Dog Problems. - Bloomsburg,PA

Updated on April 07, 2011
J.M. asks from Harrisburg, PA
22 answers

Ok so 3 days ago we got a dog. He is our first. He is a 7 y/o golden retreiver mix. He is a sweet dog. Very clingy. His owners are friends of ours and had to move to Fl but could not take the dog.
We have 4 kids ages 2, 4, 6, and 7. Its a bit crazy here. The problem is today Mickey, the dog, growled at my 2 youngest kids. 2 seperate incidents. The first time my 2 year old was in the living room with him, I was doing dishes. My 2 year old was getting a little rambunkchious I could hear it in his voice. I heard the dog growl. My 2 y/o backed off right away and so did the dog. I scolded my 2 year old even though I didn't see what happened. The next time was at my 4 y/o. The dog was laying on the floor sleeping and he stepped close to the dog and Mickey jumped up quick and growled startled.
Our friends that had him didn't have any kids so...
Now what? Should I find a different home for him or give it a little longer? I have got really attached to him in the short period of time, and it would break my heart to get rid of him, but I LOVE my childern and do not want to see anything bad happen to them. What should I do?

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So What Happened?

I got a lot of great advise and ideas from everyone, thank you. We decided to keep Mickey. He really is a good dog. He is now always supervised around the kids, the kids are never left alone with him. He does wag his tail when they pet him so I know he likes them a bit. I think if he is given time he will come around. He is very sensitive and loving. Right now he is going through a rough time. I also let the kids take turns giving him treats. Bribery maybe but both Mickey and the kids love it.

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M.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Ditto Elizabeth F, as I too have volunteered in shelters for years and worked with dogs almost my whole life. Its good that the dog is growling, that is the only way he knows how to give a warning. And no matter how well/long you've had a dog, children under 12yo should never be left alone with them. Classes/training need to be done immediately for everyone. Good luck!

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Yes, I agree with Toni. He is 7. That is like, late 40's in people years. He is not accustomed to the children. It isn't just noise, or them playing with him. Children are VERY unpredictable in their movements and even their temperaments. And I would imagine that the kids LOVE him and tend to want to play with him a LOT. That could be very annoying to the dog. Does he have a space to get away from the kids and the chaos if he wants to?

Please try to find a calmer atmosphere for him, where he will be comfortable. It can be extremely stressful for animals if their home environment is changed dramatically (not just the homes and people themselves, but the TYPE of home/people... the atmosphere, calm/quiet vs. loud/chaotic, etc).

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E.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I did dog rescue long before I had kids, so I probably have a little different perspective on this. If you are serious about this dog, you need to get it and yourselves to an obedience class. This dog has been severely traumatized by being abandoned by the people he loves. He is going to need time to adjust and bond, and, find his new place in your pack. You need to learn about dogs, fast. The dog is challenging your kids for a place in your pack, and he will keep doing it until he learns that he is the lowest ranked animal in the house. This is going to take 1) you learning how to be the alpha and 2) you keeping the children away from the dog until that settles down. Which means you and your husband are going to pretty much have to spend every minute you are not with the kids with the dog until he settles in. If you can't handle the responsibility of learning about a rescue dog (you read books and talked to pediatricians when you were pregnant/had babies, right?), then you need to contact Golden Rescue or another dog rescue immediately. This is NOT the dog's fault. Here are some links to good books:

http://www.amazon.com/Petfinder-com-Adopted-Dog-Bible-She...

http://www.amazon.com/Successful-Dog-Adoption-Sue-Sternbe...

If you do rehouse the dog, however, I want you to think about the message that it send to your children. Pets are an enormous responsibility, and not something we throw away when we move, or get tired of them, or don't want to live up to our responsibilities. Everyone makes mistakes, and, of course, your children's safety is paramount. Maybe you've made a mistake. But if you have, you owe it to the poor dog to find it a situation that will work out better for it, and not expect some rescue organization to swoop in and make all your problems go away.

I really think this can work for your family, and that it can end up being a real blessing to you all. Call a Dog trainer today. Buy some books. Put up a couple gates so you can manage where the kids/dog are. It's going to be a rough adjustment for a few weeks-- just like it was everytime you brought a new baby home. But you can figure it out together!

