Graduation Pictures

Updated on June 04, 2009
K.C. asks from Durham, NC
23 answers

I have 2 sons ages 5 and 4. My 5 yr old will graduate from kindergarten next week. He attended preschool and also had a graduation ceremony from preschool. My 4 yr old hasn't attended preschool but will enter kindergarten in the fall. The 4 yr old is aware that his older brother is 'graduating' again and has asked when will he graduate. We took pictures of my 5 yr old in his cap/gown from his preschool ceremony and mailed to family & friends announcing his entering kindergarten. I am considering using the same cap/gown for my 4 yr old to take pictures to announce his entering kindergarten. I don't want him to feel left out but I also don't want him to be/feel deceived later in life when he's older and realizes he didn't "graduate" from preschool b/c he never attended. He's basically been homeschooled for his preschool. I would like to celebrate his preschool success (writing his name, number recognition 1-100, reading, etc.) What are your thoughts on using the cap/gown for 4yr old to take pictures?

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K.D.

answers from Johnson City on

Hi, I think it is a great ideal. It will make him feel like he is a part of everything that is going on. Since he was home schooled, it would really motivate him when he does go to kindergarten. Go for it. It will make him happy.

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C.C.

answers from Knoxville on

I would go for it, if it would make the little guy happy. He will understand when he is older that you weren't "deceiving" him, you were just celebrating a milestone in his life. They are little for such a short time, celebrate every moment you can!

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

if you have been teaching him then make up a diploma for him (im sure you can find one online to print) and do pictures maybe even have a few family members over to celebrate.

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A.A.

answers from Raleigh on

This message may sound harsh, but life isn't fair. I personally think that having pix taken of the 4-year-old in cap and gown is absurd. He may feel left out or deceived, but that's life. You can't protect him from everything. Just explain to him that things were different for your older child - he had to go to preschool but the younger one got to stay home with mom to learn stuff.

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

I don't think I'd use the cap/gown (for the same reason you feel hesitant about it - they weren't actually 'his' . . . ), however he's old enough to ask HIM what he'd like to do about it.! Just offer it as an option and see what he says. He may have a more profound comment than any of us moms!

Or maybe take some pics of them together -- the older brother in his K cap/gown, but sitting down. Have the younger bro dress up in his 'Sunday best' and stand beside him (so as to 'stand out' also), and include a pic of both in your announcements this year along with recognition of the younger's accomplishments/advancement.

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N.C.

answers from Memphis on

I don't think he will resent you. He's so little and might feel better about the fact that he got to stay home with you. I wouldn't worry about the pictures..he will have his day to put on the cap and gown! He will probably be so excited about his brother that he won't have time to think about himself. Unless they are in competition with each other the time..you might want to do it just to appease him!

D.B.

answers from Memphis on

I think it's a sweet idea. I would go for it and make him some kind of certificate of something to commemorate the occasion. I homeschooled my oldest 2 through high school & we had the cap/gown/diploma/ceremony with our county homeschool group, it was wonderful.

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A.J.

answers from Huntington on

i thinks you should use it.
just dres it up a little different then when your othere one use it
and take his picture in it and put then together
he love it

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R.D.

answers from Jackson on

I say put him in the cap and gown and take pictures. He is wanting to be like his big brother. I would even take pictures of them together. You won't scare him for life when (and if) he ever realizes that he did not attend a real preschool graduation. He did go to preschool at home with you teaching so he can still graduate from preschool. Have fun with it and don't worry.

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K.H.

answers from Huntington on

I don't care for the idea. But then, I personally don't like all the 'graduation' ceremonies they have for kids when they really are not graduating. I think it takes away from the specialness of the real thing...but I digress...

Instead of trying to tailor an event to match your older child's, I let him be his 'own man'. Most of the digital photo places have prepared borders and I would imagine some are school-themed and you could use a cool picture of him with it. Or, scan some artwork of his and send that as a picture instead.

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K.B.

answers from Louisville on

Use it! He is not going to suffer from a cap and gown pic down the road. It will do him good now and make him feel like a big boy like his older brother. Just because he didn't attend pre-school in a room somewhere other than home doesn't mean he hasn't accomplished great things. This should be praised. Don't feel weird or guilty. I think it's great!

Take care!

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J.S.

answers from Lexington on

I agree with Anne A on this one. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to make everything even with both boys-- and even if you succeed at that they'll still find something to be upset over. He's probably not nearly as concerned about this as you are. In the scheme of things this is really small stuff.

