4-Year Old Scared of the Dark

Updated on August 29, 2008
R.S. asks from Coolidge, AZ
17 answers

My daughter recently watched a scary movie at the babysitters with a cousin and her brother. After the movie, her cousin and my son proceeded to scare her and tell her the things in the movie were going to get her, so now she can't go to sleep on her own anymore. This has been going on for about 3 weeks and I don't know what else to do. We've talked with my son and her cousin about scaring her and they have both apologized and I've been staying next to her bed until she falls asleep, but it's getting very old, very fast and I don't want this to become the only way she can fall asleep. Does anyone have ANY suggestions on how I can get her to fall asleep on her own without me or my hubby having to lay next to her? Thank you!

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So What Happened?

First of all I want to thank you to everyone for all of your GREAT suggestions! :) I went out and bought all of the supplies for the "monster spray" and my son and her cousin both helped to spray her room once the "potion" was made. We also allowed our dog to sleep in her room to "protect her", and that really seemed to calm her down also. So now everynight we spray her room with "monster spray" and we've put the dogs bed next to hers and she sleeps with her every night! Now my husband and I can rest peacefully at night knowing that we don't have to battle with our daughter to sleep by herself! Thanks again!! :)

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J.B.

answers from Phoenix on

My son started that at 4 too. He leaves the light on in the closet because that's where the Monsters are (thank you Monsters Inc.). He never complains as long as the light is on. If we are in a hotel or something, no light is necessary because Mom and Dad are there to protect him. We tried the flashlight idea, but he had a tendency to lose it in the covers and would wake me up to help him find it, this is just much easier.

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A.V.

answers from Phoenix on

I have to chuckle at the things kids do ;) Makes our lives so much more interesting yes? :)

She's only 4, you realize that. It's a good thing you are staying with her until she falls asleep...you went with your maternal instinct. What else is your mamma voice telling you to do for her? I know it gets old and feels like an eternity when you have to sit there...but it will pass soon enough. In the meantime, let her help you get rid of the scaries, creeepies, and monsters lurking around. Moms and dads are magical and with a spray bottle filled with magic monster remover, maybe some fairy dust, a special stuffed animal for comfort, the hero or heroine parent with super human powers can make all those scary things go away! She'll remember the extra effort mom and dad made to help her feel safe and brave:)
Another thing I do with my kids when they feel scared, is to help them think of all the things that make them happy. Then if they start thinking of sad or scary things...just think of the happy things. It usually worked well.
There is a cute little book called, THERE'S A MONSTER IN MY CLOSET. Shows how monster was the scared in the end and how the boy made him feel better. Kids like it alot.

Good luck on the monster chasing!

A.
mom of 4, Birth and Parenting Mentor
www.birthingfromwithin.com

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K.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My 4 yr old is afraid of the dark as well. We bought him a tyke light from Babies R Us. It has batteries during the night and glows green (or whatever color you get) and can be plugged in during the day to charge. Love it!!!!

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C.D.

answers from Phoenix on

My daughter has been afraid of monsters on and off for a couple years now. Here are some things we have done to get her and keep her asleep.
A cd player/radio with soothing music.
We gave her a squirt gun to "shoot" the monsters. and a squirt bottle. Empty works just as fine too (they shoot air then).
Assured her that angels were guarding her room, and went as far as printing some off, having her color them, and puting them up in her room.
Wrist bands like the tennis players use. We made a BIG deal about them in the store and bought them for her. She puts them on every night before bed.
The key to having your child believe whatever you do is make a BIG deal out of it and make it earnest. They won't believe the squirt bottle will work if you are laughing at it.

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M.W.

answers from Tucson on

Since son and cousin started this I would suggest they be apart of the solution. I read some of the other responses and I think the monster spray sounds like fun. Maybe have son and cousin make a big deal about going into her room and spraying it down. Then they could say that its "all clear" and with the spray there will never be any monsters. I hope it works..people just dont realize how much a little child can be tramatized by scary movies. They can cause years of nightmares. But I really believe if your son and her cousin make it seem fun and involve her then it will help. She will have power too. The other two already have power, they scared her to begin with.

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M.E.

answers from Anchorage on

Hi R. -

You can have her imagine the "scary things" are in her room and then have her tell them to leave and not come back. Then you can do it too - both of you - she needs to be involved in getting rid of them for her to feel safe again.

Hope this helps,

M. M. Ernsberger
Holistic Healthcare Practitioner

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R.T.

answers from Phoenix on

When I was little and had bad dreams, my mom would pray for me in faith that Jesus Christ would take away the fear and give me a restful sleep. It always worked. I really believed and God did it. If you don't know the Bible or what Jesus did at the cross, maybe you have a friend who is a Christian that knows Jesus and how to pray accordingly - they could actually pray with her a giver her a brief explanation of God and Jesus, if you're okay with that. Kids don't have much trouble believing, as you can see with her believing her cousin and brother about the scary stuff. Well, you asked for any suggestions, and I know this has worked well in our Christian homes.

