18 Month Old Talking and Potty Question ...

Updated on September 06, 2011
A.S. asks from Orwigsburg, PA
21 answers

i went to visit family today and my aunt told me my son should be talking very well by now. he says da for dad. hello. nanna. and when he pretend falls down he says aaaahhh boom. thats it. should he be talking more. it worries me.
she also said i should start potty training and have him mastered by age 2. does that sound right? or is this pushing it.
i am a little concerned about the talknig though.
thanks a lot!

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M.B.

answers from Orlando on

Some kids can be potty trained by age 2 my son was...but if he's not showing interest in it I wouldn't push him. It may cause the process to take longer. As for his speech if it concerns you I would speak to the dr and see what they suggest.

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S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Ahh...I can't help but laugh to myself.

My first child was speaking in 4 word sentences when he was 15 months old. The second child didn't speak a single word until she was 19 months. Now she is 26 months and is right where she should be with her vocabulary. Each child is different. I would not worry about him just yet, he sounds just fine.

As for potty training some kids aren't even ready to begin until they are 3 years old.

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F.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

First of all, you are the mother and not your aunt. Trust your own instincts and don't rely on what other people try to make you believe.

If you are concerned about a possible speech delay, talk to your doctor about it. My son was only speaking 5 words when he turned 2. The issue we had was that he was still using his pacifier during the day and we think that affected his speech development. With my doctor's recommendation, we contacted Early Intervention Services to have my son evaluated for possible speech delay. Turns out that he was slightly delayed and they believed that he would benefit from their services. We had a speech therapist come to our home once a week to start and then every other week. Three months before he turned three, they believed him to be back on track and was dismissed from the program. The great thing was that I didn't have to pay anything for it. The program is free up until the child turns three. As I previously stated, talk to your doctor if you are worried about it. If your doctor agrees that your son's speech is delayed than you can proceed from there. But don't get yourself work up about it until you talk to your doctor.

As for potty training....there is no set schedule for potty training. Every child is ready at different ages. Being trained by age 2 is unreasonable for most kids, in my opinion. I have three kids and none were even interested by age 2. My two girls were both potty trained, day and evening, when they were age 4. My son was 4 when I finally had enough of the continual accidents and just let him run around the house bottomless. That finally did the trick for him. But, he is now 6 years old and still not dry at night consistently. My doctor told me that this was normal for boys. Anyway, judge for yourself when you son is ready. If you start too early, you could end up with your son being very rebellious about it. Watch him. If he shows interest in you going potty or talking to you about it. Then go buy a potty seat and see if he will sit on it. But don't expect a sudden wanting to go potty on it. It may take months, or in the case of my kids, years before the process for daytime training is complete.

Good luck and once again...Trust your own instincts!

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T.O.

answers from Williamsport on

At my 18th mo. appointment for my now 26 mo old boy, my ped. said "he really is using a lot of words, at this age we like to see a child speaking 5 words and I can see he knows more than that." When I asked again he repeated that 5 words was the number looked for by professionals to be considered "on track".

As to the Potty training. I have 3 children now. I tried doing the "early age" training with my first and learned my lesson. She wasn't ready. In one hour she soiled 6 outfits. While I still had to endure the "unasked for advice" I didn't care. After all it was me doing the laundry and unless they wanted to help with it... it was my decision. My Sister-in-law, with no children was keen on telling me how she would do things differently, including telling me that she would have my second child, a boy, trained well before my first one had been. Well, now the shoe is on the other foot. She has an 11 month old and I am enjoying sitting back and watching her eat her words as she realized that all children are different and she can not "make" her son do things on her time schedule.

What I learned, people will always have advice on every subject for children. Most will volunteere it without encouragement. Trust your gut instincts. You are the caregiver and know better than anyone else about your child. If you see things that concern you, talk to your ped. about them. As to the talking part... well I, being a 3rd timer, I know now, they all start at different times, and once they do.... there is no volumn button, no off button, not even a pause button. While we all love to hear our children learn and master the art of speach, once they do, we start the long task of teaching them how to use it. You will be interupted in every conversation. You will miss news announcements. You will crave a drive to the store without constantant chatter so that you can think of the grocery list you didn't remember to bring or didn't have time to create yet and remember fondly that there once was a time when you worried about him speaking.

About the Potty training thing... I read several posts that have already gone up and the list of things to look for in the first few posts is what I use. I don't even try before then because it's a waste of time, energy, frustration, and laundry soap :).

