Have You Ever Been to Therapy?

Updated on April 17, 2011
N.S. asks from Muldoon, TX
22 answers

I feel tremendously vulnerable even asking the question, but it's something I have considered for a LONG time and I haven't acted upon it. I am pretty sure that I've been battling some depression off and on for the past few years and I feel like it's all coming to a head and am seriously thinking about making an appointment. I'm scared and feel embarrassed, nervous, bothered, so many emotions, but deep down I really think I need to do this.

Have you been there? What was it like? Did you let other people know you were going, or keep it a secret? Was your so supportive of you?

What can I do next?

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M.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I have been to counseling for depression and anxiety and even had to go to a psychiatrist for meds. It was, by far, THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE FOR MYSELF. I was not enjoying life, family, friends, spouse, etc. My therapist was awesome, she gave me tools to use daily and homework every week that made me really see what I was dealing with. Even now, if I am feeling bad, I can pop back in for a visit or two. My family and my spouse knew I was going. I think the first visit i just cried the whole time- like you, i was scared, nervous, etc. GO, you don't lose anything by trying!

3 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have my first appointment at the end of this month for being an anxious stress-case so I will let you know! ;) Don't be scared or embarassed... seriously many therapists have heard it ALL... make an appointment, try it, and see if it works well for ya :)

2 moms found this helpful

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

We've done years of therapy for our son and also went on our own as a couple once (our son has ADHD and a host of other conditions and we were feeling wiped out). It's great! You just sit down, tell the therapist what's going on and then basically have a conversation where you get some valuable feedback.

We've been very open about our son's therapy but I'm not sure we told anyone we went in just for us (just don't recall). In any case, I'm not ashamed of it. I think if you share this with trusted friends and family, you'll find you're not the only one pursuing help, and you may get valuable support.

Wait until you see the people in the waiting room. They look like totally normal people because normal people seek this type of help. Depression is a medical condition, so there's no more shame in getting help for it than pursuing help for a heart condition, in my opinion.

Take care of yourself and make an appointment today (and don't be surprised if there's a waiting list to get in ... there's a lot of demand for this type of medical help).

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Denver on

I have been, yes. I ignored it for a long time (I've always dealt with anxiety) but when it started to interfere with my normal life I thought I'd try it. It's not as scary as you think. That's what therapists are there for. The first time I got really upset and cried a lot, but that's just part of it - your mind/emotions letting go. Give it a try! It helps to talk to someone else :) good luck!

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K.F.

answers from New York on

I also SUFFERED with depression. My family and friends were understanding of my sad feelings for a while but when that while turned into months and the months turned into years their understanding faded and disappeared. I cried privately nearly every day for almost 1 year. I was spiraling out of control and couldn't get out of the hole of sorrow I had dug for myself. When I finally got tired of being sad, I was too sad to snap out of it myself. I knew I needed professional help.

No one know how bad things were for me and no one knew I was in counseling. The first two counselors I went to were not a good match. One I went to for one session and the other for two. The first one offended me. To her credit she was being honest and blunt but in my fragile state I couldn't handle that kind of bluntness about family history of mental illness and the connection between what I was headed for if I couldn't get a grip. Even though her words were honest, I really couldn't handle what she was saying to me and never returned for another session. The second round of unsuccessful counseling was with my pastor at the time. His approach was similar to the first counselor but not quite as cold. I got a distinct feeling that he just didn't understand what I was struggling with.

I finally found a nurse counseling practioner. We had about 8-10 sessions which ended earlier than I wanted them too but I was indeed in a much better place mentally. She became like a paid friend who listened to me vent and gave me sound words of wisdom.

The other thing I did which really helped turn things around and get my brain chemistry back on track (depression really throws the brain off) was exercise. I would do a simple 10-15 minute routine every morning and once every evening. That routine would include running in place, jumping jacks, jumping with a rope, touching my toes, stretching, sit ups, pull ups, and push ups. I also begin to cut out sugary foods and cakes and pies and chocolates, and candies. Eating better helps too. Give yourself time to heal from whatever has wounded you inside.

I think the most important thing in this process is to realize that it is a process. Be honest with yourself and give yourself time to heal.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

I have been through therapy for a moderate eating disorder and have worked for many years as a therapist.

What is it like? Depending on what kind of therapist you are seeing, it will vary. For the most part, though, you will meet regularly with someone and you will talk. The therapist will listen, question and point out his or her observations. The therapist will ask you a lot about yourself, your history and your family in the first session or two. You will spend a lot of time working with the therapist to identify behavioral patterns (choices and actions) that lead to outcomes and consequences. You will get the the "why" and then start working on different strategies (changing your thinking pattern and corresponding behaviors) that will result in different outcomes.

At the time, I was in college. My parents knew (insisted on it) and my sisters and roomate knew. Aside from that, I kept it to myself b/c I didn't want anyone to know how "sick" I was. In reality, they all knew b/c I weighed next-to-nothing and was such a perfectionist that anyone around me knew that I needed help. I told my husband about my history with body image issues and he has always been incredibly supportive, but was a little worried when we got pregnant.

