Afraid to Use Public Bathrooms

Updated on February 20, 2008
A.A. asks from Ionia, MI
21 answers

My two year old is coming along great with her potty training. At home she will ask to go potty often. She can get on the toliet all by herself and uses one of those inserts on the seat. When we are in public she will still ask to go potty often, but once I try to help her sit on the toliet she refuses to sit. It's like she is scared of the seat. She will go into the bathroom and into the stall but not on the seat. Any suggestions on how I can help her get over her fear?

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A.L.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Have "magic spray" it's Lysol in a small can, spray the seat, then wait, count to 5. wella, now it's ok to use the seat! she'll really feel special too.

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M.B.

answers from Detroit on

I use to carry around one of those seats that fold up really small. I would put that on the seat and that seemed to help my child. As far as getting over a fear has she ever seen you go to the bathroom in a public restroom? Maybe that would help. Have you thought about carrying around lysol wipes? I used to do that as well. Good Luck.

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter did the same thing, turned out she was afraid of falling in. I sat her side ways, and showed her she could hold onto the railing (in the large stall). Or would put my hand on her back, promising not to let her fall in. We also talked about how loud the toilet flushes, giving her time to cover her ears.
Good luck, and they all use it some time.
:) A.

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M.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Maybe she is afraid of the split in the middle of the toliet seat. Some children are afraid. They may get the feeling they will fall in. Plus it is so much bigger than they are used to.

I have a 3 year old and she won't poop on the potty yet. She insists going in her underwear. I have been told not to say anything to her and she will eventually go. I just can't wait. Hopefully it happens soon!!!

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

WHen your at home help her sit on the toilet without the insert, when she gets scared just let her know that your there and you won't let her fall and then she will get used to it. My son did the same thing and all I had to do was help him sit on the big potty and he wasn't scared anymore when he figured out how to hold on.

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D.K.

answers from Huntington on

Hi my name is D.,

For my my daughter we had a folding Dora seat. You can get them anywhere they sell baby stuff. It folds in up and you can store it in a ziploc bag.

I hope this helps.

D.

Stay at home mom of two with a few dsycare kids on the side.

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B.R.

answers from Kalamazoo on

you can get portable toilet inserts for on the go potty training. they fold up and go in the diaper bag. babies r' us carries them, possibly target.

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A.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Try putting her on backwards... she will have more to hold on to and will have more sense of stability, less fear of 'falling in'. I do this with my son when he can't stand up and it works great.

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

hi there! i went thru the same thing! what i did was bought one of those portable potty seats (they fold up-the one i got came in a plastic zip case, so i kept that to put the seat back in after she used it, so no bathroom germs got on everything else!!). we bought the spongebob one cause the dora one was out at the time, but all in all, it worked like a charm!!! hope this helps :o)

J.

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J.P.

answers from Detroit on

My son was afraid of public toilets. They are much bigger than ours at home and he thought he would fall in. I let him sit sideways and that seemed to comfort his fear.

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H.B.

answers from Detroit on

Good for you on doing so well at potty training. Public bathrooms can be a nightmare. My nephew got wet from one of those electronic flushers and took major steps backwards in teh whole potty training business. Never mind that most of them are germ infested and dirty. I had boys and what we did is we had a small potty in our van and if they had to go in public, we would use the potty in our van. We knew it was clean and they were comfortable in it. Also had hand sanitizer back there. Good Luck

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

Congrats on a normal 2 year old! We had a big fear of the automatic flusher (still so at almost 4!) Some things I tried were letting her look at a bunch of stalls and picking the one she wanted. I couldn't see the difference! We also always cover the sensor on the automatic flusher. We also carried a folding potty seat to make the seat more comfortable. We also bought a travel potty (One Step Ahead) for the car when I wanted to just avoid the whole public restroom thing. Good luck , just know that this too will pass - and that I've heard from many friend similar stories.
K.

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J.T.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Angela,
I have a couple of ideas that may be making her afraid of public bathrooms.

One is that, very often, the toilet seat in a public place is one of those oval ones with the opening in the front. This might be causing her to be afraid of falling into the water.

Another thing, you say you help her when in a public bathroom but that she gets on the toilet seat by herself when at home. She may be balking at your helping her when she wants to do it herself.

Do you line the toilet seat with paper before you put her on it? (as well you should). Maybe she doesn't like to have the paper on the seat.

Maybe she is afraid of being in a confined stall.
At home she has a lot more space.

Another thing is, if the toilet in the public restroom is one of those that automatically flushes, this might also scare her. As you know, they can be very loud and sudden.

It is hard to determine what these little ones are thinking and what scares them. Good luck in finding a solution.

Grandma of 9

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D.S.

answers from Saginaw on

my dughter has this same problem. well, ever since the 'big' potty flushed by itself, when she was sitting on it. scared the heck out of her. and now, i am finding, with enough encouragement, and me holding her dearly to my chest, she will go a little bit and say she's done. i give mass amounts of praise, even though she didn't go as much as she had to, she is still facing her fear.

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

I had this problem! I came to find out that it wasn't the sitting on the public potty, but the automatic flusher was unpredictable and too loud for my girls. I have a spare glove which lost it's match, so we slide that over the senser on the back of the toilet seat and they know that it won't flush until they're done!

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B.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

You can pick up a folding seat at meijer or Target for 8.99. they fold up to fit in a diaper bag.
I used to set my DD backwards too.

IMO, automatic flushers suck, and every bathroom should have a step stool for kids! COME ON CHUCKY CHEESE!!!!

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Z.B.

answers from Saginaw on

My daughter had the same problem for a long time. One thing that helped was getting a portable seat. It folds up and has its own ziploc bag to put in a diaper bag/back pack. I found mine at Target. Another issue we had was with the automatic flushing toilets. The noise and commotion of it scared my daughter. So for quite a while when we were in a restroom with these kind of toilets I would have to stand directly in front of the toilet while she was going potty, to be sure the toilet didn't flush while she was sitting on it. Hope this helps.

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H.B.

answers from Detroit on

Have her sit on the seat backwards (facing the back of the toilet). Show her how funny it looks...she may get a kick out of how silly it is to sit on the toilet backwards and be all for it?!! Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Detroit on

Hi,

I just potty trained my daughter and had the same problem. I was even taking her little potty in the car for a few. But I found the folding potty seat and it has worked great. Ours has Elmo on it and she loves it. I can say it has been a life saver!! Its small and just fits on the front of the toilet and the thing I love is you know its clean! The toilet paper and paper covers just dont work that great. Anyway I found it at BRU!!

D.

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C.K.

answers from Detroit on

I can help with one solution for your potty problems. You could try going to www.onestepahead.com and they have portable potty seats. They are able to be folded up and put into your diaper bag or purse. This will help your daughter from feeling that she will "fall in".

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B.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi, My first question, are you bringing the seat insert with you to public bathrooms? Those public toilets are tall and wide. I'm an Early Childhood Education Specialist, but the lesson learned here came from being a Mom to 4 amazing kids. One of whom was terrified of public potties, the other three thought they were the greatest playgrounds ever! My daughter told me while I was losing the battle to have her sit that the seat was broken in front and she'd fall in. Public toilets have the space in front on the seat, our home potties don't have that. Ask your daughter about that space. Let her provide answers to non-leading questions: I wonder why that hole is there?, as opposed to: Are you afraid of falling in? The latter can CREATE a new fear that may not have existed in the first place. Good luck and just keep loving. Brin

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