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Your aunt needs to be spanked for telling you that! LOL People who tell moms that are just wrong. Don't push your child into potty training. That's too early. I have a SIL who claims she potty trained her 2 kids at 9 months old! She has always pushed the young women in the family to potty train by their 1st birthdays. Ugh. And the speech... there is a wide range for average speech for any age. For 18 months he sounds fine. Don't allow this woman to guilt and bully you. Snap on her when she tries!

K. B
Mom to 5 including triplets

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Good grief!

He might have some speech delay but not a lot. We had our boy evaluated at 20 months and he was speech delayed but the next week or so he started talking in paragraphs. I wouldn't worry, ask your pediatrician about it at the next appointment or make an appointment if you don't have one for a while. They will know if he's behind enough to consider having him evaluated.

As for potty training, he's a toddler not a preschooler. Most child care centers don't even have a bathroom in their toddler rooms for potty training. They have bathrooms for potty training in the classes for kids ages 3 years old and above.

He's not behind, not even a bit.

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J.K.

answers from Cleveland on

Potty-trained by age 2? Wow, that sounds a little crazy to me. How about waiting until he is interested in the potty (over age 2) and then take it from there. That sounds a little more reasonable to me.

If you are concerned about his speech, I would contact your local early intervention program to have him evaluated. They can tell you where he is at developmentally with his speech.

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your aunt sounds like my sister, grrrrrrr!

His language sounds fine, my little guy was about the same at 18 months, by 2 he was speaking full sentences, and at almost 29 months he's now speaking paragraphs and beginning to read.

She was also on me to get him trained, (her son trained at almost 3) and we started at 26 months and he was doing great and then started to regress, we took time off and tried again and he just isn't there yet so we're now waiting a couple of months.

IF you have concerns about your son's speech talk to his pediatrician.

To know when to begin potty training ask yourself:
Does your son stay dry at least 2 hours at a time during the day or is he dry after naps?
Are his bowel movements regular and predictable?
Do his facial expressions, posture, or words reveal that he's about to urinate or have a bowel movement?
Can he follow simple instructions?
Can he walk to and from the bathroom and help undress?
Does he seem uncomfortable with soiled diapers and want to be changed?
Does he ask to use the toilet or potty chair?
Does he ask to wear big-boy underwear?

http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

If he isn't ready do yourself and him a favor and wait ; )

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like he's on the slower end of normal for verbal development, but still within the normal and acceptable range. The 6 months between 18 months and 2 yrs is a huge developmental growth period, so he'll probably start talking a lot more very soon. He should have had a well-check at 18 months, and the pediatrician asks how many words the child says. If the doctor didn't express concern, then he's on track. If your son is not expressing interest in potty training, then he's not ready. Some kids can master potty training by 2, but most cannot. Boys especially are prone to potty training later because of how their bodies are physically made. Ignore your aunt.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

I wouldn't worry one bit about what your aunt says. My daughter wasn't saying too much at 18 months but she exploded verbally shortly after that. If you are concerned, you could always contact Early Intervention services for your state and ask to them evaluate him (their services are free). In the meanwhile, I would make it a point to talk to your son all the time - point out what you see outside, what's in the store, give descriptions. Make sure you are reading to him every day - reading can sometimes make all the difference in a child when it comes to how many words they hear and start to pick up. You can also try some basic sign language to give him a way to communicate before he starts picking up more words.

There is absolutely no reason he needs to be potty trained by age 2. It's not about an age or a number or a deadline, it's when the child is physically and mentally ready and is showing an interest in using the potty. If he's not ready, you are just going to create more stress and anxiety in yourself and your child. There are many websites where you can learn more about signs of potty training readiness and when and how to proceed. My daughter didn't get potty trained until after she was 3 1/2 and she's fine. There is no harm in waiting until your child is ready, but you can create a whole new set of problems by forcing it too soon.

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

He sounds normal to me and no, don't listen. Early training is just asking to be frustrated.

M.L.

answers from Erie on

Absolutely not! Boys always seem to take longer than girls. i have a 25 month old who really is just starting to talk alot. and he's no where close to being ready to potty train. my 5 year old didn't want anything to do with the potty (in a real way anyways...not just sitting on it) until he was right around 3. don't worry about it. 2 is even early for girls who seem to start early.

I wouldn't pay attention to what family says. it's you and your doctor that counts. if he's really not talking by 2, your dr will probably suggest an early intervention assessment. which is no big deal. some speech therapy would probably help everyone, not just him. they give great tips on helping the process along (speaking from experience). my 2 year old is a bit late in talking due to some hearing issues he had a year or so ago so he's in therapy now and it's great! so don't be afraid to call.

