9 Month Old Not Sleeping - Boulder,CO

Updated on November 14, 2008
D.P. asks from Boulder, CO
9 answers

I have a 9 month old girl and I can't get her to sleep on her own. She either falls asleep nursing or I have to rock her or lay her on my chest. What happens is she will wake up and can't fall back to sleep so the process starts all over. I'm exhausted and very grumpy. It is so hard for me to let her "cry it out". Any suggestions? Thanks!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for your advice. Things are getting better, and my daughter is now back on track. I still nurse her and hold her to help her fall asleep but it seems less painful. I really appreciate all of your comments.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You might like the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solutio" by Elizabeth Pantley. "NIghttime Parenting" by Dr. William Sears is also useful. You could borow either of these books for free from your local La Leche League group (find yours at www.llli.org) and the ladies at a LLL meeting can undoubtedly give you some gentle ideas besdes "cry it out." I highly recommend contacting La Leche League--all services are free and people are nice.
Can you nurse laying down next to her so you can doze, too, and then move her later if you need to? My first two babies were like yours and I finally decided me getting enough sleep so I didn't feel mad all the time was more important than anyone's perception of what was "proper" sleep etiquette. . . they sleep in their own beds now, so I can assure you that this is a season and it will pass... Hang in there!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

We just did the "cry it out" with my 6 month old baby boy. It was very hard and the first night he cried for one hour, the second night was a little longer, the thrid night was about twenty minutes and last night I put him in his crib and he went right to sleep without crying at all and he slept from about 9:30pm to 5am and at 5 I just feed him and he went back to sleep! I don't just let him cry for an hour without checking on him I go in give him his binkey and even picked him up a couple of times to calm him down. This method worked for us with both of our kids even though it is a little hard it is well worth it they need to learn how to go to sleep on their own.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Just another vote for reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She's been in your situation and offers a multitude of options for you and baby to get better sleep!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Denver on

Always lay her down awake, you may have a few rough nights but holding her until she falls asleep, nursing her is going to be a habit for her that just gets harder to break.
Feed her, change her then lay her down and walk out of the room, seriously. It is not mean at all, teaching good sleep habits will save you and it is a positive for her.

I never let my babies cry it out until after the 6 mos mark, Then after six mos I would let my kids fuss for a minute and see if they could calm themselves down. After the 6 mark you can set yourself up for bad habits taking shape.

You could have become a human pacifier for her too. Could it be she is teething?
It may be hard to let her cry, but what do you think will happen if you continue doing what you are doing? My biggest advice for newer moms is you have to decide what you need an outcome to be and then be willing to do the work. If you want her to fall asleep on her own and sleep better, then you will have to let her cry.

Make sure she isn't teething because nursing soothes her gums which may be why she wants to do it, it is a huge culprit in causing waking at night. Try teething tablets or motrin before bed. Teething tablets don't last long so motrin worked best for us at night. Good luck. Just decide what you need to happen and remember it will it just takes some patience and being consistent.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.N.

answers from Denver on

Hi D.--I have a 9-mo-old girl, too, and am also tired!
My problem is limited to night-time wakings that require my brief attention (because I've always given it), but this weekend we are going to go cold turkey. The Ferber method (check and soothe briefly at 5 minutes, then 10, then 15, etc.) is the other good option for you, in my opinion, but really, it takes longer and is harder on you, because every time you go in you'll want to pick her up, and every time you go out you'll watch the clock desperately until it is time to go in again!
It will be hard, but maybe you just need to let her cry and figure it out. Think of it this way--right now she is tired and grumpy, too, and just can't sleep (which is so important for her growth and development). You need to teach her to sleep, and letting her cry until she does might be an integral part of the teaching process. It is not going to hurt her at all, and you can remind yourself over and over that your job is to do what's best for her, even if it means crying right now. My favorite sleep book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weisbluth and he basically says all of this with more detail.
So tonight, when my little one is screaming at 2:00 am, I'll be lying there, tortured, hoping that you are doing the same thing, because really, once we get past two or three loud nights, we're all going to be sleeping at 2:00 am and happy in the morning!
Good luck. :)
PS With my son we did this a little earlier, and it took 2 nights. He still sleeps like a champ!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I suggest reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It has some great suggestions and gives different options depending on what you are comfortable with. This book helped me to train all four of my kids and people are amazed at how well they went to sleep. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.H.

answers from Denver on

I agree...totally normal. We had this problem, too.

I went ahead and nursed my son to sleep until he was about 1 year. Then, I couldn't take it anymore. I finally read "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by the "Sleep Lady" (Kim West). It was the happy medium I needed to help get my munchkin to sleep through the night and not wake up for nursing. Essentially, my husband had to take over the night time routine, so our son would not think that he needed to nurse to get to sleep. It worked and he sleeps through the night...he's 18 months now.

Good Luck...hang in there and this hard time will be over before you know it and then you'll miss it. Wierd how that works.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.E.

answers from Provo on

what worked for us was for my husband to go into our baby's room if he woke after i fed him. my husband would pat the baby's bottom and back until he fell asleep again. when my husband was working until 2:00 in the morning, i would turn on a musical crib toy to get the baby back to sleep if he woke before my husband came home. this way we both got some decent sleep at some point in the night.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from Boise on

You have a very normal baby, and I highly recommend the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution." Also, I support and commend you in not wanting to let your baby CIO. Hang in there-- it will get better. :)

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches