Baby Not Adjusting to Nanny

You might try a different nanny, but the truth is some babies are just like that.(thankfully I have never worked with any in my nanny days, but now that I have friends with kids I see some).Have you tried letting the nanny take baby for a walk???Maybe it will get her distracted.Some people are just better with certain age groups though. So your nanny might not just be the right fit.

I started using a part time nanny when my second son was 6 months old, and I have used 3 so far. My most current nanny is the least experienced with children- but I really like her and trust her- and I found that it worked better when I had given her a month of "shadowing" me at a reduced pay rate that she was better able to understand my children's needs. I also made sure I was clear on how I would handle typcial problems and expressed this to her.

We also notice the little one does much better when I am not in the house. If he knows I am available, he will whine for me. When I am not present he is content with her.

Also- make sure you give her a "rhythm" to follow. Babies are trying to adjust to their surroundings and moms usually have some routine and general tasks they incorporate the baby into. Since it is not your nanny's house, she may not have a framework or routine to bring the baby into and rather just lets the baby's needs direct all her activity. This is unsettling to babies and small children. We have had to structure our nanny time or the kids get out of sorts and get into trouble. Babies are sponges; they are taking in everything and she may even be picking up on your nanny's emotions. How is the nanny feeling about all of this?

Dear R.,

Start looking for a new nanny. I own a childcare center and I love when babies start young with us because there really is no seperation anxiety to deal with. As long as they are being held, loved, and fed the usually adjust very well to their new surroundings. If your baby is not adjusting to her there must be a reason for it. Go with your baby is trying to tell you and find someone new. One suggestion, before you hire anyone pay them to come for a few trial days and see how it goes. I do that with every child that comes to my center, I have the mom leave them for an hour for a few days before they start so they are familiar with us and we can become familiar with them. When they are ready to start daycare there are very few tears it usually is a nice easy transition. Babies and children are sometimes the best judge of character. As an owner of a daycare when I am giving a tour to a parent the children in the classroom always run to me for a hug, or just want to greet me with a story. Parents always comment on how much the children must feel the love from me and that is usually why they choose my center. When you give off good vibes children will respond. It isn't always important that the nanny impress you it is most important as to how your baby responds to her. I am sure you will find the right one just keep looking and your baby will do fine. Have you considered checking out a childcare center. You can research and make sure they have good standings with the licensing board. The reason why I suggest this is I am wondering if your baby senses that you are near and maybe that is an issue on her adjusting to someone else in the house. Good luck!!

Do you think it is the wrong nanny for her? You might have thought this nanny was the right one, your baby has other plans. I would love to test to see if your daughter just wants you or if she just does not like the nanny.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's hard enough leaving your child with someone, and even harder if you know you're child is miserable.

Perhaps try a new nanny? Maybe there is something your daughter doesn't like about her. We went through 4 babysitters before we found one that I liked (and trusted) and that my son liked. But I found a few things to be true...he likes soft spoken over loud or even normal voice tones, attractive over unattractive, and will not tolerate anyone who uses perfume. And actually, this was all his prefenerce as we had a woman with us whom I liked, but my son didn't.

Also, can you allow for more of a period of adjustment? Maybe pay your nanny overtime to tag along with you on errands, stay for dinner, etc. for a few weeks so your daughter comes to see her as part of the family so to speak? It's hard for little guys to be away from mommy and probably scary to be left with a stranger.

My nanny is more of an extra set of hands for me as I'm a SAHM so more often than not all three of us are out together doing things and if I have to leave him alone with her, for say a doctor appointment or something he can't come to, he has no peoblem staying with her. I think he just things she's part of life.

Godo luck!