Harness Restraint System

I hated the leash idea until I had a active 18 month old. My mom told me this story about a year ago... My mom sees a sixty-something year old woman desperately running after a toddler in a parking lot. He was running towards a busy 4 lane road. So my mom jumps into the chase. The toddler was at the point of the sidewalk running towards the street and a man walking along the sidewalk was able to scoop him up before running in the street. So now when I think of the leash I am 100% on board. A leashed baby is better than a dead baby. Who cares what strangers think anyways?

I was at walmart the other day and saw a mom who had her young son on one of the leashes and I couldn't help myself but to laugh. I feel bad for the kids kept on leashes. I would never use one on my kids, not even on my crazy energized 2 year old.

I used the plain toddler harnesses when my twins were toddling because we lived very close to a busy intersection (we'd go for walks with one in a single umbrella stroller and the other on the harness and then they'd switch - two toddlers in harnesses can leave the parent feeling like a novice sled dog driver with two untrained dogs LOL). No one ever gave me grief over them but I had my "line" prepared in case anyone did: "Cruel? Yes, we used to think so too but <sniff, sniff> that was before we lost one of the triplets!"
I think it's a useful training tool when a child is too young to reliably follow safety instructions like "stop" and "wait for mommy/daddy" - it gives them a bit of freedom to move around. If you present it to your child as a choice - either sit in the stroller or use the harness - it might be more appealing to him. Good luck!

My daughter used to run away. I mead RUN. So we got one and it was great. She loved it. She liked that she could walk around by herself not holding hands. She never thought she was on a leash. It stopped her from running in to the street dozens of times. Bottom line its your child and you do whatever it takes to keep them safe.

Before I worked as a cashier, before I worked as a nanny, and before I had my son... I laughed at people who put their kids on leashes and swore I would never do that.

However, now I am just waiting for the time to come when I buy one. As a cashier and on more than one occasion, I have had to stop the line to stop a child from running outside. Once I was stocking shelves, when the store was slow. A little girl (Maybe 2) walked passed me and out the front doors. I looked around for her parents, but didn't see them. I ran outside and grabbed her before she got onto the street. I had to walk around the store with her until we found her dad. Her dad was stunned. He thought that she was right there with him.

I won't take the girl I nanny outside unless it's in a fenced in area. She's 2 and still manages to evade me!

I say that if you feel more comfortable putting your kid on a "leash"... Go right ahead! Especially in those busy areas where anything could happen.

I LIKE them for situations where a split second of lost eyesight could result in a lost child... such as a crowded amusement park, airport, walking near busy roads, places like that. Especially your situation at the airport, I think would be perfectly appropriate to use one.

I DON'T like them for everyday use. I hate seeing mothers using them in place of teaching their kid to behave. I have seen mothers literally dragging their kid around by them at the grocery store. My dad (on his own) somehow was able to keep track of 4 kids 5 and under without needing a leash... yet mothers with only one child can't keep an eye on theirs? I'm sorry, but that's lazy parenting IMO.

My thinking is that kids are kids. They are going to wander, not stay put, etc. all the time. They are going to test their limits. It's up to the parent to keep the kids in line. But I also acknowledge that there are times when you put safety before idealism, and use the tools available to do so.

ADDED AFTER READING OTHER ANSWERS... I also agree that in the cases where the caregiver is unable to physically outrun the kids, leashes are awesome.

I TOTALLY agree with your husband - he's a CHILD not an animal...ever since they came out when my daughter was a toddler I thought, when I saw parents that put those on their children, that is a child not an animal.

The "leash" gives parents FALSE protection ideals. Seriously - the child can get out of it - or worse case scenario - parents "FEEL" secure so they really don't pay attention and someone can some and cut the "leash" any way.

You MUST teach your child how to behave. PERIOD. In public and in private. Putting a leash on them isn't showing them any respect in my book. If your child is "hyper" or whatever term/label you want to give him/her - then so be it - you just have to be a better parent. People use the excuse "well, he's a runner" - only because you've let them get away with it so far! Seriously - if the boundary has been crossed and recrossed with no consequence for the action OF COURSE it's going to happen again and again....it's a game for them at this point.

You need to take control - stop letting your child cross boundaries ESPECIALLY SAFETY boundaries...it won't stop here...it will only get worse. Is it easy?! HECK NO!! But leashing your child is just wrong in my book.

