My 52 year old aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 (terminal) lung cancer, yesterday. We do not know of a treatment plan to prolong her life yet, but I want to do things for her while she is in the hospital to make her feel comfortable. For those of you who have faced this or know of someone who has been through this, what ways can I help her feel safe?
I know she is scared and I just want bring her some kind of peace and normalcy.
Prayers are always welcome.
Can't help you with the hospital part but my dad died of lung cancer. The last 3 months of his life he lived with us. I think a huge part of their fear has to do with how they will be taken care of. When my dad knew he was safe with us, that we'd get hospice when he was ready, he was able to be at peace. I'm really sorry. Tough time....
Hi M.,
Try to spend as much time with her as you can. Sit with her and hold her hand. My 38 yr old cousin has been in the ICU for 7 months with pulmonary fibrosis. She spends a lot of her days alone for the most part. Her husband and most of her immediate family work so nobody is available to sit with her much during the day. I think companionship is what she wishes for the most. I live over six hours away so I can't visit her often. I sure wish I could.
I would make her as comfortable as possible. Favorite movie? Music? How long is she going to be there? Are they doing a biopsy or something? My mom has stage 4 breast cancer for the past 2 years. She got a mastectomy, but not before it spread to her lungs and bones. She gets short of breath and gets cold easily. I got her a snuggie and go for short walks with her whenever she wants. I moved back in with her to keep the house clean, she wasn't great at it before but it got to virtually nothing after that, so I help out here (driving across town from the apt wasn't working). If she gets nauseous tell her to try and eat dark chocolate, it helped my mom and one of my former classmates who had cancer when they get nauseous in the mornings.
Are you near enough and flexible enough to go to a few of her chemo or herceptin? Not sure what they plan and you said you aren't either, but from being with my mom it is a long and boring treatment lol. She may need some company.
A lot of times just be there and be a shoulder to cry on. It is a scary thing to go through I'm sure. She will be in my prayers.
Oh, I am so sorry. Many prayers for your family.
Be her company. Do not flee when it gets tough. Reassure her that you will be there.
When it does get so bad she cannot get out of bed, play her favorite music and read to her. Even children's stories and old classics.
Do you have old family movies, put some together. So she can see her grandnieces and nephews and any grandkids playing and enjoying themselves.
When you leave let her know when you will return, even if you will be gone for Mon through Fri. promise your return and then be sure to go.
I will pray for her.
What is her first name?
I would like to say to the Lord, " Lord Please touch and heal ______ from cancer "
May the Good Lord Bless and Heal her right now.
Just always let her know she is in your thoughts and prayers. Visit and/or call when you can. Make sure she knows she is not going through this alone.
M.,
I am so sorry. My mother had this diagnosis over two years ago.
I didn't know about it then, but there is Mary Crowley Cancer Center in Dallas that might be able to help. http://www.marycrowley.org/
Good luck and God bless.
This is a small thing, but whenever my mom is in the hospital (she has metastatic melanoma) she complains that it is so cold. A shawl, little jacket or sweater can go a long way. It is something to keep you warm and cozy while you sit up in the hospital bed. Also, any pictures of family or whatever makes her happy can help. Oh, and sometimes the hospital food isn't so great. If she has an appetite and isn't on a restricted diet, maybe a favorite treat from outside the hospital would be nice. We always brought my mom chocolate shakes.
As for fear, I would advise just let her talk about it as much or as little as she wants. You can just ask her if she wants to talk about it, and respect her answer if she says no. Each day will be different; allow her the space to be up and down, confused and scared, strong and loving. Just knowing that you are there, and are willing and strong enough to listen to whatever she is feeling in the moment must be such a comfort to her.
So sorry. Wishing your family the best through this trying time.
-M.
How about visiting her at home one day and suprise her by doing laundry and folding.or change the linens on the bed or vacuum. Tell her you are going to help her that day but be sure to ask her what she would like done. I remember when I was under treatment, I just couldn't get around to doing chores.
my father went from being OK to being sick with stage 4 cancer..your best bet is to be there for her...do whatever she wants..if she wants to sit and talk..please do it..my prayers are with you and your family
I crochet hats for people with cancer. They usually get cold during this process. If you PM me with your address I can send it out on Monday. Or Tuesday, whenever you send it to me. Also, What is her favorite color?
I'll be praying for her, you and your family.