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

I agree that it will take some time for the dog to adjust. NEVER ever leave your kids alone with the dog. I've always been a dog owner and I've always, always followed that rule myself. Even the best dog can have a "moment". If you can, constant supervision, never leave them alone not even for a second. If not, then I agree that you should find a quieter home for the pooch. But if you're willing to put in the time (supervision) and effort (training) then I think it will work out just fine.

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J.R.

answers from Glens Falls on

First thing, until you have more information, your children should not be unsupervised with the dog. The dog is probably pretty anxious right now and anxious can come out as aggression in a dog. He used to be part of a different pack and he knew exactly what his place was in that pack. Now it's all changed and he has to figure out his place in the new pack. It would be good if you kept to a routine with him - just like a child, right now structure will help him feel safe. Feeding times, outside times, play times, bedtime. Maybe you could take the whole family, including dog, for a walk together daily. Walking together really helps a dog understand this is the pack and we are all in the pack together. Make sure you and your husband feed the kids before the dog and greet the kids before the dog - then the dog. Let the kids set his food down on the floor for him. Talk to the kids about how to treat a dog. Young children need to know not to wake a sleeping dog, or bother a dog that is eating, or try to take a toy away from him. (You will want to do training with him so that all of this is possible but during adjustment, you don't want the kids to unwittingly create more anxiousness or fear and kids are lower to the ground, have higher voices and move quickly!) Do try to take a training class with him. It will help him see you as the leader and you will get valuable advice on how a dog thinks. Ask your vet for a reference. You should see improvement within a few weeks. Good luck!

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Oh J.,

This dog does not belong in your home. As a parent and a dog lover I do not understand WHY you and your friends would even consider this arrangement. The breed is great with kids, but this dog is 7 years old and perhaps has not been use to so many little ones around.

I hope you will be able to find a good home for the dog, but your children's safety must come first.

Let us know how this works out.

Blessings....

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I agree with others who say that the dog and children can't be alone together right now, and that you should learn about how to be the 'alpha dog' so that you can teach the golden where he place is in the 'pack'. In the meantime, carve out a separate spot for the dog where he can go and get used to the noise without being in the middle of it. Maybe a room that you don't use very often could be separated with a baby gate. And then have the dog and kids together when you can be hands-on and in control, such as going for a walk, with the kids along and the dog on a leash.

Most dogs, even those who have been around kids all their lives, appreciate having thier own 'time-out' spot where they know they can go and the kids aren't allowed to bother them - a crate, or a dog bed, or even just a special corner with a blanket. You may feel like you are being mean by sectioning the dog off from the family right now, but in the long run, you'll be creating the dog's security spot.

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M.L.

answers from Erie on

I say give him a chance...he's an older dog and came from a quiet house (i assume if they didn't have kids!). Goldens are excellent family dogs and he just may need some time to adjust. think about it from his perspective...he's the king of the house with two adults living his happy life...then all of a sudden the people he knew for 7 years are gone and he's in a different house with new smells, new people and 4 kids...that's a HUGE lifestyle change.

Maybe don't leave the kids alone with him until he adjusts and try to teach the kids about having a dog...get a book or movie about getting a dog or having a dog. get the kids involved in feeding him, walking him and definitely get the kids to play with him...this will help to let the dog know that you're not going to hurt him and you just want to play with him. Your older kids could help teach the younger ones too just by setting a good example. My 18 month old helps to feed our dog and give him treats.

Good luck!

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

Typically, goldens really want to please and are very good with kids. I've had 2, both of whom came into our family (separately) from homes without small kids. Took a little adjustment time, but all worked out wonderfully.

I agree. Don't allow your younger children to be alone with this dog right now. And hire a really good trainer. The dog may know the basic commands, but you want him to see you and your family as being higher up the ladder than he. A good trainer won't only work with the dog, but with the kids (well, maybe not the 2 yo) and the dog. Then, you can make a better informed decision.

Call a trainer. Now. If you don't know any, get in touch with your local pet store or animal control officer or shelter and see if they know anyone.

Goldens are wonderful -- but sometimes need help to get there.