You asked what we think so here goes. I find them offensive pet leashes marketed to look cute so parents are more likely to spend the money. Children are people learning to make decisions, not animals to be restrained. I find it to be a big difference between holding on to your child in a public place and makign them respect that versus letting them act up and pull on their leash but you don't actually have to deal with them. So I would be the person shooting a dirty look :)

I got one for my daughter when she was about 19 months old and used it until she was about 2 1/2 to 3 years old. She loved it. I loved it. It gave her freedom and gave me piece of mind. Most people that give you dirty looks aren't parents. And parents who are lucky and don't have kids who are explorers, just don't understand.
I never thought I'd be the parent to do that, but I realized that I needed my daughter to have freedom without feeling like I was constantly saying no. My daughter was and still is a free spirit. I stopped using it when she started to understand the concept of staying with me and not running off. I never used it as a negative thing, "if you don't behave, I will put your harness on," but more of a freedom thing for her. She wanted to do her own thing. This gave me peace of mind.
She is 4 now and we don't have it anymore, but she is so good and stays with me for the most part now, asks before going off, etc.
Hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Putting a child "on a leash like a dog" is an adult comparison and not particularly serviceable if the alternative is a less-safe child. Your little one won't be thinking in terms of you treating her like a dog. And you don't owe any apologies to strangers.

Restrictive it might be, but toddlers by their very nature sometimes require some restriction. I wouldn't want to rely on it as a way to get out of attending to a child at all. But you can't realistically watch a zippy toddler every moment and still be there for your older daughter.

I used to tie a long scarf around my toddler grandson's chest because I was having back trouble and couldn't stoop to hold his hand when I took him for walks. It served us both well – he seemed to feel safer because I could keep him from falling on his face when he was still a wobbler. It wasn't a leash, it was a safety system.

Don't worry about people's dirty looks. Think about it in terms of what you are trying to accomplish. Safety is enormously important, especially in a busy place, or a risky place like a parking lot, or when you might reasonably expect your attention to be divided.

Didn't need one until I had my third... and we bought him the cute little Monkey one. Bought it cause he thought nothing of running off and i "lost" him more often then i liked - never more then a minute though. I liked it cause it had a little pocket that i could put in a diaper and a business card with parent info... just in case he did manage to sneak off without me noticing. And since the "leash" part is removable he can wear it like a little backpack.

I'd get one if your little one loves to be on the run but hasn't yet learned WHY he needs to stay close to mama, or is just too brave.

Do what you need to do to give your child freedom to walk and explore safely. In this day and age of obesity I think it is better to walk tethered to a parent for safety sake then see a 3 year old in a stroller(tied to it) with a pacifier or munching on snacks to keep them "happy". Be your kids parent and if others have a comment about your parenting skills ask them if their kids are overweight, if older have jobs and are happy or what size they wear as they have just as much business making a comment about you and your parenting as you do about any of those things. What an amazing world if we could all be kind and all mind our own business.

I haven't used one -- but I think they are great! I would have used one if needed.

You can tell your husband that your child will feel significantly more restricted if strapped down in a stroller!

People (especially other Moms) are going to judge you over something, no matter what you do. They will find something, at some point, to give you dirty looks about. This is a terrible part of our society (as well as this website). Hold firm to your values and make the best decision for your child and your family.

I got one of these this year for my 2 year old daughter - it is like elmo in a front-carrier with the strap on the back. Here are my thoughts...

1. Yes, it is like a leash - she even calls hers a leash even though I've always called it a harness to her. We put dogs on leashes to keep them safe - period. Same is true for children. I don't have a problem with that. After reading other responses I would add that just because we do something for our child that we do for an animal or pet is not always a negative - afterall, I feed my dog and I feed my daughter - doesn't mean they're both equal in my eyes.

2. She liked hers the first few times and then began to hate it. Now I VERY consistently offer her a choice whenever we get out of the car somewhere public - harness, stroller (or sometimes shopping cart if that is an option). She chooses, and then HAS to stick with that choice.

3. I've never felt like I got rude looks, but others say that they do. Personally I think it's a matter of perspective. I've had several people come up and say it seems like a great idea, and I get some looks that I consider "quizzical" in which I think they're trying to figure out what I'm doing. I don't assume they're being judgmental, but some parents probably figure that's what those looks mean. Either way, I don't really care what other people think.

