A while ago, my husband knew what's going on with me but he didn't tell me more. I knew it because my son told me that my husband read all of my text I text to my son. It was about moving back to my home state. I didn't want to tell my husband about seperate or divorce til my son's school will be out for the summer in June. If I tell him now, then he would kick me out now or so. He and I have been talked about house due to first time buyer tax credit. I asked him to sign contract and loan by himself because I know I want to leave him for my reason. I wasn't happy being married to him. I am stay at home and have SS Disability Income. My husband didn't have 401k and additonal life insurance. I told him what if he dies, then the bank can go after me if I sign both contract and loan. My income would not cover enough. All was I conviced him to sign by himself, not me due no 401k and additional life insurace. So I don't want to responsible for house payment if I know I am about to leave him soon like in 2 months. I don't want him to know why I don't want to sign. So anyway, one week ago we argued about it then he found out what's going on with me. He said that I go back to my home state in June and I can have car. We were cold to each other for one week then last Sunday, we just kept cool and talked ok. But today, he asked me to save ad for house hunting and I asked him to sign by himself. He said that we BOTH have to sign because we are married. I had nothing more to say. I just said I can't because I have my reason. He was starting to tell I wanted to move back to my home state so he asked me if I wanted to stay here ot go back permamently. I said go back to my home state in June. He knew I wanted a divorce and I was crying. He told me that he kick me out now or as soon as possble. I told him I don't have a place to stay (I don't have any firends here) or live because my income won't cover for all groceries, utilities and apartment. I wanted to wait til my son school out in 2 months then. I just was wondering how affect my son's credit transfer to other state because our school has only 4 classes per semester and 28 credits requirement for this state and in my home state, 6 classes per semester and 22 credits requirments. My son already has 18 credits. He is worried because he don't want go for other one year if credits mixed up or short if transer during this semester. He is high school junior now. Oh, my husband changed his mind and doesn't let me keep car. He is on title and paid off. I wasn't on title due I had no income that time when car was bought. He said he will sell car and I told him he can sell me and I pay him from my savings which I save up. He refused what I asked. He already have truck. My son is not my husband's so we don't have any children together. What should I do?
You should have been honest with him from the beginning. Can he afford a new home without you? Even if he signs the home loan alone, some states will still hold you liable because you are married. I agree with Melissa. You need to stay there and get legal advice before leaving.
Looks like you may have been the one that started playing games. Why would you lead him on and let him buy a house knowing that you already had one foot out the door? You do have rights as far as your living arrangements and should look into that. You would also have to contact the school in which your son would be transferring to see how they would work out the credits. Sorry if I sound a little rough but if you have been wanting to leave him since July why look into tax credits?
You need to get some legal advice not mama advice. We can give you all the moral support in the world but you really need to get a lawyer. You might be able to stay at a women's shelter until school lets out so that your son can finish his semester. Good luck.
You need to seek legal advice prior to taking off and leaving. It will be in the best interest for you and your son. I know a fantastic lawyer who got me through a rough time with my ex this past year. If you would like her number just let me know.
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On disability
Want out of marriage
Staying for $$
Not being honest
High school son depending on stepdad too?
Dear K.,
I think you should let your son he might have to transfer unless you can find a trusted family he can stay with until June. You are in no position to support yourself, which has lead you to stay in a loveless marriage and become dishonest with your husband. Whatever assets you and your husband have accumulated together is generally split 50 – 50%, While your husband may be coming from hurt and anger, he can’t call ALL the shots and I don’t think he can toss you out on the street.
Go to your local legal aid with as much information as possible and see what they say. If your husband wants you gone and you haven’t been working, he may be required to pay some spousal support…(Deserved or undeserved under the laws of your state).
If you are as miserable as it sounds, I would get your business in order, pack your things and go home. I hope you and your son will be happier when you are with your family. Staying in a loveless marriage is not a good example for your boy.
Blessings…..
Get a lawyer.
Not knowing the laws for your state, or how long you were married, I have no idea how much you would be awarded in a divorce, but a lawyer WOULD. Call Legal Aide... they should be able to point you in the direction of a free one.
If you're in a community property state... it doesn't matter WHO is on the title, if it was bought during the marriage. What matters is that to the best degree possible, things are split 50/50.
Lawyer lawyer lawyer
Kelli
I would try to get some legal advise. do not let him bully you, You should be able to get some free counsel advise. Look in your phone book under attorneys and look for one that does not charge a consultation fee. You will need a family law attorney. He can not kick you out. You can also go and talk to someone at the social services office to see what they can help you with.
I don't understand why you haven't been up front with your husband. Does he not realize you don't like him? If you are unhappy you do not need to keep waiting and waiting until it is the perfect time. There will not be a perfect time. Waiting for your child to get out of school will not give you more income to leave on your own. Also, if your son is not your husband's, he will not have to pay child support unless he adopted him. How do you plan to take care of you and your son once you do leave? You need to call the high school in the area where you want to move to and ask them what your son would do if you moved now? Your husband can't kick you out now anyway. Call the cops on him. You both go see an attorney, get the ball rolling on the divorce, and then by the time you move out, it will be summer and your son will be out. Do you not have any family or friends you and your son can stay with until school is out? Your planning on leaving your husband, telling him you have a secret reason to not buy a home with him, but yet you have no money, nowhere to go, and no car?? You really need to re-think this and come up with a plan that is not based around your son's school year. You need to figure out where you are going to live, how you are going to have transportation to leave, and how you are going to eat. Then, you file for divorce. Your relationship doesn't sound very good anyway. Your son may be able to attend summer school where you are moving so he can continue on to senior year. Good luck
If you want to get a divorce there is usually a 90 waiting period between filing and finalization so perhaps you should contact an attorney and get the divorce proceedings started and that way you can be divorced by the time you are ready to move to your home state in the summer. Getting divorced while living in the same state as your soon to be ex is easier than doing it across state lines. However if your husband isn't open to you living together through a divorce then I guess that won't work. If your income is low then you could qualify for housing assistance, food stamps, etc. Contact your local social services office and see what they can do to help you and then contact legal aid.
K.,
If you are not willing to stay and get counseling to try to save your marriage, you are better off just taking your stuff and leaving. Although, it is my understanding that if a property is bought during marriage at the time of a divorce it has to be split in half even if you are not in the title. You might want to check with a lawyer to find out what your state's rules are concerning that. I know that you may not have the money to hire a lawyer but some do free consultations. If not, just take your stuff and your son and go. Unfortunately your son will probably lose the 18 credits he already has when he transfers to a different college. Not all colleges accept other school's credits. It's better now that it's only 18 credits, rather than later when it could be twice the amount of credits.
Maybe if you guys go to counseling, you can work things out. But if your mind is set in leaving him. Then, just go.
Best wishes.
I am sorry to hear about your problems. I can't help with all the issues but I do know that you do not have to sign for the house if you are married. I bought a house before I met my husband and recently we refinanced my husband has poor credit and was not able to be on the home loan. He actually had to sign something saying that he understood that he was not on the loan and he could not go after me for half if we divorced. So you do not have to sign. Good luck I hope you find happiness.
