2 Year Old Potty Training Advice

Updated on February 07, 2010
S.H. asks from Melrose Park, IL
14 answers

Hello

I have a question that I am sure has been posted somewhere already. My daughter turned 2 in October. I want her potty trained and she has absolutely no desire to do it. I would have liked to have started this sooner, but I was pregnant and had a baby last June and my pediatrician told me to hold off on the potty training a little longer. He said it would be too big of a change on Kayla that she might think it was the baby's fault and have some sort of resentment to her. So I waited....... a little too long I think. Now I can't even figure out where to begin. She has peed on the potty twice and that's it. She doesn't want to sit on it or look at her potty chair. She has no problem sitting in a wet or dirty diaper. If I didn't keep checking her to make sure she didn't need a diaper change she would probably sit in a dirty diaper all day. I have no idea where to begin or what to do. Can somebody please give me some advice on how to get her interested or am I pushing it and she will do it in her own time.

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

If she is not interested you can not force it. Potty training has to have a willing participant for the training to go smoothly. Although girls generally train earlier than boys there is not set age. If she is not ready just step back take a few breaths and try again next month.

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C.G.

answers from Chicago on

In my opinion, you are definitely pushing it. 2 is a little early to begin training, although some kids do want it at that age. If yours doesn't, don't force it. You are better off waiting 6 months or even up to a year until she is really ready. I trained my daughter at 2 3/4 and we were done in a week, no joke. I'm talking peeing on the potty, pooping on the potty, and NO diapers EVER - not even pull-ups at bedtime - after one week. And that's because she was really ready. It was worth the wait.

BTW, don't underestimate the convenience of diapers. People are always so anxious to potty train their kids because they think it is so much better and easier. It's not. Having to take your kid to the bathroom in the middle of dinner isn't convenient. Having to stop while driving somewhere isn't convenient. Even stopping what you're doing at home so you can help your child in the bathroom isn't convenient. And let's not forget how disgusting most public bathrooms are - bleck! And there isn't a kid in the world who doesn't want to touch every single thing in that stall. Disgusting! Enjoy life with diapers while you still have them. They're really not all that bad.

Best of luck!

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I recommend 3 Day Potty Training. I googled it, read up on it and decided to purchase it for $24. It was worth it for us. Our 28 mo. old was day and night trained in 5 days. She hasn't had an accident since (about a month). She had never actually pottied on the potty prior to using the method. I do have to say she was very motivated by wearing big girl panties (we let her pick a couple of packs) and had good bladder control. Her diaper would be dry for hours, but she did not mind sitting in a dirty diaper. She would also wake up "wet" most days. The method insists you throw away all diapers and switch to panties right away, which seemed extreme, but it worked for us. Even if you don't decide to use the method, it might help to go to the website. Good luck to you!

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

you said yourself, "i want her potty trained and she has absolutely no desire to do it." it's not about your timeline, it's hers. you can encourage, you can take her constantly, but unless she's ready you're going to be fighting an uphill battle. you can literally take her every hour and still have accidents, until the day she is ready, at which point she will seem to "magically" get it. my advice, encourage her, be supportive, keep bringing it up, and yes, keep trying, but don't push her or expect that just because you show her, she's going to start doing it. i tried several times (for a day or two at a time) and then laid off, before my son actually "got it". then the last time we tried taking him regularly, he was on top of it. he turned three this past september, and didn't potty train till the august before his third birthday.

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.

This was exactly the situation I was in this last Sept and my husband and I had no idea where to start. Our daughter also showed no interest, and in fact cried like crazy every time we put her on her potty. We tried pull-ups for a day-don't fall into that trap. I must second the vote for the 3-day potty training e-book that Megan mentioned before. It's 25 bucks and worth every penny. The first day was horrible but within the 3 days she was dry all day and night. It is a cold turkey, no diapers, pull-ups or training pants. It is based on a reward system and the way the method works the child feels in control. You tell her to let you know when she has to go rather than constantly asking her if she has to go. By the second week she was consistantly going by herself and then calling for me from the bathroom. She doesn't need to master every bathroom skill under the sun to be able to be potty trained-she just needs to be able to recognize the signs and there is no way she will do that if she is in a diaper because there is no need. The wiping and washing the hands will come in time-I still help my daughter with poop and it's 6 months later. I can't say enough about how much I love this method. It will be hard for the first couple days, so don't let it get you too down that first day. She will get it-it will just click suddenly. This is the perfect time to do it and I don't feel you would be pushing her at all. Good luck!

C.

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

I would give her more time. If she has zero interest, it is too soon. Take a break. Don't fret and try again in a few months. It worked for our son and he was trained in a few weeks about 2 mths before he turned 3. He only had a couple accidents and never wet the bed.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

Yeah it sounds like she's not ready yet. Every kid is unique, you can't just slap a method that worked for someone else onto your situation, nor can you worry about the timeline that other kids are potty trained. Especially since you just had a baby in June (I did too, on the 10th of June - congrats!!). It's a big enough change for our toddlers having the baby in the house. My son actually turned 3 in October and we just got him trained since Christmas. Boys supposedly do take longer, but still I thought for a little while that it might never happen for us either! Like your daughter, my son did not care if his diaper or pull-up was dirty, could keep playing forever I think if I didn't change him and he could have cared less.

