Fender Bender - What Would You Do?

I would have done what you did. Even though the damage as minimal, you deserve to have the option of repair & compensation. I had a bumper cover replaced once for a similar incident and I think it as over $700 and that was over 10 years ago!

I think you did the right thing. I would have gotten the info just in case. I would NOT have had the attitude the lady had with you- thats horrible! She was at fault-- I think she just didn't want to admit it.

M

People feel no sense of accountability anymore. My husband was in a bad three-car accident on the freeway last week and the guy who caused it all took off. Thank goodness you got any information from her. Definitely get information, even if things seem minor. You may not realize certain damage until you've calmed from the shock of being hit.

If I was at fault, I would have felt horrible and in no way would have given the victim a hard time.

I have actually been there as the person who bumped another (3x's) and as a person who got bumped (2x's). When I got bumped and saw very minimal damage, I just told the person to be careful next time, if there was enough damage where I needed to replace something (like a bumper, a tail light, etc) then I asked to exchange.
When I bumped people I always offered to exchange insurance, only 1 time did they want to do that. The other times we settled with cash, or with a "sorry" and went our separate ways. The one time we exchanged insurances, I was 16 and bumped a minivan in front of me, and pushed that van into another car, and pushed that car into another car! LOL.
The only car out of all 3 that has visible damage was the minivan and her bumper had a deep dent in it and a scratch. I gave all three people my insurance info and got theirs....the only one who filed was the last woman, who had the oldest, most beat up clunker, and my insurance denied her claim (well she tried to blame ALL the damage on her car on the accident, so she was a lil ignorant).
So I guess it's a toss up. If I bump someone, I don't care the amount of damage I get out and talk to that person. I would never be offended by someone asking me to exchange info if I was at fault. I think I am also a little more relaxed about it is because my dad was a mechanic and so is my SO. So scratches, small dents, and all of that has always been easily taken care of for me. =)
All in all I think you did the right thing.

Your approach was absolutely reasonable. Sheesh - She hit your bumper. The first thing out of her mouth should have been an apology.

I have bumped the person in front of me and I've been bumped by the person behind me. Both times I got out, saw no serious damage and did not exchange info. But then, I've had a lot of experience both personal and professional with motor vehicle accidents which tempers my response to minor bumps.

It is fine that you exchanged info. Without my previous experiences I might have also asked for that. Exchanging info in this situation is required by law if one part requests it. I would have been courteous and am sorry that this woman took offense. In your place I would consider that she just responds to stress in this way and not take her response personally. Consider that she was at fault and if you file a claim her insurance may go up in price.

My way of handling a situation when I'm worried is to be as nice as possible in hopes that the other person wouldn't file a complaint. However, I've found that for most people becoming irritated and defensive is more likely. Mark this down as a learning experience and let it go. If this were to happen again perhaps you could reassure the other person that you're not out to make life difficult; that you'd like the info because it's required by law.

As to filing a police report, this happened on private property. The police will not get involved. And, in today's world of not enough officers, the police also do not get involved in non-injury accidents unless it's to direct traffic while the scene gets cleared.

OMG! How annoying! Even if SHE thought it wasn't a big deal her attitude made it into one. I recently backed into a parked cars bumper on my street. Similar...little scratches and I thought it would be fine to let it go and not tell anyone. This thought lasted all of 5 minutes before I was at their door with my insurance info. Because the thought I also had was that it didn't matter what I felt or how I assessed the damage because it wasn't my innocent car with scratches. When I told the person they were really nice, took my phone number to call if they decided it was enough to share insurance info. They didn't want my insurance info and didn't even go out to look at their car! I never heard from them so it worked out for me:)

But what if they saw me hit their car and confronted me about it and I was a jerk? Maybe they'd seek revenge on my poor attitude? And I probably would have deserved it too!

I'm also very polite to anyone serving me food for the same reason;)

You aren't crazy, the woman was just rude and entitled...or maybe having a bad day or week or year. Either way, you probably sleep better at night so take solice in knowing you are a good person because it's fair to others but also because it makes you a happier person.

My two cents at least!

I've bumped someone before and they wanted to shrug it off. I gave them my information and encouraged them to get it checked anyway. I don't think they ever did because I never heard about it. My understanding is bumpers are important and can sustain damage that isn't visible to us but compromises the bumper. So that means it won't protect you as well if you are in a more severe accident. So, as bad as Insurance companies have become and none of us want a "mark" or "point" I think her response was uncalled for.

