Getting Your Toddler to Poop on the Potty

Updated on April 17, 2008
L.K. asks from Hyrum, UT
32 answers

I started potty training about a month ago. My 2 1/2 yr old boy is doing pretty well with peeing in the potty, but doesn't want to poop on the potty. He just says "I have to go later" and then goes in his underwear. Usually by the time I catch him grunting it is too late. I am hoping to get some new ideas of things that I can try. Can you help?

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N.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

When anyone poops in the potty, we say (in a really low/deep voice), "Bye Bye, Poopie!" as they flush. My son loves it. He gets excited to poop in the potty so we can say g'bye to it. He gets excited when I poop, too...*hehe*

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K.A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I had the same problem with my oldest son and here is what his preschool teacher recommended and it worked great. We went to the dollar store and I started picking out 8 toys/gifts and he asked who they were for and I told him that they were for him when he goes poopies in the potty. We went home and I wrapped them up and put them in a basket above the toilet on a shelf. Every time he went poop in the potty he got to pick a gift and open it. After about 4 gifts he gained enough confidence that the gifts became a bonus, he was just so excited that he was such a big boy and could do it by himself. It totally worked. Hope that helps. Different things work for different kids.

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G.W.

answers from Colorado Springs on

In my experience when you are having trouble with kids pooping in their pants it has to do with the position, easier for them to accomplish the task. I always put M&M's in a glass and when they went potty on the pot I let them choose one. Also I put a stool in front of the big potty so that they could get into a better position to poop. Be on the look out if you notice them going somewhere out of sight or to a corner or pushing and grunting get them into the bathroom and be so happy about it. Remind them of the M&M. Good Luck!

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H.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It is obviously not uncomfortable for him to have poop in his underwear. Don't take it off of him for a little while and see if this bothers him. Also, when my boy had "accidents" I made him clean it up! he had to dump the poop in the potty, clean his bum,then put the underwear in the washing machine, then wash his hands and then change his clothes. believe me, if he has to do this a couple of times, he WILL go in the potty b/c it takes a lot less out of your play time to go in the potty vs. taking care of yourself after you poop your pants. (you can obviously help him a little bit like with cleaning his bum) if he wants YOU to clean it up, ask him if he would like to clean up mommy's poop and when he says no, tell him you don't want to clean his either. Also, it helped my boy to know that his friends don't want to play with a boy who has wet or dirty pants. Nobody wants to play with a stinky boy! Hope this helps! my boy only pooped twice in his pants! be realistic, don't change him like he is in a diaper, he is older and can take responsibility for these things himself now!

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J.O.

answers from Pueblo on

Don't rush it! When I was training my first he was the same way. He did great with peeing but he freaked out when he felt he had to poop. I think if he is doing that great after training for a month just stick with it. I will admit that I got very frustrated with him after cleaning his underwear time after time after time.... You also need to keep in mind that when your other baby is born, he may regress. You may want to try rewarding him for pooping or even sitting on the potty. Maybe a bowl of candy that he can see but can't have untill he has tried the potty.

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S.G.

answers from Pocatello on

I've heard the same, that you just keep the underwear off and then they don't know what to do but go to the bathroom. But I found with my daughter that I just had to catch her in the poop squat and drag her to the potty. Each time it got easier, as in more poop landed in the toilet, less in the underwear or on the rug. And then the last time I caught her, all the poop went in the toilet, and she never pooped in her pants again. I haven't heard any other magical solutions than that unfortunately.

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R.M.

answers from Provo on

Buy "Plum Smart" juice. It is full of fiber. Give it to him for breakfast, but not too much (start with about 4oz.) or he will get a tummy ache. Within an hour he will need to go, so just watch him. You have to do it on a morning when you don't have anywhere to go,so you can stay home and be ready when he has to go.

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S.K.

answers from Provo on

Read him the book, Everybody Poops. It is a scream!