What worked for us was the potty chart. I thought when my pediatrician suggested it that it would not work for us - I tend to spoil my little ones a bit so I thought just the notion of a sticker on the chart wouldn't do it for him. But I found some cool free Thomas the train and Cars potty charts online, and got some cool stickers. He LOVES it. I was so surprised. I'm sure you can find some free Dora (or whatever she's into) charts online too. We're fully trained now. I don't think my kid would have responded well to the pressure of the 3 day potty boot camp, or if he did, I could see having a regression afterwords at some point (also a big complaint I've heard from many people that used that system to get their kids trained). Anyway I'm just more of a fan of not rushing it and doing it at the kids' pace that fits their personality. Certainly lots of encouragement and reminders are needed to succeed, as well as lots of patience (and extra sets of underwear ;). But you have to remember - she's not going to turn 12 and not be potty trained! It will happen - she's only 2. You have plenty of time. Best of luck.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Learning to use the potty is like learning to walk: they need opportunity and practice, or lots of time. Prior to 1960, 90% of kids were potty trained by 18 months. They are more than capable, and there is a window of interest between 18-24 months.

In any case, you may want to check out this book: Potty Training Your Baby, by Katie Van Pelt.

I think there is stuff in there for over 2. I used it, and my 22 month old is totally day trained, and we are over half-way there for night.

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S.D.

answers from Tampa on

She'll probably do it in her own time. We tried with our son when he was just over 2yr. Didn't work at all. He's 2 1/2 now and is now in the process of underwear at home, diapers to sleep. I actually ventured out for a couple of hours with him in underwear and he went once in the potty when we were out and stayed dry the rest of the time. He did however make a big puddle on the floor shortly after we got home. We are still working on it. He generally does not tell us when he has to go, so usually he goes when we have him go (I usually do it like every 1-2hrs), or goes in his underwear. And everyday is different. The other day he only had one accident, today he had atleast 4. So, take a break for a little while, leave the potty out where she can see it, and try again in another month or so. I know it's frustrating cause you want her out of diapers, but she will do it in her own time. And girls are usually faster than boys they tell me, so with any luck she'll be potty trained before she's 2 1/2. Good luck!

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

She probably won't train til closer to 3 IMO. When I say train, I mean leave the diapers behind and put underwear on. She gets to the potty and does her business with minimal help. She does not wear a pull-up at night. I know many feel different about this, but training shouldn't be longer than a week or so. If your kid is wearing a pull-up for months and going on the potty a couple times a day-you are the one who is trained, not the child. I have been doing daycare for years and have come across almost no children who are able to do all this before 2.5. When she is interested, put her in underwear and take her to the potty constantly for a week. If she is truly ready, it will be easy. No struggling or fighting, if this is the case-the child is not ready. I know diapers seem like a pain, but it will be over before you know it. Besides, don't be to eager to get to underwear, then you start spending every outing scouting out the nearest bathroom and spending 10 minutes wiping it down so your kid can pee in it =)

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D.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,
I basically just went though the same situation. My daughter turned 2 in August and we had our second in July. I would have loved to train her before baby #2 came but it just wasn't happening and I didn't want her to digress. So I didn't push the issue for a while, she had a hard transition with her baby brother anyway. So about 2-3 months ago I went to our local library and checked out every book and DVD on potty training. We read and watched movies all weekend and attempted to use the potty at the same time. She had no problem sitting on the potty, telling me her diaper was full, but she just had no interest in wearing underwear and actually going into the potty. So I let it go. I tried every so often asking if she wanted to use it and still had no interest. But we kept reading the books and watching the movies. One day, about 2 weeks ago, she said "no more diapers, I want to wear underwear". So lo and behold, like everyone says, they will let you know when they are ready. She has done beautifully since then and just likes a high 5 every so often as a "reward". 2 1/2 is the age everyone kept telling me and she's right there, 29 months. So my advice, don't push it, but keep trying it and keeping it in her mind.
Good luck!
D.

K.L.

answers from Chicago on

This sounds exactly like my son! He has gone on the potty 2x and that is in the morning only. He has no problems sitting in a wet or dirty diaper, so I check him every hour or so. Sometimes he tell me "Mommy, I pooping" but not every time. Not sure what to so next, but he does have the Elmo Potty time DVD and he loves it. It does help him realize the little potty is there for him! He likes to sit on the potty with a diaper on! I am just going to take it slow and keep putting him on the potty!

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

If your child likes Elmo, he has a cute DVD Elmo's Potty Time...you might be able to find it at your library? Anyway, my daughter liked to watch it and I think it helped. Also, let her watch you go potty. The more she sees it the more it might help. And, we also did the M&Ms after each potty success which was a huge incentive for my daughter. For my son, I think it was more seeing his friends use the potty at daycare. It was just something they all did every couple hours, so it just became the norm and we didn't really have to even try with him.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

She has absolutely no desire to do it.

You want her trained.

Ask yourself: who has control over her bladder and bowels? Is it you or is it she? All the begging, pleading, forcing in the world isn't going to get her going any quicker.

Remember that potty training is a complex act:
-knowing/feeling they have to go
-getting to the bathroom in time
-being able to physically take down pants
-being able to get on the potty and go
-wiping
-washing hands

Whew! That's a lot for a two year old! Not that she can't do it, but it is one of the first complex-task skills you're asking her to complete. Even with kids who are ready, accidents are inevitable. What happens when she can't do all the steps and pees/poops in her pants, doesn't make it in time, doesn't wipe and her undies are all dirty, doesn't wash her hands? Are you able to keep your cool 100% and live through, perhaps, weeks of trial and error? Because if you're not...you will only become frustrated that it isn't working and she'll feel like an absolute failure.

You certainly can start introducing potty concepts to her, like watching the videos (personally I hate the Elmo video - it's FORTY minutes long - but many love it), letting her watch you in the bathroom, talking through all the things she can do when she goes potty, etc.

But really it is up to you - if you're okay with holding her hand every step of the way and potentially getting frustrated because it doesn't magically happen, then by all means start. You might have better results, though, if you choose to let HER take the lead because after all she has total control over her bladder/bowels and there isn't much you can do about it (especially if she's okay sitting in her own waste all day).

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