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G.W.

answers from Chattanooga on

First of all, I absolutely detest preschool graduations. Particularly since it's now the trend to have one for kindergarten (equally unnecessary in my opinion). Doesn't it just cause them to expect that every year of school? But I digress...
In your situation, I really like the idea of having a special event for the little one. I don't think he or the older one would enjoy a copycat sort of thing as much as something special just for the little guy. Using the cap and gown would be fine, but maybe just some special formal pictures would be more fun. Maybe an outing of some sort, maybe a gathering of his favorite folks. Regardless, something of his choosing. Believe me, I've been through LOTS of graduation ceremonies, and would have rather been at the zoo having a party any day!

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R.U.

answers from Nashville on

Good morning, i don't like that idea. That is sending a message to your 4 yr old that it is ok to make up stuff that isn't true. And for your 5 yr old it say's what he achevied didn't mean anything. How about a reaaly cute picture of your 4 yr old at a park playground and say something like from playground to school. Or something neat that rymhes. Just my thoughts. Good luck. R. Uhls
P.S. MAKE IT A DAY. FAMILY PICNIC AND THE WORKS. LIKE THE END OF A PERIOD INTO A GREAT ADVENTURE.

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M.H.

answers from Chattanooga on

I think it is great since you teach him at home , this will make me feel better.It does not matter if he did not enter pre-school as long you take his picture and say he graduate at home school,Just tell him he just graduate at home school by mama and he will appreciate you more.Then when he enter kindergarten and get ready to graduate just congratulation him and he will be so proud. your a good mother! MS

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

I would totally do it! I would just make it clear that he is not going to preschool b/c mommy taught him at home but he WILL go to Kindergarten. I would ask him if he would like to dress up and take his pic to mail out to family too?? Make it fun and keep reminding him that it is pretend. Decorate the pic on a card or a scrapbook page to send out and then hang one in his room. YOu can even take a pic of each of them and copy and paste or just glue them side by side on a scrapbook page. Just make it clear he is not going to preschool and hten you should not have to worry about deceiving later. :o)

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E.F.

answers from Louisville on

As an older sister I remember how completely irritating it was that my accomplishments could never stand alone. My mother always worried my little sister would be jealous and upset that I got a little extra attention.

It's a horrible feeling to always have your big day undercut. So what if she cried, she might have felt bad for a few minutes but she would have gotten over it.

Long term it was bad for her self esteem and bad for my relationship with my family. It's an opportunity for your younger son to learn to control his jealousy, to strive for his own accomplishments, and be happy for his brother.

His time will come.

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M.Q.

answers from Nashville on

I say go for it! It should be celebrated. I think that later in life he will more likely feel happy that you took the time to make it special for him, rather than feeling deceived about not really going to preschool. Have fun with it!

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K.

answers from Nashville on

Congratulations to both of your sons! Since the younger son homeschooled, you could have a homeschool graduation. Put together a small ceremony where he wears the cap and gown, recieves a diploma, and hears his name read as you say a few words about his successes. Invite family and/or friends to attend and have a little party to celebrate the accomplishments of both boys.

Good luck and congrats!

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Y.L.

answers from Fayetteville on

If you have home schooled your younger son, it would be very appropriate to have a graduation picture taken of him, and to have a celebration to commemorate his accomplishments. Using the same cap and gown is a great Idea. Trifty and eco friendly!!!

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A.P.

answers from Nashville on

I don't see anything wrong with celebrating your son's accomplishments. You can print him a diploma on the computer saying he graduated "Mommy Preschool" or whatever you want to call it and say he mastered certain skills. I think using the same hat and gown is fine, and I would think your older son would be proud to share it with him (without feeling his accomplishments were undermined - his were celebrated too). If not then let him wear one of your old hats or get him one of his own. I don't feel that you are deceiving your son at all if you are simply celebrating what he has accomplished and not just trying to carbon copy your older son's experiences. You will all be happy looking back at the pictures in years to come. Congrats to both your boys!

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Sometimes we worry too much about things. I seriously doubt that he would think twice about not having gone to a formal preschool later in life. Just be matter of fact and say that you did preschool at home, and if you want, do the whole cap and gown business and have family over for a little celebration and take pictures. Kids feed off us, and if we worry and stress about small things, they will too.

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S.W.

answers from Lexington on

My daughter will be graduating from kindergarten tomorrow night. When my son was in kindergarten they did not have a graduation ceremony for the kindergarten class. My son is autistic and is completing fourth grade. I'm wondering if he will ask the same thing as your four year old. I don't see anything wrong with having a small celebration with close friends and family to recognize your sons achievements even though you homeschooled him and as far as the pictures go - if he wants to do that then why not? Who is going to talk badly of an adorable four year old in a cap and gown picture - no one who loves him. Are any of your friends also preschooling from home? Would they want to have a small ceremony to celebrate their child's achievements with you and your son? Many people who homeschool do things to recognize their children's accomplishments just as traditional school.

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