So, I will pray for you and your precious little girl - that's not fun to be scared every night. Oh, and by the way, do you have a night light in her room?

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S.L.

answers from Phoenix on

Try getting a spray bottle. Fill it with water and have her help make a label for " monster spray". Then at night before she goes to sleep have her use the "monster spray" to clear her room of the monsters. Then she is in control of her environment again and she should be able to get to sleep easier.

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S.L.

answers from Tucson on

Hi R.-
You are doing the right thing- but do put a night light in her room. There are some excellent books (whose names escape me right now) about nightmares, etc. (The Monster in the Closet)that you can read to her just before you turn off the light. It will be over soon. S.

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J.P.

answers from Phoenix on

1st of all I'd make sure she has a fun nigtlight. We got my daughter a nightlight that looks like it has bubbles and it also changes colors. 2nd...... we put salt around all the windows and doors. I told her that bad guys don't salt and that they melt just like slugs if they touch salt. We did that when she was 3. She's almost 10 and still believes that salt keeps the bad guys away.

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A.B.

answers from Phoenix on

This might sound funny, but it worked for me when this happened to me....TWO THINGS...A bottle of lavender essential oil and a small (4oz) spray bottle of water.

Help her to write her name on the bottle and have her design it all by herself. Pour about 15 drops of essential oil into the spray bottle and shake it up to disperse the oil through the water. This becomes MONSTER SPRAY!! You can be creative about a story where this is what the doctor said will make the monsters go away. And LET HER spray it throughout her room and around her closet and bed, giving the power to "banish the monsters". It will be empowering for her and make her feel like a super hero.

You can also use about 30 drops of the lavender to add to bedding. Wash the scent through sheets and bedding for the whole family. It is a VERY comforting scent and will help the entire family sleep....

Hope this helps...believe it or not I have seen MONSTER SPRAY sold in health food stores...

As an aromatherapist, I have made many an inexpensive bottle for other Monster Banishers...

A. Brant, Licensed Aesthetician/Aromatherapist

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A.K.

answers from Albuquerque on

When I was a kid, the same kind of thing happened to me. I think I was 5 or 6 when I watched the boogeyman-obviously too young and it helped to talk about how and why scary movies are made. I remember my mom talking with me about Hollywood. We had a "scary" puppet show. We started a good thoughts to sleep routine, she'd start listing off "good things" like unicorns and rainbows and then I would name some and then I would lay in bed and think of all the good things I could think of and fall asleep. I'm sure she did this so that she wouldn't have to lay with me until I fell asleep. I still don't watch scary movies!!

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R.K.

answers from Phoenix on

my daughter was scared of the dark and , of course, we told her there was nothing that was going to "get" her and that she was safe but to make sure that she wasnt scared anymore we would tell her that there were no monsters then say in a loud voice and in a light tone "ok all you mosters that are still left in here you better clear out" then we would check under the bed and everywhere else that she thought a monster might be (with her looking too)and show her that nothing was in her room but her animals and toys. we also had her sleep with an animal like a bear or dog and told her that she would be ok because not only was God looking out for her and gave her her own special angel to keep her safe but she also had the animal that would keep the scary things away. It seemed to work..good luck, R.

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M.B.

answers from Las Cruces on

A flashlight that is small and easy for her to turn on might work as well. When she thinks she sees one she can shine it on the monster to vaporize him. Whatever may have looked scary in the dark will look exactly like what she is used to in the light and the monster will suddenly be gone!

I found a Cars movie flashlight at Walmart that can be "flashed on" by just depressing the button and when the pressure is let up the light goes back off so you don't run out a pack of batteries every night. I remember seeing a girls character of some sort alongside it that might be appropriate for your daughter.

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D.E.

answers from Phoenix on

When my daughter was this age we made "Monster Spray" and sprayed it under the bed and in the closet and it worked like a charm. To make sure it worked, she is the one who sprayed it everywhere she thought a Monster might be hiding.

To her is was the best Monster Spray ever and used it for about a year.

All I did was take a spray bottle, a little bit of Pine Sol for the "smell" and water.

This works, all of my friends and Sister have done it with their kids.

Good Luck

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M.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello, My 7 yr. old daughter had the same problem @ that age and I asked her if a night light would help her. She said she didn't know so I asked if she wanted to try and said yes. We went to the store and she got an angle with lots of glitter and bright colors. Every night for about a week she turned it on and we said a little prayer and that seemed to help her. Well good luck and hope it gets better.

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E.C.

answers from Phoenix on

My daughter is 4 and also going through the "scared to go to bed" phase! I started turning on the hall light, and she has 2 night lights in her room...plus I bought her a pretty princess flashlight, most nights that works well, but she still sometimes ends up in our bed :)

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