I think you were right in exchanging information. I actually got rear ended on Thursday. It was a snow storm, and we were at a dead stop. The woman behind us was unable to stop and slid into us. My husband was driving and we both got out to look. In first inspection, I only saw a tiny scratch. it looked like the hitch absorbed the impact. She had a small ding on her license plate. We exchanged info and I told her that if there was any damage I would call since I couldn't tell since it was snowing. when we got home and I wiped off the car, i could see a few long stratches on the bumper. My husband tried to look underneath the car but he couldn't tell if anything looked damaged (due to mud and snow). I decided to call the insurance company and I am taking my car in tomorrow and will get a rental. It is always best to err on the side of caution. Especially since vehicles are expensive to replace. Why chance the fact that something detrimental could have happened to your car and it wouldn't become apparent until it was too late? There's no harm in getting a free estimate to find out if there is unseen damage before contacting the insurance agency.

Now on the flip side. When I was in high school I bumped someone. We both got out and looked at the cars. I had a small dent in the license plate and he had no apparent damage. I offered to exchange info and he said it looked fine and drove off. When I got home and told my parents, my dad said he probably had a warrant or no insurance and didn't want to file a claim! I think it entirely depends on the person. I would always offer my insurance just in case, but she might have thought if your car was "older" it shouldn't matter if it had an extra ding lol. I had my old high school clunker backed into in a parking lot. I came out and said hey as the guy gave me a dirty look and drove away. He had a brand new car, which had a cracked light while my tank didn't have a mark!

I have been in nearly your same situation. I had a woman rear end me at a yield sign. She scratched the rear bumper, and it was actually enough to dent it. I took it to a body shop where I knew the guy and he said it'd be over $300 to fix it. I didn't even call the woman for the money or do the repair. It was barely noticable and I traded the vehicle in soon after. The dealer didn't even mention the damage and I am sure it would not have effected the offer.

The woman who hit me did not appear upset at all that I requested her info. She was perfectly willing to accept responsibility as she knew she was at fault.

If I was the party at fault I would have easily complied. In fact, on something so minor I would suggest we handle it personally instead of notifying the insurance company and risk our rates going up.

I had someone do something similar at a stoplight. She was doing something in the car and her foot slipped off the brake. I popped out and took a look at the bumper. There was a scrape or two, but like you, the car had already seen better days. I just let it go- probably because the lady was so apologetic. I would not have had this attitude. She probably thought it was no big deal, but maybe she'll pay more attention next time!

I have been on both sides of this situation. I have had damage done to my vehicle and did not get it fixed because it wasn't enough damage to worry about. The repair shop was going to charge $800 to fix the bumper and would need my car for a week, therefore, I would have had to get a rental (at the other persons expense of course). I chose not to go forward because I felt that no more damage than a scratch and the impression of a screw wasn't worth all the trouble. On the flip side, I have bumped someone in the drive thru and had to actually call the police myself. Luckily I did and also took pictures. The lady I bumped actually had damage to the back of her vehicle already, so, while the vehicles were still in the position of where we bumped I took pictures. This lady actually tried to get my insurance to repair her previous damage. Since I had documented the bump up, insurance would only pay for the damage I caused (I ended up paying out of pocket...cheaper that way) and she was charged with committing insurance fraud...lol. So, I can see where someone might get flustered over a bump up...she could have had an experience such as I did.

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I have been there. Once I was backed into, did not get the info, and regretted it when I realized the dent was worse than I first thought. Once I was rear ended, also at a fast food place, only this time I was in my truck. When I looked at the damage I saw that my tow hitch had went into the other persons radiator. We did not exchange info since it was their fault and there was no damage to my truck. If there was in fact some damage, than it is up to you if you want info, and if you file, and the other person should be polite about it, they were, after all, at fault. On the same note, my mom once rear ended a woman at a stop light. The light turned green, and everyone started to go, and than the woman stopped and my mom did not. They were going about 5 mph. My mom was late for surgery so she gave the woman he info "just in case" although she saw no damage, and left. A couple of days later her insurance company called asking about the accident, saying the woman was claiming a damaged bumper and neck pain!!! That may be why the woman was hesitant in giving the info, some people are just looking for a pay day, at the expense of others.

Always exchange info. I learned this the hard way. I got hit, thought there wasn't really any damage, didn't exchange info and let it go. Then later on I found out there was lots of damage that I couldn't see-killed my windshield wiper fluid resivoir, crushed a "honeycomb" type protection thing in my rear bumper, etc. Very hard lesson learned.

Take the car in and get it checked out. May have more damage than you know.

I would have exchanged info no matter what, even if there were no signs of any damage at all, whether I was at fault or not. That way you have it just in case.

There was some damage to your car, so she is legally required by law to take responsibility for it, whether she likes it or not. You have every right to file a claim with her insurance (if she even has any...there's a good possibility the info she gave you isn't current). Good luck with everything!