Bottom line- make the call and go for 3 or 4 sessions. See what you think and go from there.

1 mom found this helpful

J.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

I recently "finished" some therapy with a great counsellor regarding some personal issues. I thought it was the greatest thing ever, and am on a wait list for more with a womens center. Nothing to be ashamed about! Like all relationships, you need to trust the person & click with them, so you may or may not have to "shop" around. Go for it!!!

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S.T.

answers from New York on

Go and get therapy - I've been, my familymembers have been - it's only a good thing. Get anti-depression meds - your life can be so much better.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

More and more ppl are going to therapy. Mental health is becoming more recognized and acceptable. I personaly would like more ppl to go get help instead of being depressed. Meds might not be or might be nessissary. You should get some skills to learn to deal with the depression before it overwhelms you. I have not gone myself but do know ppl that go.

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A.A.

answers from Waco on

I absolutely hate it when I hear that, in this day and age, people are fearful of therapy because of the "stigma" associated with it. Most people seek therapy because they are dealing with serious life challenges and honestly, what is wrong with that? It's usually the truly "crazy" people that don't seek therapy. So I say go for it girl! My motto is: a little therapy never hurt anyone!

I struggled with anxiety about 15 years ago. I went to a therapist that was, honestly, terrible so I thought therapy wasn't for me. My regular doctor asked me to try someone else and I am SO grateful I went. He is FABULOUS! I am happy to say that I no longer struggle with anxiety, but I still do see my therapist from time to time. He's become like a life coach to me. He is honestly like a fixture in my life and I know I would not be where I am today if it weren't for him. Don't wait... you'll be so glad you did this for yourself. If you don't like your therapist, find another one!

Please also remember that going to theraphy means you are going to have to work at it. You can't go into a therapist's office and expect them to just "heal" you. You are going to have do the hard stuff. But if you let them guide you, you can and will conquer this!

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D.A.

answers from San Antonio on

Oh my yes, I have been for some issues in my childhood. I still go when I get overwhelmed, good to blow off steam and have someone listen to you. She doesn't have the answers and doesn't need to have the answers, I just needed to talk to someone. By all means, go it will be the best thing you ever did for yourself. If you were sick you would go to the doctor...this will just help you take care of you. As far as telling other people..it is none of their business unless you make it their business. I support your decision to go.
Blessings,
D.

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S.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I have been to for anxiety, and still go. I was doing great after about 6 month s (at every other week to 3 weeks) but then my mom passed away and I am in need of help again. There was a point when I knew I needed it. And it has been worth everything!!!

My advice is this. Do not think you need to stay with the first, second, third, etc therapist you see. You WILL know when you find the right one. Don't feel afraid to ask friends, etc if they have any recommendations. Thats how I found mine. You would be amazed at how many people do go to/have gone to therapy. You are not alone.

I don't keep it a secret at all. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Please do it....take care of yourself first.

C.F.

answers from Boston on

I have gone several times!!! (several different therapists) You've got to find you one feel comfortable with - otherwise whats the point. It Helps SO MUCH to talk to someone - Just get things off your chest - OR to get to the bottom of whats going on with you. I only told a select few people, not Everyone needs to know. My DH was very supportive (the first few times I went we were not together), he said as long as I was doing something to help 'me' he was glad! it makes for a 'healthier, better' YOU! Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend..... Please give it a try :-) xoxoxoxo You will not regret it !
** OH YES - you will CRY A LOT! This is 100% Normal and they have 'seen and heard' EVERYTHING.... no worries there!

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

I went to therapy to help me with an eating disorder and possible depression after my grandmother passed away. I too felt very embarrassed, nervous, scared etc before I went, but my husband really encouraged me to go and get better. He actually came to the first appointment with me (I asked him to). I didn't tell many people, just close family. I was quite yound at the time (22) and was embarrassed to tell other people and felt some might judge me, in retrospect I don't think my friends would have judged at all.
I found the first appointment the hardest because I really did not know what to expect, but after that it was a wonderful way to release my emotions without fear of judgement by anyone. In my therapy sessions the therapist led the conversation in a way that would help me express and explore my feelings and emotions and helped me work out why I was having those negative feelings.
I found therapy to be very beneficial to my psychological and physical well being and would recommend anyone to try it.
I can imagine how vulnerable you are feeling right now and I think it would help you to go to therapy, and to tell trusted family members and/or friends so they can also offer you the support and encouragemnet you need at this time.
Good luck

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C.D.

answers from Houston on

My philosophy of therapy is this: when we don't feel well physically, we go to a doctor, so when we don't feel well emotionally, it makes sense to see a therapist. I have been seen by a therapist in the past, and may do so in the future. I found it quite helpful. Freinds and family want us to be happy, so they want to help, but they have an emotional stake in our lives and may not be able to take an objective stance. A therapist is able to take an objective view of events in your life and may be helpful in discovering the underlying issues behind your depression. It is important to find a therapist you feel comfortable with. As for telling the people in your life, that will be a case-by-case descision. Don't let anyone tell you that going to seek help is a sign of weakness- it is a sign of the strength we have to call on to face the challenges in our lives. Sorry this has been a lengthy answer, but I feel quite strongly about people finding help. I had a friend who commited suicide and wish she had let someone help her.
I wish you the very best-
Cynthia