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R.O.

answers from Boise on

Hi
THis is going to sound strange, but it was suggested to me when my boy was little and it worked. I let him run around the house "bottomless" and told him to run when he felt the urge to go - and that afternoon he stopped dead in his tracks, looked at me with a funny look, and ran to the bathroom! I figured if it didn't work I would have a mess, but as I said, it worked for me. Just a suggestion, wierd but effective. :)
R. O.
Gooding

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B.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

This doesn't work for all but it did work for my first daughter. I made a calander on a poster board with a bunch of fun pictures on it that she liked (like frogs etc..) on one side I had written on it goal & prize then I had it laminated and tacked it on the wall in the bathroom. I also bought a bunch of stickers. Using washable makers I filled in the month & we would write a goal (like: go poop/pee at least once a day for a week. On the prize we come up with something she wanted to work for like a slurpee and if she met her goal she would get it. With the stickers she would get to put 1 on it for pee and 2 for poop. Then if she went in her pants she would have to take she same amount of stickers off the chart and throw them away (which she didn't like to do. She loved to show Daddy how many stickers she had gotten during the day). As time progressed we upped the anty. This also worked for my niece but they just put the sitckers on a piece of paper. Good luck too you! And just be glad he hasn't painted the walls with the mess in his pants!

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Don't give him the option of saying "I'll go Later", continue just setting him on the toilet every few hours and especially around the time he has to go poopy. Don't ever ask them if they have to go as they always say "no", just set him on the potty and say nicely "let's just try" and then leave him there for a few minutes. Eventually he will poop on the potty....

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L.B.

answers from Provo on

L.,

My son did the same thing at the same age. I think he was just not motivated to use the toilet. The best thing that happened was that we had him stay with his cousins for a few days while we went on a trip. During that stay, he observed his cousins, who are boys, one his age and one two years older, use the toilet. That modeling was sufficient to increase his motivation, and he used the toilet thereafter. Sometimes a little social pressure helps.

Linda

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A.P.

answers from Denver on

Read to him while he sits on the potty. That way, he's there long enough to have a movement. And he's relaxed enough to have a movement. Even if you catch him when it's too late, still put him on the potty. If you can, take the poop from his diaper/underwear and put it in the potty. Let him see it in there and do the peepee/poopoo dance/song. "So-in-so went poopoo/peepee in the potty. Woo-Woo!" My boys love the peepee/poopoo dance/song. By the way... my son wasn't potty trained until he was 3. It seems to take boys longer. And it has to be on THEIR terms. Boys don't seem to mind to sit in their own mess. They're having too much fun playing. Keep giving positive reinforcement.

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C.R.

answers from Grand Junction on

I was in the same boat as you 3 years ago. First you should know the average age for Boys is 3 years and 2 months in the US. Now pat your self on the back! I battled the poop thing for about 6 weeks and then one morning when I dropped him off at day care I said " If you poop on the potty today I will buy you a truck". He was really into trucks at the time and it worked!!! He had 2-3 accidents over the next couple of months but the bribery thing worked. Good luck, be patient!

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K.E.

answers from Billings on

Ok, don't laugh everyone.....try a flashlight, seriously. My oldest son WOULD NOT go poop (and sometimes pee) in the potty. I tried everything and one day the electricity went out for a couple hours and tada, while he was playing with the flashlight we went into the bathroom and he was fascinated by watching with the flashlight. Not kidding. We hung little hooks up in every bathroom and let him pick out his special flashlights, one for each bathroom, and he thought it was great. It worked for my little girl, too. Hopefully the next one will catch on as well!! Good Luck......

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A.P.

answers from Pocatello on

My son is 2 and 1/2 and we are going through the exact same thing! I feel like I need all the help I can get! Yesterday he pooped in his booster seat while eating dinner. What a mess!

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K.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son seemed to have a hard time to go poop on the toliet because it scared him. I ask him if he would need to go and he would tell me know but I told him let's try anyway and most of the time he would do it on his own. I give him a book to look at while sitting there and we made up a poop poop dance that we would do every time he went on the toliet. It seemed to help him. I is really hard but he will still have accidents. Good luck.

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D.P.

answers from Provo on

I used bribery. In a kind and constructive way. I tried to identify the problem it seemed to be nervousness and anxiety. Either about falling in or balancing while doing something else.

Some of this I gleaned from conversation and some from when I would try and get him to sit on the seat and try. I talked about how nice it would be to not have to get changed (my son was a little older three plus a few months). I got a nice little inexpensive seat that there was no way he could fall through. I helped make this really apparent to him. I let him do a lot of trial sitting, etc.

Then what sealed the deal is I asked him what his favorite candy was he said Butterfingers. I went and got a fun size pack and told him if he went poop in the potty he could have a Butterfinger. Then every once in while I would ask him if he wanted to try and encourage him a little bit keeping the emphasis on the wonderful reward that would be his and then finally one day he did it.

