I was pregnant, her response was the following, "Oh, I always knew your wife never wanted to work." No congratulations. I've been a full time SAHM for 11 years and I have loved every moment of it and I am truly grateful that my husband not only has a job that is so secure to support our growing family on his income, but he supports me wanting to be home with our children. I told my husband I do NOT want his sister showing up at the hospital after I have this baby. She has had no interest in any of our 3 children....but if she does somehow find out when I am in the hospital, I have given my husband fair warning that I will NOT hold back my tongue because this is what I would say to her:

"You have never been interested in our lives, nor the lives of the children that your brother and I have made together. My staying home to care for my children is MY business, not yours. Why the heck do you care so much if I work or not? You could have stayed home with your baby but you yourself told me that being home with an infant was boring and you couldn't wait to go back to work when your baby was only 6 weeks old. How selfish you are! You've seen your niece...now get out of my room!"

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T.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

For my MIL: BUTT OUT!!!!

7 moms found this helpful
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S.

answers from Chicago on

To my old crotch of a neighbor,

Stop staring out your window at us. Stop writing complaint letters about every single solid rule that I break, most of which I don't even know are rules. Stop causing me to rack up hundreds of dollars in fines because of those broken rules. Stop yelling shut up out your window when my kids, dog & I play outside. Stop staring at us when you walk to get your mail. In general, get a life and stay out of ours.

Your consideration & prompt attention to these matters are much appreciated.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

She is being very hormonal...Let it go......I think you did yourself a world of good by writing it down and sharing it to anonymous!

Ok you want me to say this here goes. To My DH's niece when they were just a family of four and they stayed with us a few years back...this is an issue again.
Dear So and So, No you and your 4 children all under the age of 10 can not stay with us for nine days. The last time you stayed with us, you did not pick up after yourself. You put your uncle and I on the spot to watch your kids, you ate all of our food and had the audacity to shake an empty milk carton at me expecting me to replace it when it was your family using everything! While you may be nice people, you take advantage of your extended family just becasue you were irresponsible with money. You chose to travel now suck it up and get a hotel and take care of your children without draining us of our resources because you don't have money. We are not a bed and breakfast, hotel, old country buffet. We are a family home with our own responsibilities and we don't need to take care of an additional 6 people. I am too old for your chaos.. Get a clue.

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

Oooooh... my sh!t list is so long, BUT, if I had to pick ONE person, and I've never met her in person, it would be the girl who survived the car crash that killed my fiances sister. There were 3 girls in the car, and only one survived, and she says she doesn't know who was driving (not even if SHE was driving)... My FIL and fiance never had any closure for her death, and this girl continues to try to include herself in their lives, trys to be friends with them on facebook and sends cards for every occasion. Every time she does this, it's pouring salt on still open wounds. I wantthis b!tch to back the effe up, and go away. I hope the guilt kills her. My gut tells me SHE KNOWS WHO WAS DRIVING, and I'd bet my soul it was HER. Hate is a strong word that I never use to talk about my feelings toward someone, but I hate this girl with every ounce of my soul. She knows. She's just too selfish to give the grieving family closure, and tries to get close to them to hide ____@____.com. Sorry for the language ;)

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

To my MIL-
you're a crazy old woman and you need to mind your own business!! I can't believe you have the audacity to truly think that everybody owes you something. Always looking for a hand-out, huh? You think we ALL should just drop what we're doing and you sit there running your mouth off about how unfair everything is and you can't even see that all your kids can't stand to be around you. You drive everybody friggin' nuts with your selfishness. You're a manipulator, a deceiver, and a black cloud in everybody's day. Your son gets in a bad mood whenever he has to see you, your daughter can't stand to be near you, you daughter in law ( me ) wants to claw her eyes out when she hears your name, your oldest grandson won't even speak to you. You don't even know how toxic you are. You think you know EVERYTHING when you clearly don't. !!

Whewwww......ok now I feel better. I normally don't go off like that, but this was my chance. ;)))

Thanks.

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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

as of today- right now my Sister-
Dear Dear sister-
If you nominate me to have a family party at my house at least have the decency to pick up after yourself and take care of your own whinny sniveling little kids. Bring your own food, or teach your kids/husbands some manners. Also My son is NOT a bully yours are just wusses....If they decide to play football with the boys they are going to fall down, get knocked down, get grass stains. Seriously learn the phrase-"walk it off" and quit looking at me like I should do something about it I am raising boys not girlie men!!!

yep feel better.

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

If I could tell one person off it just might be my daughter. Or, maybe it should be myself! Have you ever let someone talk you into something that you KNEW was wrong? We have a virus working it's way through my daycare. I've had 3 become sick in one week. With 4 on days and 4 on nights and 4 on weekends, this is quite a few little ones for it to work through. Add my family and my daughter, we are just getting started. I'm trying to keep everyone well. So I was going to keep everyone in, resting, watching movies, drinking orange juice and HOPING to just get through the day.