Definitely get the info, take pictures, etc. My husband, who I always accuse of being too nice, was hit in the back, did not see damage, and just let the lady go. She was a bully like the one who hit you and got on her phone immediately, acted like nothing happened, pretended to be in a huge hurry, and told whoever was on the other end of the phone that since there was no damage seen there was no need to give insurance info. A while later, he noticed his trunk door no longer sits flush. If he had taken her info and had the car checked, the problem would have been fixed. Always get the info because you can't "see" all the problems that might be there, even in a light crash.

You did the right thing.........she is the one at fault and she is probably upset at her mistake that she may pay for.

You sound like you are not the sue happy type of family, you just want your car repaired.

As for her response... immature and not mature enough to accept responsibility for a mistake.

Our motto..........You make a mistake...you fix it. Take responsibility for your actions and teach your children the same.

I would not have handled it differently than you did.

I would have done the same thing... you never know what damage could have happen, or what she would say to her insurance company... also, she probably rolled her eyes because she was the one at fault!

You are totally in the right! You now have damage to your car through no fault of your own! You would be surprised at how much things cost to fix these days. A similar thing happened to my mom. The damage seemed minimal and she ended up needing a new bumper to make it perfect--which was quite expensive (she has a BMW). I'm not sure how you file a claim since it doesn't sound like there is a police report?

If I hit someone, even if it caused no damage, I would be so sorry and apologetic. She was in the wrong--no matter how you slice it!

I would have looked for damage but from what you described I wouldn't have traded insurance info.

You can never cover yourself when it comes to accidents. You just never know these days. I think what you did was fine. I mean, you could have gotten her information, got an estimate and then determine whether to even file a claim is even in the best interest. Me, personally, I wouldn't have acted that way. That's just me though. If they wanted to exchange info, okay fine then. If the other party didn't, I still would have asked just to cover myself for later.

If the damage was as minimal as you said, I would not have asked for the insurance information. I would have just chaulked it up to "accidents happen" and maybe some day another individual will pay the forgiveness attitude forward. On the other hand, if it was my fault, I would not have thought you were crazy for asking for the information. After all, it was my fault. My husband actually parked in a parking spot at the mall one day and our car rolled forward a bit and bumped the car in front of us. The people were in the car and we apologized a million times and asked if they wanted our information. They told us no that the car already had a few dings in it anyway. They were the nicest people. They could have blamed us for many blemishes on their car and we would have just had to pay for it. Maybe that is what this women was thinking you guys were going to do. You mentioned that your car was a bit beatup so maybe she thought you were going to try to take her to the cleaners by making a claim for more damage that what she actually did.

You know... I really think if I was the one who had hit someone else I would feel SO badly that I wasn't paying attention that I would be OFFERING to hand over my insurance information.

And yes, it was the right thing to do. Sure, the damage might be minor but it's still damage. If there was NO visible damage then maybe not... but since there IS visible damage then you should exchange information and then go from there.

Who cares what the lady says.... A bumper replacement can top a couple thou....

Exchanging insurance info was good, but a police report with it would have been better. It can save you a lot of time if the insurance company wants to give you the run around.

You did the RIGHT thing. Whether or not there was major damage, you are correct in that you could have found more damange later. The woman was wrong to assume she could bump into another car and just walk away. She likely didn't have insurance and was reluctant becuase of the laws that require drivers to have insurance. I have been in an accident where the driver at fault didn't have insurance, and the money all came out of my pocket. If I was that woman, i would have felt terrible and offered any assistance possible. The problem with today's people, is that they don't have a concience, which sounds like this lady didn't either.

you did the right thing and I would have gladly given you my info or cash that would have covered it so my insurance wouldn't go up - I had someone give me money one time when they had a fender bender with me and that made both parties happy.. at the time, I was shocked (and younger so didn't know why they did that) that they would just give me money so fast! lol

I have been on both sides. She sounds like a real 'winner.' I am glad she finally gave her info. Please get an estimate because you never know if something is damaged under the bumper that you can't see on the surface.

When someone hit me, you better believe I took their info! Sadly, I didn't get my car fixed, and now it is probably too late. (I am not sure if there is a time limit to how long you have. I think insurance companies close the case after awhile.)
When I hit the lady in front of me (the roads were VERY slick and the car in front of her stopped short - she had time; I didn't), we exchanged info as quick as we could. We were both in a hurry to get to work. I pleaded with her to get an estimate and call me with it so I could pay cash instead of turning it in, since it looked like minimal damage. She gave me a copy of the estimate and we met again and both signed a paper that said it was paid for and nothing further needed to be done (just to cover my bum.....she was having a friend fix it - it ended up just needing a surface paint buff and repaint). The insurance company was never involved, but I gave her my info as reassurance that her car would be taken care of.