4. After reading other responses - people who think that it is lazy parenting probably have an easier child. Children come in all shapes, sizes and temperments. Parents all come with different skill sets. Using a harness doesn't mean the parents simply don't try to teach their child to behave, and it doesn't mean the parent is lazy and wants an "easy out". I can't speak for all parents, but using myself as an example - I have a very well-mannered child and I do teach her how to behave. I have absolutely no interest in taking the easy way out. But there are times that I deem it safest and for everyone's best interest to use a harness. And I don't need to explain those reasons to anyone because no one else will fully know and understand my situation without having lived it. Just as I'll never know and understand theirs. I could argue that it's lazy parenting to stick your kid in a stroller and not let them get exercise. Or to make them hold your hand everywhere without a little more room to roam free. Or I could say that it's simply unsafe to let your child wander about without a harness or holding your hand. See - you can complain about each and every option. I wish I could make others less judgmental, but I can't. All I can control is myself, so I do what works for me and choose to remain judgment-free about the choices that other parents make.

I always critizied other Moms when I would see them with a child on one, until my first born was an active toddler with a stong willed personality. My husband bought one because I still felt it was cruel. But now I am using the same one on our 2nd child who is 21 months. I also used it on my oldest who is 3 at the State Fair this summer for safety reasons. Go for it!

When my son was 2-3, he's now 20, I looked all over for a harness/leash for him and couldn't find one any where. I ended up making one and using a dog leash with it. We both loved it. He was a curious and loved to look at stuff and I was always afraid I would leave bruises on his hands or wrist as I tried to hang on to him. The harness/leash system gave him the freedom to look at something on the other side of an aisle while I was looking for what I needed.
Just be careful of the ones that go one the wrist. They attach with velco and I've seen moms walking down the street dragging the harness and the child off looking at something.

I agree, it is a leash and I cringe when I see parents use one! Please just bite the bullet and help your son learn that he has to stay in a stroller or grocery cart seat. My son used to hate the stroller and would try to get out and I just let him scream!! I pushed him through the mall one day as he screamed his head off and I didn't care about what people said and trust me.... I got a lot of stares and comments!! But he got over it and stopped throwing fits about the stroller. Same with holding hands, they have to learn!!

Good luck
S.

My child was anything but easy and putting a doggie harness on her was how I kept her safe when we were in highly populated areas. She just couldn't listen (I know other parent's will judge that statement, but we now know chemically she couldn't listen and behave - now w/ help she can). I could never keep up with her and her ability to weave through people's legs. I never got a judgmental comment...just other parents saying how they used it and loved it or parents asking where they could get one. She didn't mind it most of the time and it has a little backpack area to throw a few small toys in. Each parent must come to peace with it for themselves. I think that it's a great thing.

H.

I never liked them until I had my second child. He has tons of sensory issues and one is he hates to be touched even the gentlest hug, kiss, etc "hurts" him so until he learnt that he must stay right next to me when we are out you bet your butt we had one. There is nothing wrong with keeping your child safe while teaching them how to safely behave when out. Believe that leash was never yanked on like he was an animal like some suggest. It's not the leash/harness itself that makes it bad it's how some parents use it that make it bad. I have seen parents yank it so hard that the kid landed on their butt.

They didn't have the backpack harnesses when my son was little. There was a company that made overalls for toddlers that had a handle built right into the back of them and I use to attach a leash to the handle.
Before I had my son I remember seeing a mother panic in a clothing store because she couldn't find her child. She was approaching hysterical when a clerk found the child sleeping underneath a rack of coats.
Never mind the dirty looks. Those people have no idea what your child is like and you know what's best for yours.

I'm not going to call it lazy parenting, ut I will say, as an early childhood professional, that they do NOTHING to teach your child proper behavior or self control. If your 19 month old is so active that he is running all over the place, then putting him on a leash isn't going to be any safer. He will be pulling and running erratically anyways (which is what itvsounds like you want to put him on a leash for.) if he doesn't do that and just walks, then you wouldn't need a leash. At almost 2 (if he's typically developing) then he should have far greater receptive language than you are giving him credit for. The only way to teach him how choices work is by repititon. Either hold your hand, be carried, or sit in the stroller. He doesn't want to be in the stroller, he must stay by you or hold your hand. He doesn't do it? In the stroller he goes. He cries, tell him he can get out but he has to stay by you/hold your hand. I have one "easy child" and one "strong willed," but teaching the basics is the same no matter what. You want to teach your kids necessary life skills, not just do something for convenience that doesn't teach them anything.

***my statement is for typically developing children, not children with special needs.***