How to Teach Potty Hygiene???

Updated on November 17, 2009
S.S. asks from Glen Burnie, MD
9 answers

My daughter, 3 years old last September, is potty trained. Yay for us. This has, thankfully, been a non-issue for some time. But I have been helping her "wipe" when she goes "big potty," (poop) since forever, and have always taught her to "pat-pat-pat" when she goes pee. Her aim at the pat-pat-pat is painfully ineffective, but I supposed I remember when I was young, I didn't even remember wiping when I went pee as a little girl, lol! Now that she has moved up into a new class room at day care with 3-4 year olds, the teachers don't help them to wipe, and she is coming home with hours-old poop still in her crack. I noticed this at bath time tonight, and I have even spoken with the teachers before about helping her. Either she doesn't tell the teachers that she needs help when she's going, since they have an open potty area (with curtains) in the room, or the teachers just don't notice. The teachers don't individually take the children to the potty, they just remind them to go when they need to go. I am concerned about enteric bacteria causing a bladder infection, or worse, if my daughter scratches herself somehow and fecal material gets in her nails and she doesn't wash her hands properly b/c there is fecal matter there that noone has helped her to wipe away. My request is this. How are you guys helping your kids to FIND their booty to wipe it, and then to wipe it effectively at only 3 years old? When are kids supposed to know how to do this? I am concerned about this because of bacteria and sanitation with the children in the room. I am not happy about this and will be speaking to the director in the morning, especially since I have already spoken with the teachers about this in the room. I hate being the nasty mom, but gawddang! I need accelerated training on tot hygiene. The pottying, again, is no problem. Just the wiping after poop. Ick. Thanks, everyone! :D

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So What Happened?

I spoke with two of the teachers in the morning about ensuring she had her wipes when she went potty due to the poop in her panties the day before, but they weren't the same teachers who work in the evenings. When I came to pick her up in the evening, I asked the evening teacher how things went with pottying. They said they had no idea. I asked if the morning teachers had briefed them on my requests and they said no. I then took her to the potty to relieve herself and to check panties and hygiene status before getting in the car to go home, as one of you suggested. (Great idea, by the way) and LO! Poop in the panties. Poop in the crack. I went to find the wipes, which I had dropped off some three weeks ago, and they were "put away," high on a shelf in a teachers area, and the sticker was still on them. THEY HADN'T EVEN BEEN OPENED. EVER!!!! I was really hot. I opened them, cleaned my daughter, changed her underwear and spoke with the assistant director. She said that they don't wipe the children due to an incident the previous year. "But," I asked, "could they at least ensure they have their wipes.....they were not even within reach, within sight....couldn't they notice when the children GO or when they suggest that the children go, to give them to the children? Some plan must exist to help the children with this!!!" The A. Director said they would talk about this on monday, since it was late Friday evening that I was bringing this to her attention. And I understood that surely everyone wanted to get home. I'll write more later if we ever find the resolution. The resolution may very well be just that my daughter learns to take care of herself, which would be easiest for them, I'm sure, but which is unsettling for me as a paying day care customer.

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C.F.

answers from Washington DC on

The other posters have given a lot of good advice, but I have a few extra thoughts for you. When my girl was learning how to wipe properly, I put my hand behind hers when she went poo, so as to help guide her, etc. I also tell her every time she poos that she needs to wipe her bottom until the toilet paper doesn't have brown on it anymore. Sometimes she'll wipe just fine, but if she only does it once or twice, there's still some poo left behind, kwim? So I try to stress that we wipe until there's no brown on the TP because otherwise she'll have an itchy bottom!
Hope that helps!

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N.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Keep doing what you are doing regarding teaching your daughter to wipe, and then talk to her teachers. Again and again. In my daughter's preschool, (she's 3), there is a sheet posted near the potty with a list of who's trained and who's not, and who needs an assist with #2. Let's face it, your daughter isn't alone in either not being able to wipe, not wanting to, or being in too much of a hurry to be bothered. My daughter is in a cooperative preschool, which is largely parent-run. The parents are all on board with assisting during potty and proper handwashing -- it's part of the co-oper's job.

Also, and this is HUGE in my opinion, proper hand washing is a MUST. She should not be coming home with fecal matter under her nails. If the school is not following the proper tolieting/handwashing guidelines, then they could be fined or shut down. If this situation doesn't improve, I might start wondering about what really goes on during the day, and perhaps maybe look for a new school.

Good luck!

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

As a preschool teacher, I can tell you that I don't help my kids wipe their behinds. I show them how to reach around and wipe and look at the TP to see if it is dirty or clean. If it is dirty, I have them wipe again. Because of licensing standards and a teachers need to protect themselves from any type of accusation, we at our preschool do not help children wipe. Parents have complained in the past, but once I explain the reasoning, they understand. As far as I know, none of the preschools in our area help children wipe. The kids have access to toilet friendly wipes if needed to help clean themselves. I also have taught the kids to really wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Hopefully, your daughter has learned to wash her hands correctly and that is not an issue! Hopefully, I have given you another perspective on this issue.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I had the same problem when my daughter started the three year old class. I brought some of those flushable* wipes to the teacher and I told her why I was bringing them. (I told her that all of the kids could use them). At home, start working with your daughter on wiping her own bottom. She can handle it. Show her how to fold the paper and tell her reach back there and wipe, then repeat with a new piece of tp until she doesn't see any poo on it. I hope this helps.

* Even though they say "flushable" they can still clog up your toilet,so it may be better to have a trash can near the potty to throw them away.

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi

The other poster is correct in that they are not allowed to help wipe the kids , it is the same at my daughters preschool. Daycare centers where they have very young babies/toddlers in diapers the rules/law is different and they can change the diapers. For my daughter whi is almost 4 (has been potty trained since 3) we have taught her to bend right over so that she has 'better access'(sorry)!! and then to use a bathroom wipe rather than paper as this cleans easier and quicker , and then to wash her hands afterwards we have told her to rub her hands together until the soap becomes lot's of bubbles...she thinks this is great!

Hope this helps

K.

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

S., your 3 year old does not have arms long enough to clean herself properly after a bowl movement. No 3 year old has. It is up to us parents and caregivers to lend a helping hand in that area. Eventully between the ages of 4-5 the arms will be long enough and she will have matching motorskills for her to do the job herself. For now ask in her daycare if they help and if not you should go to the restroom with her when you pick her up and see if she needs to be wiped.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I can't believe that your daycare won't assist with wiping. we had taught our daughter to wipe but then it became undone when daycare insisted on wiping for her. I went through 3 daycares between her and my son and all assisted with wiping through the 4/5 yr old rooms. I do not believe a 3 yo is old enough to do this unassisted. in answer to your question, it was right before my daughter started kindergarten that she learned to do this on her own.

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K.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes, kids can be gross...haha. Unfortunately, without them helping her, she has to learn on her own - and luckily she has not had any infections yet (?). Kids are pretty resilient and she will probably be fine - just keep reminding her to wipe front to back and maybe you can tell her to use one hand to open access to her backside and the other to wipe....that might help her get in the crack better...,then keep wiping if it is still dirty. She will get the hang of it - and always always wash!! Teach her to sing happy birthday or another song while she washes her hands so she will do it for long enough....

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

i see your trouble. My daughter is currently 7 yrs old and we STILL have this trouble. She doesn't like to wipe. We have tried to drill it into her head how nasty it is when she doesn't. My daughter puts one hand on the back of the seat and reaches around the back with her other and wipes. I don't believe they will do anything. They should, i believe you are bringing your child there all day everyday and this is a life issue that would be taught at home if she wasn't there. So i would address it for sure. Good luck

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