You definitely did the right thing. My husband was hit once and the guy did not want to give his info. It was really late at night so he figured since it was just a minor bump, he would file in the morning. When he went to the police station, the guy had filed that my husband hit him. He even tried to get our insurance to cover his "damage"--which was rusted so no way my husband caused it. Our insurance agent went to the "scene of the accident" and saw that there was no way my husband could have damaged the front of the other guys car and we won that bit.

This woman was trying to bully/shame you into not filing a claim (by making you feel foolish).

To answer your question: I would have done the exact same thing you did and asked for the insurance info. You have the right to have the car in the same condition it was before you met this woman. And if it were the other way around, I would definitely not act the way she did... but I am a rare case... I actually hunted down the owner of a car I bumped into (no real damage) in a parking lot to give them my insurance information. That is just the way I was brought up - to take responsibility for my actions, to treat others as I wish to be treated. And that is what I want to pass along to my kids.

Like others suggested, get the car checked out just in case. Good luck!

I bumped a brand new car in the drive thru when my transmission jumped.
I got out and gave her the information, apologized, and let her vent about her new car. It had a pencil mark for damage. The insurance gave her a check for $50 because they wiped it off at the dealership where she went to get an estimate. In fact, they don't think I did it, but it is not worth a lawsuit.
She was happy and I knew I did the right thing.

We once had "almost no damage" that upon further inspection cost us $3500. Luckily the dealer told me before fixing it so the insurance could come inspect it and they paid.

She was out of line and she knows it.

A woman rear ended me at a stop light...before i got out of the car she had called the police and her insurance company. There was no damage to my car so we didn't file a report or anything...but my daughter was in the car in her car seat which we replaced because they are not covered once in an accident...the woman payed for the seat and was really nice about everything. A few months earlier I hit someone from the side again before I got out he was on phone with police, he had less damage then I did, we pleasantly exchanged info...I got a ticket...we both had to replace our car seats...I had all three in the car that time...he had 2 kids with him only one car seat. This is normal way to deal with being in an accident...the police being called I think is the only over the top with mine...that's because my ticket cost almost $300 and no one was hurt...if someone maybe hurt police and 911 for sure! I'm sorry you have had to deal with this mess:(

You were right to get her information and to take pictures. I was rearended by what turned out to be a drunk driver so, of course, I immediately called the police. The damage to my car was like yours just some scrapes and imprints from the screws of the license plate. I didn't think that I was hurt but boy the next day, I had a lot of back pain. I went to the doctor who told me that I was having muscle spasms. I suffered from those spasms for about a month.

If I was in her position, I would have given you my insurance information and I would have made sure to take pictures of the damage for myself. My dad had backed into a neighbor's car and caused a small dent. They didn't call the police although my dad should have because the neighbor and his wife were major troublemakers. My dad's insurance ended up paying to repair all the damage to that side of the car that the neighbor's children had caused. Because there was no police report, the neighbor took advantage and claimed my dad caused all the damage.

Any damage to someone else's property is DAMAGE plain and simple, no matter how big or small. She hit you and that's considered an "accident". Anytime something like this happens and you find yourself with a person who is getting loud or uncooperative, it is best to call the police. They can file a report or even write a citation and believe me....if someone gets cited, they are going to pay for the damages! Hopefully, in this case, both of you had your car insurance intact and up to speed. My guess is that her insurance company will have to pay for the minor repairs or she can choose to pay you out of her own pocket. The lady probably got loud with you because she realized that she wasn't going to get away with what she had done. She bumped you and it caused damage. Case closed. She's in the wrong and it's up to you guys as to what gets repaired because she hit you. Her attitude is a bad one at best and maybe if she had been nicer and apologetic, you might have cut her a break....or not. I hope you get your car fixed up as it should be and that you don't have anymore headaches with this lady. Call your auto insurance company and let them duke it out with her. Oh...and save those photos. That was a smart move on your part! Hand them over to the insurance company if they need them and continue to keep them for at least a year even after the car is repaired. People are weird....and you never know if you may need them again!

I made the mistake of looking at a minor bump and driving away b/c i was late for class and i didn't think it was worth it to take the time to exchange info. Turns out my cursory glance missed a fairly large dent that depreciated my car quite a bit so that I lost a lot of money when it was time to sell the thing. It's always a good idea to exchange info and take pics of the cars. Even if you don't file, you never know if, as you said, more serious damage occurred where you can't see it. Also, if I had hit you, I totally would have been sheepish and given you my info. That lady's nuts to think that you would have walked away without it.