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M.V.

answers from New York on

2 things...give the dog a chance to get acclimated - it sounds like you have a very busy household and the dog is not used to that much activity. Make sure you have a quiet place for the dog to call his own space - a crate, a dog bed, whatever, in a room with little foot traffic. Secondly, you need to teach your children how to treat the dog - how to pet him properly, etc. so they gain his trust. It's still a very new situation for everyone! Tell your kids that a growl is a warning - they are to back off immediately! Give it a little time, but also realize it's going to take some effort to make it work. Goldens are such loving and lovable dogs - great family pets - but can also be high maintenance (they are VERY needy!). I hope it all works out for you.

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T.N.

answers from Boston on

That is a very difficult question to answer.

I think the only thing you can do ( besides find him a new home) is to not allow him to be alone with the children. At least for now.

Give him time to become adjusted to a family with children. And witness with your own eyes how he interacts with the kids...and what is 'setting him off'.

Bottom line, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if something happened to your kids. If you see more questionable behavior, talk to your vet. Our dog has anxiety. We had the dog before we had kids and had him evaluated by a behaviorist. He actually takes a medication now to help him with the anxiety. And we never leave him alone with the kids.

Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

Supervision is the key word here. I would not let the children play around him without you right there. Just wait til one of them falls over him while he is sleeping, it will be more than a growl. What possessed you to add even more problems to your household. Poor animals, they are moved around from place to place like a piece of luggage. Do there feelings ever get considered? This should have all been thought out before adopting him. Hope he finds the right home, I feel sorry for him.

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E.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

If you are willing to take the time and energy to ensure that the dog is not alone with the kids, then I would give it more time. This change is very stressful for the dog. He probably still doesn't really understand this is his home now. Make sure that he has a place to go that the kids aren't allowed to go when he wants to be alone...maybe a kennel, maybe the laundry room. Make him a dog bed using old blankets or buy a bed for him to put in his place. If he has bonded with you, you can lay on the bed to give it your scent and he will want to lay there and he will enjoy being able to go somewhere to be alone. If he still doesn't seem to be adjusting, it would probably be best to find him another home.

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would say the key is that they never did have any kids. You have to remember that he has to get used to being around kids. I would not be worried if he has not snapped at the kids. It is like his saying hey you are in my territory or the fact that your child startled him. While I agree that the kids are the nunber one priortity you also need to remember that the dog needs to adjust. It will definantly be an adjustment for the rest of the family also. remember to be firm but fair with the dog and the children. I am sure everyone will be fine and get used to the adjustment.

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S.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi

I'm a mom of 3 young kids, I have 2 dogs and also volunteer for a dog rescue and foster rescue dogs. This dog needs time to adjust to a busy, new house and family. He is confused, lost, afraid. Goldens are typically pretty amiable dogs.

First thing: Do not leave the kids and dog alone. Period. You need to be able to supervise at all times. This is new for all of them. Use a gate, or even a dog crate if you have to when you can not be in the same room as dog and kids. Yes, this can be a pain, BUT it is the safest thing to do.

Second thing to consider: It will take the dog awhile to trust you and the kids. He doesn't know that this is his new home, he want's his old home and his old people. Dogs are really sensitive they need time to adjust. When the group I volunteer for places a dog it's actually written on our adoption contract to not leave the new dog alone with children or other pets for 30 days. They all need to get used to each other.

Work on basic obedience with him. This will help assert your position as leader of the pack. When he is having good interactions with the kids, praise him so he knows that is the behavior you expect.

If you are going to get him a new home try to find a golden retriever rescue in your area.

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B.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't think you need to get rid of him, just make sure you provide lots of supervision and make sure you discipline the dog. If your kid does something that makes the dog growl ALWAYS correct the dogs behavior first. Take your child out of the room to discipline him/her or speak in normal tones. Dogs are pack animals and need a leader and a heirarchy and you need to make sure the dog understands that the kids are above them in the heirarchy. When my daughter starts to be rough around my boxer, i always warn the dog with my words and tone to behave even though he hasn't done anything at all nor has he. I just do it to let him know the rules. This is new for the dog - new home, new people, new kids, it will take some time to adjust. Just make sure you teach the dog that you and the kids are the leaders/alphas and things will work out. That being said, your kids are still your #1 priority and if things don't get better or start to get worse, unfortunately the dog will have to go. But i'm sure it will improve.

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

It takes time for a pet to adjust to a new home, especially an older pet. This poor dog is confused and mourning for its family. It is adjusting to your family, especially, your little ones. You need to teach BOTH the little ones and the dog how to behave around each other. This can be done with patience and consistency.

