Ex Husband Wants Me to Pay for Half of Cobra Costs

Updated on July 26, 2010
L.J. asks from Fort Wayne, IN
17 answers

My ex husband recently lost his job. Our children were covered under his insurance plan. He now wants me to pay for half the Cobra costs. If this happens, it means the money would come out of their child support money. Actually, I should let you know that my children do not receive child support payments, but instead they are called "section 71 payments" as they are taxable to me and a tax write-off for him. One of the our children has autism, so I do not want to take a chance on having a gap in coverage. I already pay money out of the section 71 payments for her autism coverage. Am I responsible for also covering half the Cobra costs each month? I do not have a job, although I have been actively looking for one. My options have been limited because I was a stay at home mom, including taking care of a child with autism. Does it make sense that I would now have to pay half the Cobra costs? I would ask my attorney, but he charges $250.00 an hour and even charges if I ask him a quick question via e-mail. It was quite an effort getting the lawyer paid off the first time and I really am trying to avoid this path, although I will if needed. I am really worried about covering these expenses and do not want to use money intended for my children to do so. Thank you very much for your time and help with this issue.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Get them on Hoosier Healthwise while you're both unemployed. It's up to both of you to support them and if neither of you has a job, it's not solely his responsibility to pay for their health coverage.

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T.S.

answers from Eugene on

The most likely reason your ex-husband is asking for this is the cost. If he recently lost his job, he is dealing with being squeezed at the income end because unemployment does not typically cover more than 75% of his prior income and the prior income is actually calculated over a period of the previous couple of years probably. So, even if he's getting good unemployment, and even if he has had a good paying job recently, perhaps even living quite well, whatever means he has to make whatever payments on whatever bills he usually has is significantly reduced.
He is also being squeezed at the other end, because Cobra is hugely expensive--to the point where most people who get laid off simply cannot afford it, especially given the above reduced income standards.

That doesn't mean it's your job to pay for half of it. I agree with those who have said you should consult your attorney. I know it's incredibly expensive to do so, but this should not be a major time factor for the attorney, especially if you do use email or phone. Just line up your specific questions ahead of time, and be sure to look over your own divorce agreement first. Was your ex-husband ordered to provide insurance? What was the agreement about co-pays and other out-of-pocket expenses? What does your state do when there is a significant change of circumstances in one parent or the other also? Is it possible your ex might get his own attorney to file a request to change the support order? I think it would be well worth the investment of an hour of your attorney's time to find out what might happen and what your options are.

Finally, the health care act that was passed last winter begins to go into effect this fall. It is quite possible that your children will be able to be covered under this new law. It is worth doing some research to find out what the possibilities might be, as well as simply looking into Medicaid options, SCHIP, etc, to see if you can get your children covered through some other method than Cobra.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

He is not obligated to take out Cobra, so if you want your children to have insurance, then you just might want to bite the bullet and pay the other half.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

check your divorce papers. generally the non custodial paper is forced to supply insurance along with support. If he isn't, call the people who handle your support order, and then your local job and family services. Child support, or whom ever in your case, will take care of trying to enforce the order. I know here if insurance is not provided then support goes up. And job and family can be sure you don't have a gap in coverage of some sort at least.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Sioux Falls on

If he was ordered to pay for health insurance, you are not obligated to pay for half of the Cobra insurance. But, if it means losing the insurance because he can't pay for it, and you can afford it, then you may want to. Is there a Medicaid program that your children would qualify for? This would be a situation warranting checking it out.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

check your custody agreement. it should include a statement about who pays for medical coverage. if it is the father that is supposed to pay for coverage, then it doesn't matter where it comes from (work or cobra), the payment is his.

however, he might feel (reasonably so) that a change to his employment status requires a review and change of the custody agreement. so be prepared that if you decline to help w/cobra that you may end up w/a court date.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.O.

answers from Toledo on

Call your child support enforcement office. You will have a caseworker there that you can speak with. I just went through something similar.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

You need to check you divorce decree. If it states that he is responsible for providing health insurance, than no you do not have to pay part of it. However, if the agreement is not clear on this issue, then you really should consult your attorney. Paying $125 for some advise vs. paying potentionally $1,000's (depends on how long he's out of work) is well worth it. To save on atty fees, find the section of your divorce decree that relates to this and have it ready when you call, or attach it to the e-mail.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

if the divorce decree states he is responsible for providing children with health insurance then you are not obligated to do so.
he can always stop making payments then no one will have insurance. so if i were you, i'd talk to him about it and tell him how much (if any) you can afford to chip in for paying cobra. even if it is less than 50 per cent of the cost. otherwise, i would try to find a pro bono lawyer who will give you some advice.
good luck

A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think you need to talk to your lawyer, even though 250 is a lot of money for a conversation. In my experience with the COBRA program, I had to pay $662.00 a month while pregnant, along with $582.00 the month my son was born, so he was covered for two weeks! I am sure my circumstance was different, I just know that COBRA is costly and wanted you to be prepared! Good Luck!

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

No, but to be sure you really need to ask a professional that knows the laws in your state, get a different attorney if needed but it is a question he can answer. I personally would tell your ex to suck it up and get a job.

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Personally I would say NO. As other people said: look at the divorce decree. If he is responsible for child support and insurance then he must supply that. If not, then typically you get more money ($75-$100 more/month) for child to supply insurance. There are legal Aid Lawyers, you should qualify for, that can answer questions for free and also do the court stuff for free. These people care just as much about helping you as a lawyer that charges $250. I happen to know a couple of them personally and they do take their jobs very seriously.
You can also call the local Family services number and they can give you pointers on which way to go from here for your particular state and location. I did some quick research and the numbers that will have information in Indiana are: Indiana

Agency: Indiana Department of Child Services
Information: ###-###-####
Go to the Indiana Department of Child Services.

Agency: Indiana Family and Social Services Administration
Public Eligibility Verification: ###-###-####
Go to the Indiana Family and Social Services Administration.

I wish you the best of luck!

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

If the court ordered him to maintain health insurance for your children, then that I would think that he would also be responsible for paying for the entire cost of the cobra coverage as well. Your lawyer should have mailed you a copy of all of the court orders so you can check the most recent ones to find out what they have to say.

Out here in Nevada, children with autism can apply for SSI coverage due to their disability. If they are denied SSI coverage (usually because the parents earn too much) then the child can apply for Katie Beckett Medicaid (medicaid gap coverage). Do you have something like this available in Indiana? We also have a regional center that provides certain available options for programs to help children with special needs access the services that they need and it is usually based upon the parents' income. Since your husband is no longer employed and you are a SAHM, due to your change of income, you may want to check out these alternative resources for treatment and funding just in case your husband doesn't end up doing what he is supposed to do for your children.

Sending you a special prayer that everything works out in your favor. Hang in there, Mama!

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M.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

I would talk to a lawyer (amrybe Legal Aid) 1st to find out what your responsibility is. The government has programs that will give health insurance to your kids (in OH it's called CHIP). You may be able to get them on that. The only problem is that then your husband may not be willing to put them back on his later, which is another thing to ask a lawyer about.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Check with your custody agreement, it should state who is responsible to cover insurance.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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Y.C.

answers from New York on

Can your husband just get different/cheaper insurances?

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