4 Year Old-Picky Eater

Updated on June 06, 2013
M.L. asks from Erie, PA
9 answers

Hi mamas! My youngest son will be 4 on Sunday. I don't remember my older child being such a picky eater so I haven't had to deal with this before. He will only eat about 4 main meal type things. Rav's, chicken nuggets, spaghetti, mac & cheese. I usually make him try what the rest of us are eating, but it ends up being a screaming fit from him and restaurant ala-cart kitchen for me every night it seems. I would rather have him eat something than nothing at all for dinner so i usually make him something else. Which means I'm in the kitchen untl like 7 every night. No fun for me. I don't know if it's good or bad to keep doing that, all I know is that he throws a fit if I try to make him try someting he doesn't want. How can I start introducing new things to him and get him to try new things? He will eat some fruit (bananas, oranges, peaches, etc) but pretty much no veggies except for tomatoes in spaghetti sauce. I tried mixing some pureed veggies in with his mac & cheese one time (same color and everything! lol) and he said that his mac & cheese tasted bad haha. Any ideas are welcome. I'm willing to try anything at this point. Thanks in advance!

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My third is a picky eater. Just keep working on it. I was kind of a strange eater when I was a kid as well. As an adult I will try everything and love new foods. I guess I am saying it will work out.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I never did dinner time battles. If one of my kids (or husband) didn't like what I made they were welcome to make themselves and sandwich, a healthy bowl of cereal, or grab a piece of fruit, some rice cakes/crackers, cheese stick, etc. These are all things a four year old can do for himself.
There was also usually the option of having reheated leftovers from the night before.
And honestly if he refuses to eat, so be it. He's not going to starve.
Don't fight about it and DON'T get into the habit of being a short order cook. You're mom not a personal chef!

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

Only keep in the house the foods you want him to have.

Provide him his plate, and when he throws a fit, ignore it. If he chooses not to eat that meal, remind him the next meal is .. breakfast. Do not allow a snack unless it is his left over plate. Don;t force him to eat, but do encourage him to try things.

Good luck

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Mamazita is right on. Don't cave to his pickiness, he's made this a game with you and he's won. Offer ravioli, nuggets, spaghetti, Mac and cheese, etc., once a week or every two weeks only, and make them from scratch using whole foods and grains, cut the salt by half. He doesn't like the menu he can serve something else and eat with the rest of you, while you sit.

Mix the pureed veggies in spaghetti sauce and meat loaf. Put some in his Mac and cheese again, if he doesn't like it say, "It tastes fine to us," and leave him be. Make soups and salads. Oh, and cut out all junk food if you have it around, make healthy snacks, he'll be hungrier at meal times if he's not filling up on junk. Fruit popsicles you make by blending your own and freezing, and smoothies are great ways to sneak in some veggies (kale comes to mind), also give him the fruit/veggie blend juices. Teach him to "eat the rainbow."

My daughter ate like a bird from the time she was 18 months, was skinny, but her ped said she wouldn't starve, her body would tell her when to eat, even if it was 2 teaspoons of food a day, so he said make the best of it by offering only healthy foods. She stayed picky until she was about 18 years old, then never stopped eating, but ate healthy!

Here's some good, healthy snack ideas that can also be turned into meals, my guy sometimes has veggies with homemade dip, a boiled egg, whole wheat crackers or toast and cheese for a meal:
http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2012/03/45-real-food-snack...

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L.M.

answers from Dayton on

I have the same problem with my 5 year old son and 7 year old daughter. When my son was little like 9 months he ate anything and everything he could get his hands on and then one day it was like a switched flipped and he didn't eat anything except chicken noodle soup, chicken nuggets, and plain noodles. Since he will be in Kindergarten next year I have sat and talked to him about trying new foods. He has slowly started to try new things he doesn't care for them but will still try them. When I make dinner I put everything on their plates if they don't try at least one bite of something new they don't get any kind of snack or anything. Our doctor just says to keep trying to offer it to them. good luck

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F.B.

answers from New York on

We just had this discussion with our ped for our 2.5 y.o.

The rules as per our dr are-
DS gets 2 or 3 things from the family meal on his plate. He can choose to eat them, or choose to throw them, scream his ead off, mush them etc, but he is to remain seated for the duration of the meal, and we are not to comment on his behavior except to praise him if he eats.
If he finishes any one thing, he can't have more of it until he at least tries the rejected foods, at which point he can have a second helping of that which he did eat.
If after the meal is done, he indicates he is hungry, he can have another chance at the same 2 or 3 items. No substitutions.

same deal for each successive meal.
watch for liquid calories.
no "snacks" as each meal might be two seatings.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Mix the pureed veggies in the spaghetti sauce.... the other spices will hide the flavor....

If you can, change to a more whole-grain pasta.......

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

My 4 year old is the same way! Dinner was becoming a battle every night and no fun for any of us. We make food that we know he likes but incorporate new foods, and encourage him to try them.

He basically gets what we are having for dinner (with appropriate alterations) ...we don't try to entice him to eat, but we praise him when he is making a good effort. We also give lots of praise when he tries something new. He doesn't have to clean his plate, but he doesn't get an after dinner treat unless he's made a good effort (and after dinner treats are not every night.)

We also (when needed) give a reasonable time limit...if he's procrastinating or not eating after we have finished. As long as he's making an effort...we let him keep going.

Some days are good and some days are more of a challenge, but it has generally worked for us.

Good luck! :)

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Why do you have to fight about it? I have a picky eater and an I'll eat anything that is on my plate eater.

I think that the foods he likes are fine. He's 4. He will try new foods someday, right now he's not going to.

I was at lunch one day with the kids and got into a disagreement with the girl and ended up putting a piece of something on her lips then arguing with her until she tasted it. She puked all over the table. What fun for me and everyone else there.

Because I chose to be a bully to her with her using her words and saying no thank you I made her puke in public and feel humiliated.

I finally realized I was being a great big B***h towards her. There is not need for that for any reason.

I decided that I was going to change my way of thinking. I don't even tell her to try anything. I put a little tiny bit of everything on her plate and she just doesn't eat that part.

I can also tell you that they won't eat it if you put it in front of them and make them sit there until they eat it. They'll sit there screaming and crying until they fall asleep then go to bed without eating. Then they'll get up hungry. If they still have to eat that same food they'll still go hungry and scream and cry and fall asleep when they're worn out. By this time they'll be getting sick from hunger and from the screaming and crying.

It's not worth it. Seriously. You need to change your way of thinking.

Why not just plan to make one item he likes at each meal. If you're having hot dogs make 1 box of mac and cheese to go along with it. Or make a box of mac and cheese and separate it into different storage containers then freeze it. You can warm it up in the microwave and give him a personal serving.

I fix stuff the kids like for dinner every meal. SO when hubby and I go out I get to eat grown up food. I really enjoy it.

I make spaghetti hamburger helper, tuna helper, hot dogs with mac and cheese, and all sorts of things. It's not that hard. You can eat a healthy well balanced meal and enjoyable for everyone. It doesn't have to be a battle each evening. You just have to adjust what you're doing at the table and when you're cooking. You do not have to make 2 separate meals.

As time has gone by my girl voluntarily tries foods. She may say no and I respect that but she tries a bite on her own quite often now. Since I took the pressure off and she got comfortable she is much more relaxed at meal time and we often smile at each other and laugh at the table. It can be different, you just have to decide what's more important, getting your way or letting your child have some independence.

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