My Aunt had a golden with a spot of chow...he was a great dog, but was leery of children because of the sudden movements and loud noises they made. He had never lived with children so was not used to them. As my child grew through toddler-hood, and we visited my Aunt regularly, we taught both the child and the dog how to act around each other. Occasionally the dog would growl at my child - it was his warning sign that my boy was becoming to rambunctious around him or had startled him. In time, with patience, they became great friends.

Does your dog like to play ball? or have any other favorite doggie games? If so, teach your little ones how to toss the ball for him to chase or otherwise engage him in his favorite play time. Play, for people and pets, is a good socialization tool.

Don't give up on him yet. He clingy because he is frightened. He can be taught to get used to your little ones. Sending him to a shelter pretty much guarantees his death - people don't adopt older dogs - check into the euthanization statistics at your shelter to get a good picture of what happens to unwanted pets in your area. Finding him another home with people will just make him more hurt and confused.

Please try to work with him, get a trainer, work with your children and the dog to ease the transition and integrate him into your family.

Good Luck and God Bless

J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am very anti new dogs in the household with kids under 6. We got a new puppy when my daughter J. turned 3 and it was only 9 weeks, she was a very mature 3 and in one split second she picked up the puppy it snapped, and bit her lip completely open, she needed stitches, and although shes not afraid of dogs (she tried to pet a rottweiler within hours of having her face ripped open) I am hesitant. We gave the puppy back to the pet store and are happier now. It only takes one second, and the dog could J. be trying to snap like I think the puppy was, and accidentally get skin...its not worth it! And kids under 6 no matter how mature tend to be a little rough or overly lovey with dogs...if the dog never lived with kids I would say its not worth it, its not worth the possible ER trip and injured child. I'm sure your friend will understand afterall she could have had the dog shipped if it was top priority...maybe offer to drive it out there and drop it off and stay and visit for a few days?

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E.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

Even the most trusted and known dog should NEVER be left alone with a toddler-and in this case, since you don't know the dog well yet, not with the 4 year old either. If your older kids listen to you and will careful around him, then they should be ok. Please invest in some baby gates so you can keep your new dog away and safe from the kids if you are not around or if you aren't paying attention to him or them. Dogs use their growl, teeth, bodies to express themselves, they don't have words. If your little child startles or scares this dog, he can't tell them, please stay away except by growling.
You could also, if you have the money, have the dog evaluated by an animal behaviorist.
It is your responsibility to keep your children AND your dog safe.
If you can do that, you should think about trying to find him another home but each time your dog gets bounced from one family to another, is heart-breaking, scary and unsettling to him and I think statistically his chance of a long, happy life-not sent to a shelter or to research or abandoned-diminishes with each new family.

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

hes an older dog. the stress of having that much energy in the home with all the kids on top of the stress of being left by his owners has him very anxious and nervous. what i would do is get a crate ( a large one) for him and put it in your room or a laundry room or room that the kids arent in much. also maybe even go the extra yard and have his previous owners send an old ratty shirt they have worn to bed a few times. the smell of them may calm him down a bit. also make sure he is getting enough exercise (walks, fetch etc) work his nose too. if its warm like it is here in ca. let him play in the water. good luck i hope this helps.

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J.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

J. M I would find a new home for him. I would make sure that the new home has older children or none at all. Mickey is 7 years old and he is not used to children, that could become a dangerous situation. Like you said you love your children very much and do not want to see anything bad happen. The dog growling at your children could put a fear into them against dogs and that is something else you do not want. So to protect both Mickey and the children do yourself a favor and find him a new home. I want to add that I have a Yellow Lab and a Checkered Boxer and they are both great with Kids but I had them since pups. I really believe if you want a dog try a puppy. Loads of work but they kinda grow up together and get used to each other. The crate idea is not a bad idea. This is my personal opinion. Good Luck J.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, J.:
I guess you couldn't say no to your friend.
WOW! You have alot of responsibility to care for your family without
the addition of a dog.

The dog is 7. 7X7 = 49

A 49 year old person who has never been around children probably wouldn't bite a child but he/she may snap at the child.

Write the couple and tell them that what happened and you can't afford to worry about an added responsibility. What would they suggest to do wih the dog?
See what they say.
Check around in the meantime an animal shelter.
Just a thought.
Good luck.
D.

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