Good luck and don't worry about what anyone else has to say! lol

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H.1.

answers from Des Moines on

Don't worry about it....why are others alwasy trying to tell us what our kids SHOULD be doing? Ask your pedi about the speech development - but all kids develop at different rates. My son is 16 months old and he says lots of words but most are only the first syllable of the word "da" for dad, "no", "ba" for banana, etc.

As far as potty training....how old is your aunt? I have been thinking about when to start potty training my son as well and I have been reading that older generations (like 50 years ago) had kids potty trained at average age of 18 months. Thinking is that disposable diapers have made leaving kids in diapers so much more convenient. So, it is possible you could start thinking about it soon, but seriously don't stress over your aunt's "suggestions."

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J.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

Every child is different which is why there is a range of "normal". My daughter wasn't really talking at 18 months, but now, at 3 years old, talks constantly all day long and her speech and vocabulary are well above what is expected for her age- she was just a bit late to start.

As for potty training, my daughter just turned 3 and still has absolutely no interest. I don't even think she realizes yet the sensation before she has to go- she just recognizes when she is actually going. If kids are physically ready, they will not be able to do and it will take much longer and more frustrating for everyone involved. My opinion, wait until he is ready and interested.

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

RE the potty training by age 2 - she's out of touch. Esp for a little boy. Esp for any child, really!! His speech will come along fine - if he doesn't expend it significantly by his second birthday, then discuss options with your ped. No worries, mama. :)

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

Sounds totally "normal" to me... All kids learn to speak at somewhat different ages (just like walking). Check w/ your Dr. if you are concerned. As far as the potty training... don't push it. My son was one week past 3 years when he told me it was time for big boy undies (we'd tried once before). He was right - that weekend he was out of diapers for good. They'll do it in their own time - watch for signs and make it fun. 18 mos is really too young for potty training.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I have 5 very healthy and well developed children and only one of them was talking at age 18 months. In fact, two of mine weren't even talking at 2 1/2 and they are the ones who read all the time and read 3 grades higher than they are (and speak very well). Two of mine were three and four before they were potty trained. Everyone seems to forget what it's like to raise children. All of us who are in the midst of raising children have kids who talk late supposedly and potty train late but those who've done it already had kids talking and potty trained at birth. Selective memory! You're fine! My nephew was severely delayed in speech and they didn't even diagnose him until age 4 and they didn't treat him until Kindergarten. My sister knew there was a problem early on but there was really not much to do until it could be confirmed and treated. I think you're doing fine. You just have to smile and nod at those possibly well-meaning comments.

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S.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Don't listen to your aunt. Listen to your pediatrician. My MIL told me all her kids were potty trained by 18 months! I doubt that. When he is ready to potty train you will see signs. Speaking may be an issue, if you keep up on your pediatrician about and they think there is a concern you can get early intervention services to work with him on talking. My nephew didn't speak until he was 2, and he is four now and just chats all day long. Don't let your family put added pressure on you.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, A.:

People are well meaning when they give advice, but sometimes
it is painful to hear it. Your son is still a baby. Every baby grows at his/her own rate. Wait until next summer for the potty training.

When people tell you things that your son needs to be doing, be a reporter and ask them all kinds of questions to see how come they are telling you this information.

Just a thought.

D.

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J.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Haven't read others responses, but I'm sure everyone is saying "Don't worry what people/books/other kids are doing at a particular age. Every kid develops at different speeds." Do not, do not compare your child to other kids or what books or others say he should be doing.

That said, for what it is worth, my DD didn't really start talking until she was about 2 (it's good that yours is obvious understanding and trying to communicate).

We didn't do serious potty training until 2 mos short of her 3rd birthday. I had a little potty in the bathroom starting around 18 mos for her to get interested in sitting on it, but I never pushed it as I hear that can really backfire. He'll let you know when he's ready to start using the potty, via showing more interest in the potty, perhaps sitting on it himself, etc.. You'll drive yourself nuts if you try to force it. Plus, "they say" boys potty train later than girls do...

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi, I seem to remember you posting about the talking before, indicating that your pediatrician was concerned at your son's last appointment. If that is the case, then you should give Early Intervention a call.

Potty training varies greatly. Some rare kids have it mastered by age 2. More commonly, kids starting becoming interested between ages 2 and 3.

I wouldn't pay much attention to what your aunt has to say. I could give you my opinion on how much he should be talking - but this is a conversation you should be having with the developmental specialists at early intervention, not people online, like me, who don't have any credentials.

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