I gave him a lot of praise when he finally did it and made another big deal once he washed up and I gave him his reward. He still had a few accidents but soon it was all settled. It took a few more fun size packs to reinforce the skill but that's how we finally did it.

If I had to do it again I would emphasize that these treats are to help him learn and not as a eternal reward every time he went.

Hope this helps.

D.

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T.E.

answers from Denver on

My little girl(2.5yr) actually started the pooping in the potty first, and last week just figure out the potty thing. I did exactly what someone else said,,,I just took off all her cloths, or sometimes just a shirt and slippers and when she had to go she'd run to the potty or I'd run with her and we would practice grunting, and this seems silly but sometimes I would run water or just let her talk of the phone to get her mind of it. The first two times she pooped on th e potty she was on the phone with my sister and the next time she was on the phone with my mom. Good Luck

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H.C.

answers from Provo on

I'm not an expert by all means but what I did (because I was so tired of throwing away numerous Pull-ups or washing out panties) was I told my daughter that she would be wearing diapers until she could start pooping in the potty again. I don't know if your little boy doesn't like wearing diapers, but my daugher was so "upset" that she couldn't be a big girl anymore and that she had to go back to being a baby, that she started pooping in the potty. We also told her that she couldn't wear the diapers anymore because her little brother (who is due in June) would need them. I don't know if this was some sort of reverse thinking we played on her, but it worked. Good luck. From what I hear most kids it just all of a sudden clicks and then they do pretty well. That's what seemed to happen with my daughter, but I don't know if it was anything I really did.

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C.D.

answers from Denver on

Hi Lacey,

I am having the same problem with my 2.3 year old. He goes pee, but doesn't realize that is where poo can go too.
So, thanks for asking this question, I need all the help I can get too.

Best Regards,
C.

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N.S.

answers from Denver on

A friend of mine just posted this response to a similar request. Here is what she had to say...

My son is 3 1\2 now and I went through the same thing. Like you I tried everything until i ran into this lady and she suggested letting him run around the house without a diaper or under wear on, just a long shirt. I waited a few days and finally decided to give it a try and lo and behold he went poo in the potty, a week later he was doing both in the potty. As far as the getting through the night I had to cut off all liquids an hour before his bed time and not put the diaper on because when I would put the diaper on it seemed like we would go back in steps. They make little bed covers that absorb liquid and that was something I invested in. My son has been potty trained for months now but he still has an occasional accident so it was a good investment and it saves on a ton of laundry. It can be stressful and seem like a lot of work, be patient and strong. It will all come together for you.

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J.

answers from Boise on

We are in the same boat. We are going slowly because my 1st would with hold hers for days on end because I think she was confused and scared. We are putting a diaper on my 2 1/2 year old when she has to poop but she is getting a reward when she goes and sits on the potty with the diaper and poops. The next step is going to be cutting a hole in the bottom of the diaper so it actually goes in the potty and then to no diaper. Hope this helps.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I suggest a good dose of patients. He's doing quite well for peeing in the potty at 2 1/2 (average age for boys to be trained is actually past 3 years old). I would suggest getting pullups or even diapers - they are way easier than cleaning out undies. Continue to praise him for every success. During the summer it wouldn't hurt to let him around bottomless but be prepared to clean up any messes.
Just remember that it doesn't help to make a fight over potty training. It's one aspect of his life he can control no matter what you say. Be happy when it happens!

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

Fortunately, I hadn't had to struggle too much, but know several friends who did. Their kids weren't totally trained until nearly 4. One even asked for a diaper at age 4.5 to poop in. anyway, my two year old son we let run around without pants in big tees. He once pooped on the floor (we have hard woods!) He was so freaked out. the next ime he ran fast to make the potty and did it again in front of the toilet. It is grose...but that is what Clorox wipes are for. By the thrid time, he was able to figure out what it feels like and run and has made it ever since. Also, maybe increase fiber in diet (flax meal) if it comes out as nuggets. It may be painfully and scary. It should be formed and slide right in the toilet in an curve shape...not dark and hard.

