Hi Moms,
My 6 year old has had a hard time getting to bed at night for a couple of months, and it's out of control after our holiday vacation - she's sometimes up until midnight! We're at a loss because she's always been a good sleeper. No big changes or issues at home or school. She's the same happy kid by day, just unable to fall asleep at night. She gets up for water and to go to the bathroom many times. She complains that she's scared or lonely or sad, but conversations and remedies (leaving night light on, keeping door open, etc.) don't help. We start to get angry at her but that's not helpful either. I don't think she's playing us - I think she is genuinely having a hard time quieting down - but I don't know how to help her. Perhaps her old 7:30/8 bedtime needs to be earlier now that school is more demanding? She wants to sleep in our bed or have me stay with her and rub her head but I can't figure out if this just enables her or is helpful. Realistically I can't sit in her room for hours rubbing her head or have her sleep with me each night. And I don't want to give her bad habits like she can only sleep if she's in my bed or someone massages her for an hour. Anyone gone through this and have any advice? I know it's not the end of the world, but it's problematic for her - she's getting so much less sleep now that school has started again - and for us as we have no alone time. We're getting frustrated and that's not helping either. Would love to hear from others.
Just a long shot--is she consuming caffeine at all (cola, chocilate, etc)?
Is she is 1st grade? Mine is in 2nd and last year he was going to bed between 8:30 and 9. Maybe a little later bedtime?
Do you play any music for her in her room at night? That might be relaxing to her.
I remember going through something similar with my DD when she was about 8 y/o. What I did was make her bedtime a little later but wake her up at the same time every morning. After a few days it helped.
We also bought her a rock garden for her room. The kind with the water flowing. She loved that!
I agree definitely with no T.V, video games or computer at night. At least turn everything off 1 hr. before bed. Is she getting enough exercise? As her body is growing she needs more maybe? I always read books to my kids before bed. It helps relax them. We have a rule of no T.V. at night before bed. I think it over stimulates the brain.
Lavender soap helps sooth her too as well as a light massage after I tuck her in. My DD reads on her own now, but she stills like me to massage her for about 5 minutes after she gets tucked in.
Good luck!
Exercise early in the day makes for better sleeping later on. Make sure her supper is not too close to bed time. Turn off the TV/computer several hours before bedtime - the bright light from the screens can mess up sleep patterns. A cup of warm milk or chamomile tea after supper before tooth brushing and a relaxing bath at the beginning of the bedtime routine followed by reading/story time helps. Make sure she gets up at the same time in the morning whether it's the weekend or not.
I would make sure to do a calming routine, along with dimming lights and no screen time- starting about an hour before bed, and then try putting her to bed at 7. My 10 year old goes to be at 7:30!! Kids this age need a LOT of sleep because they are expending a ton of energy during the day (growing, playing, learning...)
You can also look into melatonin- we have used it with our girls (under recommendation of several doctors, one of who is a sleep medicine MD at CDH.) We give 1/2 a dissolving 2.5 mg tablet each night right before bed and it works like a charm. It does not help you STAY asleep, so no grogginess, etc. and you may still experience night wakings, if that is a problem.
Another thing that might help is to paint her a picture of what the next day will be like, along with her bedtime story, or incorporate the two. We lay out clothes, tell the children what the next day's schedule (meals, etc) will be and they can seem to relax that we have it under control for them and they know what to expect.
Hope this helps,
M.
Now that your daughter is older, you may want to rethink her bedtime and put her to sleep at 8:30 instead. I suspect that you are putting her to sleep too early and that is why she is waking up in the middle of the night. My daughter is 6 also and her bedtime is between 8:30 or 9. This seems to work well for her.
OMG, you could be describing my daughter who is now 10. She was recently diagnosed with ADD inattentive type and dyslexia. She never had any sleep issues as a child but once school started she did. In preschool and K my daughter hated to write her name, could not memorize her phone number, could not write on a line, could not get the hang of periods and capitals, was in the lowest 20% of readers, had reading recovery, cannot spell even high frequency words, etc. She is also fearful at night which the doctor explains is her brain still churning and going from topic to topic unable to pause. What helps if I read to her for about 45 minutes. I also have an extra bed in her room since we did the tucking-her-back-in business but then she would be back at our bedside unless I laid down next to her (uncomfortable). I actually slept in her room on the extra bed for about a month, then started by reading a book I enjoy with a reading light on the extra bed while she was going to sleep, eventually we went to her falling asleep on her own. She now sleeps one her own most nights, there is the occasional night she comes to us but I walk her back to her room and tuck her in. The extra bed is still there so if necessary I continue my night there, but these are now infrequent occurences. I find that I prefer to make us all comfortable and adjust to her so that she can gain confidence and then adjust to life. We did see a doctor and tried Melatonin which worked but gave her nightmares after about a week. She now has Clonidine tablets for helping her fall asleep, which she uses since the ADD med (Concerta) is a stimulant and actually makes it harder for her to fall asleep. I would keep a sleep log and discuss with your doctor what could be causing her difficulty, but her sleep is.sues are identical to my daughter's. Good luck.
PS: My 10 year old goes upstairs around 8 PM and is in bed around 9 PM and asleep around 10 PM and awake at 7:30 AM.
You could tell her she needs to sleep in her room - and reward her for doing so all night (sticker chart w/ prizes after so many?). Make it a fun game. And/or you can put a cot/air bed in your room on the floor and explain that if she comes in she needs to sleep there - not in your bed. That way she can be close if she needs some security, but isn't in the middle of your bed? Good luck - it can be very frustrating. It won't be this way forever... although it feels like it!
I would give her pediatrician a call. One common solution is to give melatonin tablets. Our son has ADHD and can't naturally calm his body enough to sleep, so he's on a small dosage of melatonin (found a most supermarkets, drug stores or natural food stores). The only downside is that melatonin is a natural ingredient and isn't government-regulated, so I've found the dosage potency varies a lot by brand.
Again, the pediatrician is the best starting point for advice. It really is critical to get this on track again.
P.S. Instead of a later bedtime, you might consider bumping it up earlier by 1/2 hour. Sometimes kids get overtired and actually have more trouble falling asleep with a later bedtime.
Try a musical Mobil? or have the radio on lightly i know my son cant sleep unless the radio is on in his bedroom at night/naptime....
Good luck :)
Is she eating anything different? Caffeine as someone suggested, or red dye? We started giving my DD strawberry milk -- well, the dye in the "strawberry" syrup made her very hyper.
I agree with a slightly later bedtime. Try chamomile tea before bed.
Someone gave my DD a toy that cast stars on the ceiling. Perhaps looking at the constellations will keep your DD in bed!
Maybe try moving her bed time back I know if I tried to put my son to bed at 7:30/8 there would be at least and hour battle. My son is 8 the routine goes like this- 8:30 shower brush teeth in bed by 9 maybe read a book for 15 minutes no TV on school nights no music.
