4 Year Old Not Swallowing Food

Do you think your son is not chewing/eating certain foods because he'd rather get things like Cheetos? If that's the case - stop offering treats. Simply provide healthy food and that's it. If he's hungry, he'll eat.

But... if you think he might be having a problem with certain textures, then talk to your pediatrician about getting a referral to a speech pathologist/feeding therapist. At first I thought this was what your post was about - that your son is having problems chewing certain foods. A therapist can do wonders for a kid with this problem. She will make eating fun, play games with food, show him how to properly chew and swallow. You'd be amazed at how many kids refuse certain foods and textures because their tongues get in the way or they swallow funny. Getting him help now will eliminate years of frustration for you both.

But... if what you're talking about is that your son is becoming a picky eater and would prefer junk to real food, that's something you can solve on your own. Don't give him Cheetos, candy, cookies, or whatever it is he wants more. Above all - stop fighting the battle. He is able to control what he eats. It's just about one of the only things he *can* control at this age. If you make eating a struggle, you will lose. Remember that your job is to provide the food, his is to eat it. If he doesn't do his job, that's on him. Not you.

Try not to make it a war. Give him his dinner and when everyone else is finished, dinner is over and his food gets put away. No snacks! If its close to bedtime, maybe a cup of milk because it's a long time to breakfast.

Don't get mad or punish him. Just be matter of fact - this is dinner and if you don't eat, dinner will be over and no more food for you. Just be consistent.

I don't want to make you feel worse, but I wouldn't punish him for it. I have the same problem on occasion with different foods at different times. Don't really know what it is - I chew and chew and chew but for whatever reason I cannot make myself swallow the food! I'm talking meat, spaghetti, rice, same things you're talking about. Sometimes, especially with meat, I'll chew it, know that it's chewed enough to swallow, but for whatever reason just can't get it down. Sometimes trying to swallow it with a gulp of liquid, like you would do a pill, works, but sometimes not! Sometimes spaghetti just seems too stringy. I don't know what it is. I've often wondered if I didn't have some sort of on the verge of an eating disorder. I don't know but I don't think he's doing it to be defiant; he just really doesn't feel like he can swallow the food!

He's testing the texture of the different foods in his mouth, and he's figuring out what foods he actually likes and dislikes. This seems to be his process. He screams and cries when you punish him because he doesn't understand why you're punishing him or why it bothers you so much.

Food shouldn't be a battle. It shouldn't turn into control issues. I don't think that you handled the situation appropriately, frankly. Once he's eaten what he's going to eat and it seems he's playing with the food then the meal is removed without a word, without punishment, and the meal is simply over. If he's hungry later then he can have a healthy snack. He should be allowed healthy snacks throughout the day anyway.

EDIT: I also agree that he might be showing signs of sensory issues/tactile issues with the oral fixation of food in his mouth.

Unless he is suffering from malnutrition I would look the other way. Maybe I am misunderstanding? Is he chewing then spitting out the food? Or does he just chew for a really really long time? Maybe stop making it such a big deal and it will stop being such a big deal. He is obviously getting a lot of attention from you by doing this. Give him his meal, what he eats, he eats, who cares how long he chews? If you don't want him to eat the cheetos first then don't give him the cheetos! Sounds like it is a game for him and you are full on playing without realizing it. Oh, and all kids go through food fazes so just roll with it and make sure you offer all the food groups and stop obsessing over how he is eating it.

You provide healthy food choices for him (no cheetos, junk food, etc) and he decides to eat it or not.
No child ever starved to death from missing a meal every once in awhile.
If he doesn't want to eat at meal time, fine - the next meal will come along sooner or later.
At 3, my son was having difficulty with swallowing due to huge enormous tonsils.
They almost closed off the back of his throat - and they were not infected (no fever or colds).
They almost became an obstruction.
Once his tonsils were out, he had no trouble eating/swallowing.
Have the doctor check your son out to make sure there's not a problem.
Does he have a sensory issue (certain tastes/textures bother him)?

I really wonder if some of it isn't oral sensory issues? He may actually be having trouble chewing and swallowing certain foods because of texture issues. If so, I would really look at getting him evaluated.... a therapist can do wonders for stuff like that! My grandson has sensory issues, and it is amazing the strides he has made in 6 months of therapy.

I would also get RID of the junk foods... the cheetos, etc.... if they aren't available, you won't be tempted to give it to him.

As far as meals, fix him a meal... give him a set amount of time, then take it away. No arguing, no yelling, just give him a time limit. If he doesn't eat, he has to wait until the next meal. A few times of this will help stop that. He won't go completely hungry....

I also didn't give them a sandwich because I knew they wouldn't eat what I fixed... I fixed a meal, and that was what everyone ate.

My kids quickly realized that if they didn't eat what was offered, they had to wait until the next meal. They didn't have the option of getting a bowl of cereal or a sandwich instead of the meal I prepared. I didn't make them eat certain things, though, like sauerkraut... but oddly enough, all my kids LOVE it! They were all real good veggie eaters, also.

I wouldn't suggest fixing all of his "hated" foods at once, though... do fix something he will like (other than junk items), so mealtime isn't a complete loss.

Also... have you had him at the dentist lately? Maybe there is an issue with his teeth that he isn't able to express to you.