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M.W.

answers from Denver on

I have three boys (!) who are way beyond potty training but I remember those days. I recall a similar issue with my oldest son who is now 16 1/2. When he would go in his underwear we would go to his potty and I would dump the poop into it so that he could see where it should go, what it looked like, etc. I think poop is scarier than pee LOL. I think changing to pull up diapers and telling your son that he can't wear "big boy" underwear until he poops in the potty is completely fine and could work. You can also not worry about it at all because he will eventually poop on the potty "all by himself". Good luck and easy birthing to you :-)

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T.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

He isn't ready to be potty trained. Two of my sons waited until they were 3 or 4 to start using the potty. Its their decision when they are ready. Making him go when he isnt ready can do more harm and can prolong the process. Just let him go pee in the potty and engourage him to use it all the time. He will come around. Training pants are wonderful also he might be stubborn towards it because your having another baby and he wants to stay the baby. My youngest did that. He even told me that he didn't want to be a big boy he wanted to stay my baby forever. ;)

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R.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter had had constipation troubles before she potty trained, so I had suppositories. For some reason, my daughter was scared to poop in the potty. She was getting backed up again from holding it, and the doc told me to use the suppositories. She said it would probably even help with potty training because she would feel the urge to push. So, I would give her the suppository while in the bathroom and immediately put her on the potty. It worked the first time! She had the urge to push, she pushed, it all "worked out" and she was surprised that is wasn't scary to poop on the potty. She never had trouble after that. She just had to have that initial poop.

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B.M.

answers from Denver on

Hi There,

I am a mother of 3 (ages 17,15,11) and I found that no matter what I tried with the potty training, it all boiled down to the fact that they will do it when they are ready. It seemed that when each of my kids were ready, they were TOTALLY potty trained in 1 week. So, my advice is that you just need to encourage them to go poop in the potty and continue to try, but know that they will do it in their own time frame. Also, boys tend to train later than girls. I know you would love him trained by the time the baby arrives, but don't be surprised if he regresses a little after the baby is born.

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J.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

There is a great book called "You Can Go to the Potty" that my child loved - she still asks to read it and she was potty trained by 24 months. The book got her really excited about going to the potty and has some good suggestions for parents as well.

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C.F.

answers from Denver on

L., I would follow his lead, especially with a new baby coming. his world is getting rocked and he already senses it.
i think when potty "training" is initiated by the kid they tend to have a lot less accidents and they are excited and ready to learn a new skill. Potty training (like most things with kids)is not linear,they're interested and do it and then may not again for 2 months and then only pee or poop in the potty but not every time, etc. My son read the potty book for boys over and over. We just had it around and only read it when he chose to, and he loved it. It really got him excited to use the potty. You might consider putting him back in diapers, not shaming him, but saying, it seems like you're ready to pee in the potty but not quite ready to poop in the potty yet, so let's use diapers again and you can take them off when you need to pee, and if you want to use the potty for pooping, we can take them off for that too. My son pooped in his diapers for a long time after he started peeing in the potty. For some reason, pooping in the potty was more intimidating to him. I did have the rule that we changed his diaper when i was ready to (he wouldn't want to stop to poop or get changed), so the priviledge of getting his preference to poop in a diaper carried with it the requirement of being changed when it worked for me. He would tell me he had to poop and I would always offer him the choice, do you want to go in the potty or in your diaper - sometimes he chose one and sometimes the other. I think he even did it in the potty for a while and then went back to his diaper for most poops. One day he went in his diaper and it was big and messy and really grossed him out and that was it. The next time he said i have to poop, i said, do you want to go in the potty or in your diaper? i think he said diaper, and i said, ok, but remember last time you didn't like how messy it was... are you sure? he decided to go in the potty and that was it for the diapers (except at night), he wore those until he was almost five. Also, when he's sitting on the potty, read him books that he likes so he can relax and feel comfortable for this big step. Now my son reads to himself while he goes. And i have to say, he has had few to no accidents. i think kids WANT to explore and take the next steps, when they're ready. i think sometimes we read or are told by doctors or friends that our kids should be doing certain things by certain ages, but really, they all get there, and when they do it in their own time they can really feel good about it, i think. Good luck, and take the pressure off of you and him, he'll be using that potty before you know it, there's no rush!

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S.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It took 18 months to train my 4 year old, and pooping was the biggest issue for her. We finally went and got an over-the-counter suppository that's designed for kids. I figured if she could just go a couple of times on the potty, she'd get used to the feeling and go regularly. It worked. We used them once a day for about a week. The next week I only had to use them a couple of times. She is now FINALLY fully potty trained. The other thing I did was to make her clean up if she pooped in her panties. It does make a mess, but that really helped, too. She didn't like cleaning it up about as much as I didn't like cleaning it up. Good luck!

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