Well along comes my 20 year old little mamma..... She guilts me by telling me over and over how nice it is outside, warm, the kids need out, I'm just lazy, etc... I tried to tell her that if anyone was about to get sick taking them out would bring it to a head. Sure enough. Just a little while outside and I have a very white faced, nauseous, head achy little girl with a fever of 100.4. That's not even enough to send her home per state standards. But she's laying down miserable and I've let her mom know that she'll likely be needing to go home if her fever spikes or if she does start vomiting.

Grrr... I just hate being guilted when I ought to know what I'm doing after 25 years in business!

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J.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

half the people who responded to my last post. And I already did it in the update.

4 moms found this helpful

C.F.

answers from Boston on

I think today it would have to be Myself :-( "WHY do you Speak without thinking sometimes, WHY say something if you have nothing nice to say at all, WHY would you stoop to someone else 'level', WHY dont you follow your own advice and Treat others the way you want to be treated?"
Ever want to just Start the Day all over again??? Can I have 're do' please....

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A.F.

answers from Tyler on

My next door neighbor that I have not spoken to since last August. She had a fight with another neighbor while I was on vacation and texted me that our friendship was over too (ok, I was not in this fight in any way, shape, form or fashion). I asked for an explation and never got one. Still do not know why. The other neighbor has no contact with her either and is unsure how I got in this also, the fight was with her about her kids ~ not me or mine, we were 8 hours away from the event that transpired that day. We have all been friends for a long time and as much as I don't want to care I do, at least to the extent of why? Why did our friendship mean so little that you refuse to tell me why you ended it? Why do you refuse to even tell my son hi or wave back at him when he thought of you as a Grandparent?

And I can't believe your SIL is still harping on this subject! How much longer until she has her baby, then she will have other things to occupy her time : )

Next would be my SIL, because she just needs an intervention. She is letting my MIL ruin her financially. She has nothing to do with the finances and he doesn't pay the bills... collection agencies... law suits.... etc... and trust me she makes more than he does, but feels if she takes over now it will show a lack of trust in him? Excuse me he lost that and it needs to be earned back. Ok, I left out a lot of details, but you get the picture.

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R.C.

answers from Boston on

This is just for fun, in the spirit of the site. Thanks so much for asking!!

Dear xxxxxxx,
I did not get up today thinking about how many ways I could make you really angry at me. I do not want to always have to think about what mood you are in before I say anything. I have feelings, too. I am not your Mother or your counselor. Could you please consider that, just maybe, it is not always about you, and the world really isn't out to get you?
Love, Me

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Bottom line: At the end of the day "telling off" someone is never a productive way to go. Being assertive, yes. Blowing your top? No.

In the case of your SIL, after you tell her you're sorry, you just didn't think it was important enough to mention, the ball's in her court. If she keeps the drama going, that's her choice, but you'll know you've done all you can.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

There is no one I am particularly mad at... but if I could have a blunt conversation with someone it would be my sister. Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out when I am around them. I believe their daughter really needs a sibling, but they really don't need to have any more kids! :)

It would go something like this -
Your daughter is a terror. You know this and so do the rest of us. This is YOUR fault! We all understand that she is your "princess." That is great but she is 3 and walks all over you! It will not get any better as she gets older unless you start acting like parents! Teach her to follow rules. She should be able to sit through a meal without yelling and screaming. She should not be screaming at you and hitting you and spitting at you. Our kids are the same age... do you see our children act like that??? Also... stop complaining about your daughter never sleeping. There is a very simple solution to this - STOP LETTING HER DRINK COKE ALL DAY! She doesn't need soda period, but she certainly doesn't need the caffeine! It is okay if she doesn't get her way... and it will be better for the rest of us too. Also, we invite you to do stuff with us because we want to have a good relationship with your family. If you don't want to join us, we understand. HOWEVER, it gets pretty old that the only time you call us is when you need a babysitter. We would much rather have the aunt/uncle role than the babysitter role.

I don't like to compare our kids, but really, our 2 year is much better behaved. She is a 2 year and definitely has her moments, but we are not afraid to take her out in public. She listens (most of time) and is not allowed to treat us like that. Thanks... it made me feel better. :) I really do have a good relationship with them, but when they get so frustrated with their daughter's behavior I wish I could point out that they are the only ones who change it!

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B.L.

answers from Missoula on

Dear ??????

Thanks to you, I will never see my son again. NO, it is NOT ok to leave a 3 year old alone in the bathtub. Thank you for ruining my life and I hope you have a horrible life!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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