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L.B.

answers from El Paso on

Yes, at many differnt times in my life. It does not make you a weak person to ask for help when you are feeling overwhelmed. It takes a very strong and courageous person to admit there is something "different" about the way you are feeling AND to then do something about it. I shared my going to therapy with certain people and it certainly was not the first thing I blurted out in a conversation. Please, do not feel embarrased or anything for asking the question and saying you need some "outside" support. I wish all the best onthis journey to get back to where you need/want used to be.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Frankly, my hat is off to you for admitting you need some help right now. I personally haven't been in your shoes but wanted to show you support. Just remember that half of solving a problem is ADMITTING that there is a problem. Best of luck and a huge hug....

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K.O.

answers from Austin on

No worries! You know, it's not until we have families of our own that our "issues" start to surface and we get to know not-so-pretty parts of ourselves. This is what life is really all about, working through things. So it's good news that you want to look at it and not ignore or bury it. I think counseling can be a good first step to acknowledge and talk about things, but just talking doesn't always fix things, in my experience I've had excellent success going to the root of the emotional issue and working on releasing and healing that. http://www.ihaofutah.com/
is the source I've used and had wonderful results with. I know there are other options for emotional release therapy I haven't explored yet that might be just as effective, but this one definitely has worked for me. Just know that everyone has issues, everyone. But not everyone is willing or able to actually face them, so kudos to you!

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J.P.

answers from Houston on

Most important: Get references on a good therapist in your area. Be wary of a therapist suggesting medication. It's not always the answer and sometimes to the detriment of a patient. Not sure if insurance covers it, as mine did not. Also, after having it on my record, it was hard to get new insurance. Be prepared with a list of your background (possible factors
contributing to your depression). Easy to forget some very important
details. I would probably wait for a few doctor appts. before telling just
anyone. You come first: not their opinions. Lots and lots of luck finding the perfect doctor for you.

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L.W.

answers from Houston on

Hi! I don't suffer from depression, but my DH has battled with it his whole life. He did not seek help until he was in his 30's after a divorce. He was so against going because he was afraid the therapist would just tell him he was crazy and there would be nothing they could do. Of course, it was a turning point in his life and he now realizes it was a very good experience. I think the hardest thing to do is finally make the decision to call and make the appointment. He and I have gone to marriage counseling for times when we can not solve situations that present themselves in our life. I was nervous but realized that no matter what we throw at the therapist, they have heard it all and do not judge one bit. I always felt comfortable in the office and it always felt like a large weight had been lifted after leaving.
Personally, I don't think it is anyone's business if you go to therapy, other than your spouse, of course. I wouldn't necessarily keep it a secret, but if you have someone you want to discuss this with, just do it. You will be surprised how many people suffer from depression and anxiety. Also be aware that some people are extremely closed off to the idea of going for counseling. If you run across these people, please don't let them change your mind about going. I hope all goes well for you and you receive the relief you deserve in your life.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have been there. I was diagnosed with Bipolar and referred to a LCSW as well as being put on medication. Honestly, the counseling/therapy sessions did far more for me than meds ever ever did!
My husband was very supportive. He knew how much I was struggling to hold it together and he was really worried about me. He was happy when I finally got help and started getting better, and he was even more supportive in my meltdowns because he knew what was going on.

I still (after 4 years, I think) have told very few other people, outside my immediate family (my parents, brother, grandma) and even that was hard. The hardest for me was my in-laws, I still don't really talk about it much with them.

I would suggest starting with your family doctor. Let him know you're struggling with depression and ask for a referral to a counselor, and maybe even a psychiatrist. Family doc's can prescribe medication, but they have much less experience in dealing with mental health and sometimes don't get that you can't just throw a pill at it and make it go away. My psych and my counselor were in the same office, so record sharing was easy to help manage. (And, btw, it won't necessarily mean you need meds, and all this won't necessarily be forever, but going to the specialist can get you the best treatment for your situation). Also make sure to check what your insurance covers!

Hang in there! Good luck!

M.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I would encourage you to do it and if after three visits you do not feel good about your person keep looking until you find someone you like. I regret not going sooner, it has been the most helpful thing. I began during a very stressful time in my life when I was having alot of anxiety but I continue today because my therapist is kind of like a life coach to me. She is someone I can talk to about things that bother me and bounce ideas off of someone who is not partial one way or the other and will just empathetically listen and let me find my way. Women generally have a difficult time finding a sense of self and valuing their own voice and having a therapist has really helped me in that process. You deserve it and are worth it. Also my insurance pays all except a $25 co-pay. I go once a month and feel like it is something that I do just for me and is cheaper than getting nails or a massage.

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